8 yr old son having anxiety

[horsewoman]

Since the hospital stay my boy started having anxiety attacks and I'm afraid some emet is in there too. He says he feels sick frequently. It's so sad to see him withdrawl and be scared. He's normally outgoing and full of life. Oh God, I pray I didn't give this to him and it will pass..

[mdgirl1977]

anxiety in kids often manifests as atomach aches. doesn't mean he is emet at all but I understand your concern. my sons around the same age and he has anxiety and adhd. it's key to try to get him out and back into his routine, whatever that is. sports, movies, lego, etc. just nudge him gently back into his previous life. kids do bounce back so if you take it slow and give him space to work through his fears, he will be ok. if it persists for weeks, though, you may want to call his pediatrician. hugs.

[Syrup]

Remember that we all have the same fear and look for the symptoms (that usually aren't there) because we don't want our children to suffer like we do. I talked a few years back about this with my therapist and want to share some of what I've learned (not that I'm an expert - not even close!). First of all, you can't PASS ON an phobia. A person is either anxious or they aren't. Period. That's something that's part of their makeup. Now, can a parent cause a natural fear? Perhaps. A full blown phobia? No. The wiring of the brain is set with anxiety but the person chooses the focus. My mother is phobic of flying. Terrified. She talked about it my entire childhood. We were supposed to fly to England with my grandparents and we couldn't go because she was scared we'd go down in flames. I flew myself in 10th grade and she had me watch 'Alive' the night before to convince me not to go. It didn't phase me. Still doesn't. She's always been an anxious person but you CAN NOT CONVICE someone to be scared of something that they aren't naturally fearful of or haven't had a bad experience with.

Beyond that, MOST children have a bit of emetophobia at some point. That's why the 'growing out of it' rates are so high. MOST kids have a traumatic experience at some point and are fearful for a bit. It's not uncommon, but they recover and move on.

Your son had a bad experience. It's understandable. But here's the thing - my son was the same last Spring. He asked me for 5 months almost every day if he was going to get sick. I asked for help from a counselor who assured me that if I treated it like a nothing so would he. So, I did. He'd ask if I thought he was going to t/u, I'd say I didn't think so but we'd deal with it if he did and move on (sometimes with me literally shaking, but I'd go do something else). We want details because of our phobia, but resist the urge to ask. Don't inquire about his stomach or if he's feeling better. Tell him to use the toilet if he has to and then play a game, take a walk, watch a movie, anything but focus on sickness or stomach issues. IT WILL PASS. It will. I know it's terrible to go through and you're freaking out in your head (I was too!), but it will stop.

Remember that every kid goes through this stuff, more than 95% AREN'T phobic (even those with phobic parents!), and besides that, it's rare in boys and men. I know some say it's because males don't admit it bit according to my therapist, it's truly not a common phobia in men (they have their own! most of the time).

This will pass. Remind yourself of that truth. Focus on staying calm and he'll follow your lead! xoxo

[horsewoman]

Thank you for taking the time to reply and share your experiences, so nice to have support from pple that get it. It's been a rough time for my little man, he is now sick again, this time with something respiratory and high fever Trying to keep him calm is the hardest.. He's worried about having to go back to the hospital and asks me 50 times a day to promise we're not.

[andee]

Hope he's feeling better horsewoman. I had terrible anxiety as a child from this phobia. I had one instance of being ill and that stayed with me forever. I couldn't eat, and also asked my mom hundreds of times if I was sick, if I was okay, etc. I hated going to school and just wanted to be home with my mom and dad. I ended up being hospitalized twice due to malnutrition. Anyway, yes, listen to your little guy, but don't feed into his fears. Let him know you are there for him and give him all the support, but don't let him see your anxiety. And what about the hospital is he afraid of? You could tell him that he won't go back, but that hospitals help people get better and are great if they are needed. It's awful for him to feel so powerless, so you can try to give him some power back. Positive talking...tell him his body is strong and he will get better. Good luck and hugs...

[horsewoman]

Thanks Andee, my phobia as a child was tornados.. Then it morphed into this emet as an adult... I believe his is getting shots/ I.V.... I like the idea of giving him his power back, believe words are powerful. He is finally without a fever today so hopefully he can make it back to school and his life this Thursday. Thanks for the support.