Family tummy bug - no emet?! (detailed)

[vgirl]

NOTE: I use words, not abbreviations, so if you're not cool with this, please don't scroll down. I just can't stand shortening everything... :-)))




















My daughter wasvomiting one day last week and then a couple of days later, my husband came home with the same thing (another parent said there's a terrible stomach flu going around the school). So of course, I walked around in a state of high anxiety for a few days and figured I was in the clear until on Monday afternoon I realized my appetite was gone and I had stomach pain and a headache that got worse and worse, along with a bit of a fever and dizziness.


I've always considered myself pretty seriously emet, since a horribleepisode of public vomiting when I was a kid as well as from my mother's smothering care when one of us was sick. I didn't know what it was called for many years (until the Internet came along!), but knew a) I hardly ever threw up, and b) didn't want to think about it, talk about it, etc.


But here's the thing... on Monday night, I justknew I had the same thing my dh & dd (husband & daughter) had had. Same symptoms, everything, except no vomiting, of course, because I'm me. I asked dh if his tummy had hurt that much and he said, only until he threw up. Great. I hadn't vomited in twelve years and couldn't live another decade or so with this kind of discomfort. :-)


But then, something must have clicked because I thought, why should I have to lie here suffering?


With lots of water running for background noise, I undressed and made myself throw up as much as possible. I hadn't eaten much, but drank lots of water beforehand. I gagged myself with my fingers, which, believe me, is VERY hard to do with my hard-core emetophobic gag-reflex.


It took a LOT of effort - I think a normal person would have vomited after just a gentle touch at the back of the throat, but this was a LOT more invasive.


It also took a ton of willpower to keep my hand there... I'd push down and my tummy would lurch and I would want to take my hand out but the pain in my stomach and the nausea would remind me of why I was there in the first place. I think it helped that the vomit - when it came - wasn't very horrible; I hadn't eaten much, so it was mostly water with some other drinks from earlier in the afternoon.


After that, I was SO shaky; dh came and offered me drinks & stuff... I don't think he realized I had just vomited (kinda clueless, with the extra-long shower and all). I felt less lousy for a while, but as the nausea mounted again, I went back, I think about 3 times. I kept wondering when I'd know I was done,and dreading the nausea coming back, but I eventually fell asleep.


The next night (last night),after not eating in 24 hours and just some diarrhea in the morning, I had a handful of cheerios and thenstarted feeling yucky again... all sweaty and flushed (no pun intended). Again, I drank a lot of water and went into the bathroom. Because I hadn't eaten much, just had water & ginger ale I tried throwing up into a towel instead of the toilet - less noisy that way. Because I was crouched kneeling on the floor, I think it pushed on my tummy, and a lot more came out, more quickly, and I didn't need my fingers after it started to come up; I would just lean over and it kind of poured out. That time, it really helped the nausea right away.


When I brushed my teeth and came out of the bathroom, I said something to dh about throwing up and he said - "I thought it was your worst fear?" and I was like, yes, but it still sometimes happens... he can be so clueless. Like, where have you been the last two nights while I've been scared & vomiting? It's nice that he gives me so much privacy, but I'd also like a little sympathy

[liriodendron]

Sound like you're cured.

[aguerra29]

Good for you. You faced your fears. You were able to do what most of us can't. You realized that throwing up would make you feel better and you did it. Hat's off to you.

[hollyjean]

wow you were so brave, i cant see myself ever doing that. I know alot of people fear the nausea and not knowing if its going to happen way more than the act itself, but im different, i fear the act itself more than anything, i would tsake nausea, extreme pain etc if i knew i would not v*. Congratulations on facing your fear, you should be so proud of yourself for what you did, time will tell if you truely are cured, i really hope you are!

[vgirl]

I just wish there were some way to know... like a blood test, or something. :-)))


Because I could be a lot braver if I knew I wasn't going to be a mess if I were ever to lose control...and I think this isn't a good way to know if I'm over this phase of my life, bc for me, it's more about keeping control than about not vomiting.


I'd love to hear from anyone w/a similar experience...

