New and nervy

[Sinead]

I've only recently admitted to myself that my problems with v* and illness in general actually had a name, and I can't work out whether I'm relieved or terrified. Putting a name on it only makes it more real, it's like I'm now fully aware that there is something psychologically wrong with me, and I don't know what to do about it. I can't be near anyone who even says they feel sick, let alone that is actually v-ing, and I will do anything in my power to avoid being s* myself. It hasn't inspired compulsive hand-washing or avoiding leaving the house or avoidance of certain foods, but if there is someone being s* near me, I need to get away as fast as humanly possible. If I feel s* myself, I'll focus on things that take my mind off feeling s*, so that I don't feel like it's going to happen, or if I actually feel it coming, I'll force it back rather than let it come.

[trigger warning, proceed with caution]
I also have a fear of coughing, which ties into this quite closely. I currently have a cold/flu with a chesty cough, and I'm genuinely afraid to cough properly, because it feels too much like v-ing in my mind. Instead, I'm forcing myself to focus on not coughing at all, which is making me feel worse, instead of getting everything off my chest. My chest is tight and rattle-y, and I know what I'm doing is wrong, every fiber of my being tells me it's wrong, but when I feel a cough coming and I feel like it might be more than a little cough, I panic. Part of my problem with this is the lack of control that comes with a bad cough, if I'm doing big coughs in quick succession, I can't control it, my body goes to war with my mind and I force it to stop, forcing myself to bring my breathing under control again, even if it's short and shallow breaths because I can't handle anything deeper. Sometimes the stuff in my lungs clogs me up completely and I can't breathe at all, and this makes me panic even more until I can make it clear up a little again so I can breathe. I also find large amounts of coughing difficult because I can't breathe between coughs, because the stuff in my chest is blocking everything up, which only makes the panic worse. If something tries to come up, I automatically force it back down again, because the sensation is too close to actually v-ing and it scares me to death.

But long story short, it's a comfort to know that I'm not the only one in the world with a problem like this, and I hope that we can all find a way of getting past it and leading lives without fear

[mdgirl1977]

welcome! a lot of kids get emet after v episodes w coughing. personally I let myself cough because I know it's sit and phlegm and if rather get that out than hold it in. but realllly bad coughing scares me so I get where you are coming from. are you on cough medicine? can you get some cough drops?

[Sinead]

I started taking a cough bottle earlier today, but I'm running quite low so I won't be able to take it tomorrow. Have also been drinking plenty of hot drinks and put my head under a towel with some boiling water earlier, so I'm hoping it'll go away eventually. Because it feels so close to v-ing in my mind, I can't make myself just cough it up and get it out, because I just get scared and panicky, especially if I can't breathe. I'm repeating myself now, sorry >.<

[MrsEmetophob]

I absolutely panic when i get that "tickle" in the back of my throat and I have to cough/gag to get it to stop! It puts me immediately into a panic attack.. and a bad one!

This might be weird, but its helped me in the past...i sit in a steaming hit shower (doors closed, no fan on) and i lay a wet hot wash cloth on my face, and allow the heat to help break up the gunk in my nose/chest, much like the towel/boiling hot water thing. I not only feel better, but the hot water raining down on me helps my body aches...
Welcome, btw! Its a tough phobia, and for me, i feel less....abnormal and freakish that there are others who share my fear and can offer uo support and comfort and i find responding to peoples post and trying to help (whether i am or not idk BUT) helps me immensely. Since finding this forum, my anxiety has become a little more manageable. I still have horrible moments but this "safe place" helps.

[Sinead]

Funnily enough, I'm alright with dry, tickly coughs, it's just chesty/mucus coughs that get me. I end up suppressing it rather than let myself cough and get everything of my chest, which is probably doing more harm than good, but when I feel like I'm going to cough, something makes me stop and force myself not to cough, no matter how much I need to. It's driving me insane. I'll probably try the shower thing later and see how it goes

It's definitely a help knowing I'm not the only one out there, being able to talk to people who can relate to me and how I'm feeling is definitely a good thing, and now that I've finally admitted that it's there I guess I'm on my way to helping myself get past it.

The GP gave me an antibiotic and a cough bottle earlier, so that should help with the short-term problem, and she's referring me to a counsellor for the emetophobia, so hopefully once that starts I'll start seeing some results

[mhartse]

Welcome. Yes that tickle gets me really worried. Or when your drinking and it goes down the wrong side, AH freaks me out too. I always say that about emetophobia, theres SOOO many other contributing aspects to it.

[psalm139]

Welcome to the group. Glad you are here I'm sorry you haven't been feeling good. Colds are no fun and sometimes the coughing can be worrisome. Have you tried cough suppressants?? They may help a little.