after a long time away, I am happy to report...

[mrobinson84]

I've gone through an entire year in control of my anxiety and phobia!!! When I first joined this forum, I was going through trauma therapy for a huge issue Id endured as a teen. I always remember having emet, but after that trauma it skyrocketed. Upon completion of trauma therapy, it opened up an avenue of why my anxiety was so high that I had never traveled down before. I sought out therapy for this issue next. My therapist was amazing. He was very holistic about the whole thing (which is nice because of my spiritual beliefs) and really allowed me to allow my phobia to be real when I was speaking. Which is very different than most therapists I've seen. He gave me structure, he gave me homework which made me get to know myself in stead of hiding from it. And what I found out in this journey to self discovery was something I'm not willing to share with the world yet as I'm harboring alot of irrational guilt attached to it still that I'm working on. But, it was life changing, eye opening, honest, raw and RATIONALLY real...instead of phobia real. The important thing here is--success can be reached.

I was that girl who didnt want to go to elementary school for fear someone there would get sick in the floor...I needed teacher's aids on school trips because my anxiety of someone getting car sick on the trip sent me into hysterics. The girl who wouldn't leave her house with her kids during flu season for fear and they stayed unhealthily secluded to my cave of lysol and hand sanitizer. The girl who couldn't watch movies with v* scenes in it, who lost her mind anytime ANYONE told me their stomach hurt. I became the master of interrogation for those people. I found myself...who I was without the phobia...and she'd been hard to find and hiding for a very long time.

It changed everything about life. It changed everything about me. It changed my family, my ability to go out of my house and have fun. And most importantly to me, my ability to care for my children. That always got me the hardest. I felt like I couldn't be a mom to my kids.

Now I can be there. I no longer feel like I have to hide from the world on the off chance one of my children, or myself, or anyone around me, has breathed in air containing germs I fear. It seems silly to me even now typing. With this real accomplishment, I've told myself I will help anyone I ever cross paths with in need of support in their emetophobia journey.

I never thought I could live like this...free.

I hope for any and all out there still fighting that you continue to fight. I fought for 30 years and found my peace. I'm not perfectly healed. I get the yuckie thoughts just like any normal person. I dont want to v*. It's gross. But that's all it is to me now...a bodily function that needs to happen to keep me and my kids healthy. And when I do find my anxiety rising in my throat, I know that's all it is...anxiety and fear. I'm not scared anymore. I am in control, and have been for a year. I'm pretty proud of that

[andee]

This is so wonderful!! And it's great to hear about really good therapists as well. So glad for you! When you can, please fill us in more about everything.

[KimberlyP]

Oh my gosh! Thank you so much for posting this!! I cannot believe how much I relate to you! I hope to someday be where you are. I've decided this year is my year to change. The other night my autistic son was vomiting and crying for me (my husband was soothing him, so he wasn't all alone but he wanted his mommy) but I was hiding in the room with earphones in and shaking. That as the moment I decided I need to change.

I also had pretty traumatic things happen in my life that I believe brought on my emetophobia as well as so many other disorders and issues. I just wanted to thank you for posting this; you did it just when I needed it. It is such an encouragement that this thing that I feel I will never overcome is possible.

[mrobinson84]

KimberlyP,
Good for you! Taking the first step in gaining control and deciding when you want to change, instead of letting emet control you, is a huge thing!!! Yay!!! I'm thrilled this message reached you at an important moment. Success can be reached! I cry in joy for myself everytime I think about how far I've come in the last year. You can have that too! I know you can!

Keep seeing what you want for yourself and people who are meant to help you along the way will find you we always find eachother

Please message me if you ever need support, encouragement, etc.