Terrified about wanting children in the future.

[JustLacey]

post deleted for my own privacy

[Dairyfreelife]

I always wanted to be a mother as well and wanted children as soon as possible.

One thing is to say beyond emet is to not rush it. Get settled, get your education first, get a good job first. I know you probably hear adults say it over and over and over, but that is because it is true. Life goes by so fast.

It turns out I am infertile, but I also discovered I have likely had this for years and have probably been infertile for years. I just did not it know it. It's been tough, but I think it is much better to have found out at 25 then at 18. I would not have handled it as well back then.

Also, important thing with children is to focus on them and not your own emotions. That is easier said than done, but focus on yourself right now. Get help. Get serious CBT and exposure therapy. Fight this phobia and cure/recover from this while you are young. Get yourself and your emotions and anxiety under control now, before you have children. Prepare for if you have children and if they vomit what you will do. You can have a plan of action for when that day comes. Have lysol III, bleach, baking soda, bowl with liner and most of all realize that it is not that bad. It is only a virus. It will be over within a day or two and even if I catch it is NOT the end of the world. It is NOT the worst thing to happen to you, not even close, no matter what your mind with this phobia is telling you.

[Syrup]

Don't worry about the next season, focus on the season you're in now and make it better. Let tomorrow's troubles be tomorrow's troubles. How can you make yourself better today? You want children someday which is fabulous, don't attach your current problems onto your hopes for later. Today you have a phobia, what's a change you can make now to make tomorrow less fearful?

[mhartse]

I am almost 25 years old and have been married almost 5 years. When we first got married my phobia wasn't that bad and we tried to get pregnant but I could not. I have fertility issues and I don't think I can get pregnant on my own. (don't prevent it) so now I feel like im between a rock and a hard space, because if I commit to having kids, then that means I am okay with V... but I don't think I will ever be there sadly. This phobia takes too much away from me!

[mdgirl1977]

I am emet. I am a single mom. My son is almost 8. My ex takes him when he is sick. It is tough but it is worth it. My son isn't sick much, maybe once a year. It is stressful every day when I worry he will BE sick, but the good times outweigh the bad and I wouldn't trade being his mom for a guarantee of a vomit free life. Being a mom is a great joy, if you want it. He is growing up really fast and eventually won't need me. When he gets sick now he can get to the toilet and doesn't need me like when he was 2 or 3. So it's not eternal that you need to be there...my son knows I am emet and doesn't make me feel bad about it. Last night he was sick and his dad came and in the 2 hours we were waiting I apologized for being a horrible mom and while holding a trash can he looked at me and said "what? you are an AMAZING mom and I wouldn't trade you for anything just because you are scared of me throwing up. its ok. I am a big boy" and I cried a bit because I realized I hadn't completely failed him.

Point of that story - don't let anything stay in your way of being a mom if that is what you want. There is always a way.

[Sammi1990]

I'm a mom-to-be. The second I knew I was pregnant, I told my hubby, whenever the child is sick- they're his! Already worked it out between my mother taking the sick children at times and my hubby. We've agreed to containing the sickness to the basement... I guess that's what's helping me think positively at this, and not constantly think about the child getting sick.

[crd08]

You are still plenty young, so don't focus on that yet. Just focus on right now and take it day by day. Many people on here have kids and emet, so it can be done. But you could also overcome this phobia and it wont even be an issue when the time comes Just stay positive and strive to overcome.

[mamacat]

You are still so young!! I love children and have always known I wanted them, but there were certainly times in my life when my emet was so bad that I didn't know exactly how that would come about, LOL! I do have two children now, and while the severity of my phobia fluctuates (I'm in a pretty good place overall right now, just having a bad day), I am still emet and I have trouble when they are sick. My husband is self-employed and cannot take days off to help me, so it's just me and them when they are ill. It's not fun. But I have my gloves, and my supply of bleach and rags, and my stockpiles of trashbags and medicines, and I just deal with it because I have no choice in the matter. Do I want to cry? Frequently. Do I want to hide? I am hiding right now. My daughter has sv and she is watching cartoons draped in towels and I am two rooms away on the computer. But this is just one bad day, and it happens maybe once a year. And we will all get through it--with the help of plenty of bleach and hand washing. So if you want children, I think you should do it! Finish school first, and find the right person, and do the things you want to do for yourself first. But you can still have emet and be a good parent, I promise

[Sjg333]

I'm also in this predicament.... The other worry I have is pregnancy and sickness along with that!
I am Obvs not a parent yet so I can't give any advice BUT my mum has this phobia too and so from the child's perspective (Even though I'm nearly 22 now lol) I would say, when the time is right, if/when you have children try not to make out V is such a terrible thing than as we think of it with this phobia!
My mum is a fantastic mum but when I used to V as a child (and even now) she was in a seperate room hiding, shaking and crying (even from me being the age of 3-4) so I grew up thinking of it as a terrible thing hence I'm now here on this site with this phobia lol. My 8 year old sister is the same because of the way my mum has handled us V-ing in the past. It must be so horrible for her as she was a single parent and my dad was never around so she couldn't just send us to him when it happened... She was completely alone.

I 100% understand how terrible and hard it must have been for her, but the downside is that me and my sister now have this terrible phobia.

However I am not slating her parenting and even with this crazy anxiety... She is a wonderful parent and I wouldn't swap her for anything, I'm sure your future children would say the same about you if having a phobia is the only slightly negative thing they can say about your parenting

[anna81]

I am emet. I am a single mom. My son is almost 8. My ex takes him when he is sick. It is tough but it is worth it. My son isn't sick much, maybe once a year. It is stressful every day when I worry he will BE sick, but the good times outweigh the bad and I wouldn't trade being his mom for a guarantee of a vomit free life. Being a mom is a great joy, if you want it. He is growing up really fast and eventually won't need me. When he gets sick now he can get to the toilet and doesn't need me like when he was 2 or 3. So it's not eternal that you need to be there...my son knows I am emet and doesn't make me feel bad about it. Last night he was sick and his dad came and in the 2 hours we were waiting I apologized for being a horrible mom and while holding a trash can he looked at me and said "what? you are an AMAZING mom and I wouldn't trade you for anything just because you are scared of me throwing up. its ok. I am a big boy" and I cried a bit because I realized I hadn't completely failed him.

Point of that story - don't let anything stay in your way of being a mom if that is what you want. There is always a way.

I just had to say that is so lovely!!

[mdgirl1977]

aw thanks Anna! It is a tough battle. but he is a great (pain in the ass) kid