I took a vacation!

[Rhujaa]

So, this year I experienced what I believed to be the norovirus in late March. This caused my phobia to go into extreme relapse and I struggled for months and months trying to get myself to eat like normal and convince myself I wouldn't be sick from eating. I've been trying to recover from anorexia (more or less) due to being afraid to eat certain foods and/or food in general, because I was constantly worried and anxious about v*. I want to start by saying that I am still recovering and still struggling to get back to my normal behavior, but I feel like I have made progress.

I went on vacation with my boyfriend; we flew from Philadelphia (PA) to Portland (OR) to stay with his dad for a few days. I was really scared before the flight because we had woken up super early at 4am, so naturally I felt n* and crappy. I took some meclizine and a bit of my alzaprolam, and managed to nibble on the biscuits I had baked the night before. Everything turned out fine on the flight and the layover.

I was able to get myself to get over a little of my skepticism about eating out and judging food I have not prepared, and I actually enjoyed myself. We rented a car and drove about 2.5 hours to Seattle (WA) for a convention (Pax Prime) for the rest of our vacation. For the car ride and the next four days, I was able to get around a bustling, crowded convention center and eat food out every day - I even wore a cosplay costume every day! I felt like myself again (sort of), and didn't let my anxiety control me - in fact I was able to keep it in check most of the time. I'm not a huge fan of crowds, but knowing I had my boyfriend there and that there were so many cool people that shared my interest in video games was enough to keep me going.

Even though I spent some of the time anxious, it was not nearly as bad as it has been in the past few months. I also feel better after returning - although I have to say I like it much better out in the Pacific mid-west! We are definitely debating moving out there. Anyway, back to the topic - I feel like getting away from my normal routine of work and getting out of the house for an extended period of time (change of scenery, you know) really helped keep my focus away from my anxiety and realize that most of what I was feeling was just me being anxious and over-thinking things. I felt successful over the course of the trip and I kept my head on straight.

I hope this encourages some people to go out and have some fun! It seems scary at first - I was terrified about how I would handle the vacation - but everything turned out alright for me. I will be first to admit that vacation did not cure me, but I know it has had a positive effect on my attitude.

[mhartse]

even though you were anxious, YOU DID IT! Great job! Know you can overcome anything!

[MichelleS]

Way to go! Loved hearing this! We are never cured but we can live semi normal. Its getting out there and trying and succeeding that makes it so much better. Keep up with it! I believe in you. Thanks for sharing this awesome story! I know it will touch someone and help them ��