MY emetophobia story (Warning might be long)

[Hannah A.]

Posting this in the public forum so people who don't have accounts can read it too

Since a lot of members have done this I figured I would too.
If you're new to the site, I am Hannah (as you've probably figured out from my username). I'm 13 years old and in 8th grade... I live in the United States.
Anyways...

I have had emetophobia for a while. 3 years exact in a few days in fact
Now I have always been freaked out by v* but it never really affected me until mid-2011 when I got fp or an sv (Don't know what it was exactly to be honest!). I had gone to bed with a headache. I did not think anything of it since I get headaches a lot. Took pain killers and went to sleep. Woke up some time in the night, not sure when. I did not look at my clock. Well I felt the v* in my mouth and remember thinking "what the hell is this???". I was not expecting to be sick. And for whatever reason it was super scary for me. The next night I remember crying and shaking in fear that I'd be sick again. I have been like that ever since.

I have had my ups and downs.... It got a little better in 2012 and then in early 2013 I got a virus. Did not v* thankfully but had tons of d* and that scared me still. Got a little better after that. THEN... In late 2013 (I'm talking December here) I got sick again. And unfortunately I v* twice. I did not want it to happen and believe me I tried to stop it but to no avail. I was still sick. I was horrible.

At first I was like "Hm that was not as bad." but then the next night, you guessed it, I went straight back to fearing it.

I wouldn't sleep in my room for a while because it reminded me of being sick. Certain colors bother me, such as apricot/peach pink color. That was the color of my v* and so now that color freaks me out sometimes. I wouldn't wear certain shirts. Like I had this navy blue shirt with a dog on it, and I did not like to wear it because I had v*d on it. I won't eat certain foods such as cantaloupe or mandarin oranges.

I cannot tell the difference between sick feelings and "normal" stomach feelings. Like for example the other day I was having gas and some loose bowels. My mind immediately thought "OMG STOMACH VIRUS!" when I knew it was just a weird stomach thing and nothing to worry about. I work myself up over stupid things all the time. I will get panic attacks out of nowhere.

All in all, this fear really is stupid and I wish it did not exist. That is all. Thanks for taking the time to read this if you do.

[HannahO]

This sounds a lot like me. Down to not eating certain foods, not liking certain places of colors. But guess what? You did V and you're alive! It sucked, terribly so, but you're stronger for it. Remember that the next time you're panicking. Remember that you did it, recently, you survived and even thought, "Hey, that wasn't so bad." you're tougher than you think.