[mjewell]

Well were you nervous and panciky at al about it or were you just like whatever? For me that would be the key..to be able to stay calm while feeling sick...then I would know I was over it.

[crimgoddess]

Hi vgirl-


Although now my fear primarily is about other people vomitting around me, I used to be a lot more anxious about me doing it myself. It would happen a fair amount when I was a kid (mostly due to motionsickness)- but there was a period of about 5 or 6 years when I managed NOT to vomit, mostly through sheer will power. Then, one day in highschool I got EXTREMELY drunk and it was inevitable. After it happened, I was all "that was IT?!". I think that time period where I was not sick actually served to heighten my fear, and build up the act of vomitting as being a lot more horrible than it actually was. Don't get me wrong, it's by no means pleasant, but it certainly isn't the end of the world. I still prevent it at every opportunity (drinking water, trying to sleep it out, etc.)- but when I know that it's inevitable, I let it happen.


After making that realization in highschool, I have vomitted a lot more often, and I do get a little panicky before it happens, I can sill make it through. I guess I figure why fight it when your body is trying to evict something for a reason? If my first few attempts at preventing it fail....I just make myself comfortable and wait.


It's pretty funny that I no longer feel myself getting sick (as long as I'm in the comfort of my own home), but still run like a little kid from the boogeyman if I see someone else do it!


*amber*

[vgirl]

Well were you nervous and panciky at al about it or were you just like whatever? For me that would be the key..to be able to stay calm while feeling sick...then I would know I was over it.

Hmm... I was scared while I was lying in bed with a tummyache - like, emet-scared, like "is this a normal amount of saliva?" and "why do I feel all flushed?" and "how will I know when to get to the toilet?"- and then nervous/shaky when I decided to do something about it. But it certainly drove the passive-scaredness away - for the short term at least!


I was not calm at all while feeling nauseous. I mean, I was around dh & kids so I had to act calm, which then pisses me off because he has no clue how brave I'm being. To him, it's like, throw up or not, no biggie. :-(


Beforehand, I was scared that I wouldn't be able to stop it but knew that was silly because it's so hard to make me gag. But then in a crouching position I found it way easier and I did get scared that I wouldn't be able to stop it.


I think a) I'm not "cured" because why would I still be so jittery/shaky about the whole experience ? Yet b) this was definitely the way to go in terms of getting the tummy virus or whatever it was OUT of me as quickly as possible. I usually suffer nausea, stubbornly don't vomit,and after a while have bad diarrhea, like 2-3 days. This was very mild diarrhea, just a few trips and it was over.


I like the idea that I can choose which end gets sick - and that I can choose not to prolong it. I know many MANY people here would choose longer stomach pain plus days of diarrhea... I know this because I have been one for over twenty years. I don't know why this is the week to change all that. :-)


But I think, seeing how matter-of-fact dh has been about his sv (first time he's been sick since we got married 2 years ago - or at least, the first time he's told me about) makes me realize I can act that way, too, even if I don't feel it 100%.


I wonder, saying that now, if he's been sick before and not told me. This time, it was unavoidable, because we were just about to sit down to a meal together and he said, "actually, I think I'm coming down with what [dd] had." I said, "are you throwing up?" and he was like, "well, I was embarrassed to tell you." Maybe he's been embarrassed before and not told me...


But I do wish he was a little more of the "coddling" type and hadn't fallen asleep on the sofa in the middle of all my angst. I suspect he would be if he wasn't so exhausted with the baby & other kids... he's a great husband, all-around. :-)))

[aguerra29]

I think that if you were feeling that bad again that you might start to have the panicky feelings, but once you remembered this week you would be ok with it b/c you konw you can do it. Of course you were panicky, but you were able to make yourself sick. That is something that I don't think many of us on this website could do. I would just about rather die. If you are not completely cured you have definitely come a long way!

[2jo2]

I would have been a wreck when your husband and daughter had it!! My fear is really other people being sick, leading to, I think, me catching it.... but if I feel nauseated or something, I don't panic, I just endure it. It's definately the wondering when it will be over that is the hardest. I am most afraid of that. That and wondering if I will catch it or not. Ugh, I hate this phobia. It's thanksgiving and I should be happy, ecstatic to be going home and seeing my family, but all I can think of is the meal we're going to eat and that I hope no one preparing it has been ill, and that I hope no one feels sick when we're there, because it will be hard to escape. I hate this f***ing phobia. I just want to be happy....[img]smileys/smilies_06.gif[/img]

[samara's on tv]

Sort of Detailed...sorry!





Wow...all I can say is WOW. I mean if I was in your position I would have just waited for the nausea to pass. I would rather have Diarreha for a week then just throw up once and have it be over with. I remember a time when I was sick and I had to go on pennacillian (Sp?) anyway it made me SO NAUSEAOUS. We found out later that I was allergic to it. But I remember just sitting on the couch all curled up watching "Get Smart" and trying SO HARD not to Vomit. The last time I did Vomit it was horrible because it was mostly bile. I didn't MAKE myself throw up it just sort of happened after a few hours of intense nausea. I hope I never throw up again! I remember this one episode of"Everybody Loves Raymond" Where he was making a list of things he wanted to do before he died and one of the things on the list was, "Never Throw Up AGAIN" LoL...maybe Raymond is an Emet too!


~Monica

[stef]

hey vgirl.. a number of months ago i was so hungover and running to the loo to do the deed but nothing ever happened... so i too tried making myself sick... i htikn i chickened out tho and cudnt keep my hand there long enough to gag enough... but i was there wit my best friend and she was so supportive... she had a wet washer ready for me and was saying 'oh my god stef, wots going on!' cos she knows never in my life wud i make myself v* cosim so damn scared!! but thats how nauseous i was... i just wanted to v* and get it out of my system so i wuidnt hav to put up wit the nausea... i hav always wondered if i had v* whether i wud be cured of my emet?? that the fact that i was taking control of it wud help me... so let us know if u htink u are cured or not, and next time i feel like that im definately giving it another shot!! as hard as it is, i wud do anyhting to get over this phobia<!--
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[vgirl]

Long talk with DH last night/this morning... says he knows all about emet, I think maybe read about it on the Internet when I first mentioned it (when drunk &amp; scared of vomiting) many years ago.


Realized a few things. I thought I had this thing bc of a time I was sick in public at camp and I think that's maybe part of it but also my mother used to throw up a lot, very noisily, when I was a young child. She has stomach problems, so whatever, but I think it must have been really scary. Never thought about it before as a possible reason why a) I don't want to throw up and b) don't want anyone to ever hear or see me do it.


Also, he was getting his supper after the kids went to bed and there was Chinese takeaway from last week in the fridge and we were trying to figure out when we'd had Chinese... and realized it was Wednesday. I have always had a strict 6-day rule for leftovers of any kind; it sits for a week and it's history.He's a little more flexible, and will even eat certain "well-preserved" things into the eighth or even tenth day if there is no sign of decay. Then again, I once caught him eating an orange that I swear I could smell alcohol coming off of it was so past its prime.


So I have never thought about this leftover thing, and I think it is an emet thing, being scared of getting sick from bad food. I realize six days is longer than many emets would give it - the truth is, though, I myself rarely eat anything once it's gone into the fridge. Like only things that cannot possibly spoil in a day or two... like a dessert. :-)


He's happy to take leftover chicken etcfor his lunches, so it's rarely an issue... but if I'm serving him or the kids, 6 days is my limit. I will also eat it within the 6 days if I'm "re-cooking" it into something else - like a chicken pot pie. Guess that feels a bit safer because it's at least getting not just fully reheated but simmered for a while.


I always thought six days was just common sense. But he's always thought I was a little extreme... I guess just another part of this little emet thing, which is thankfully rarely in the foreground these days. (just today because it's so recently come up, so to speak)


Thanks for listening, everybody.

[vgirl]

DH also assured me that he doesn't think I'm disgusting for vomiting and we cuddled for a while and he said even though I still feel sick, it'll be over soon. I finally asked him to hold me and rub my tummy - man = don't be too subtle - and it helped calm me down when he did.


He also promised me he hadn't heard anything when I was sick, which is doubtful, as the master bathroom is so close to the bed where he was lying. He kind of paused before he said it. :-) But I had the shower running, so I dunno. I just want to be sure the kids didn't hear, but I think they were well asleep.


He said when he threw up this week it just felt GOOD- like a relief to get the pain out. I told him he was the freak, not me- that helped lighten things a bit. :-)


I have never been this open with him... but I feel so scared &amp; vulnerable this week and I guess that's what this "in sickness &amp; health" bit of our marriage is all about, opening up and not being scared to talk about stuff.


P.S. I also realized I'm not angry at him for giving me this bug (which is still lingering), which is weird because even if I catch a cold I always kind of resent the person I caught it from. :-)

[hollyjean]

wow i cant believe what you said about left overs. 6 days is way too long im my opinion. I have a done a course in food hygiene and worked in kitchens and theres a pretty strict rule that most things can only be kept for 3 days, this applys to left overs or opened packets.

[vgirl]

Well, like I said, I rarely eat leftovers and my limit is probably more like a day or two, and mostly for desserts or things with lots of sugar that can't possibly spoil. After that, most sweets get stale anyway. :-)


To dh, and many guys, I suspect it's probably "worth" the occasional bout of upset tummy to have all that extra food (ie things older than two days) at his disposal. He just deals with it as part of life and moves on to the next leftover. :-)))


They know the risk is there - in the background - but the food still tastes yummy, and 99 times out of 100, they're fine. For me, I don't think"risk" explicitly, but I think that's a big part of my aversion to less-than-fresh anything.


That, and I'm spoiled! I won't eat bread that's over 24 hours old, but just cuz if it's GOOD bread, it has no preservatives and goes stale, and if it's yucky supermarket bread with preservatives, I won't enjoy eating it anyway.


DH once got sick long ago from bad raw baby octopus sushi... don't even get me started on that. Last week, we were out and they brought me a raw salmon handroll instead of the thoroughly grilled one I had ordered, and everybody said, eat it, and I was like... umm... no. The waiter offered it to the other people at the table because the kitchen couldn't take it back, obviously, and dh took it, along with his raw tuna one. And he was fine, of course.


Writing this now, I think how mild my emet has become, since I know many probably wouldn't go in the door of a place serving sushi. Or even maybe write the word sushi, since it's so closely connected with the possibility of contamination. I think since I had kids, I kind of got so busy just getting on with life...


anyway, thanks all for listening.

[swiftette]

Wow, I would have been so traumatized-I could neverMAKE myself vomit. I'd rather suffer it out and have pain and diarreha(sp?). I'm sorta traumatized just reading that-no offense intended, but it scares me so much even toTHINK about doing something like that!I often have had to calm myself down by thinking-if IT happens, I'll have to just deal with it moment to moment but I could never just make myself be sick-you're very brave. I'd say you're normal. "Normal" people don't like being sick and mabey they get afraid when it gets right down to the moment but canmake themselves sick if need be-but I would'nt say you're an emet.

[donna1216]

There's no way I could do that!! I'm with Monica, I'd rather have diarrhea for a week than v once and be done!!!


Although, I did take a few too many painkillers a couple of years ago w/ a bad tooth and I did sort of want to v, but all I did was retch. And coincidentally, Logan was sick that same night, we were retching together!!!

[angel13]

Wow, I would have been so traumatized-I could neverMAKE myself vomit. I'd rather suffer it out and have pain and diarreha(sp?). I'm sorta traumatized just reading that-no offense intended, but it scares me so much even toTHINK about doing something like that!I often have had to calm myself down by thinking-if IT happens, I'll have to just deal with it moment to moment but I could never just make myself be sick-you're very brave. I'd say you're normal. "Normal" people don't like being sick and mabey they get afraid when it gets right down to the moment but canmake themselves sick if need be-but I would'nt say you're an emet.

Totally agree, I feel exactly the same. I am so amazed that you would do something like that! I mean, in a good way - seriously!! That must have taken all your courage to actually decide that you were going to do it. But you're right - deciding to do it is no doubt the better way to go, for an emet, rather than being forced to do it.


I don't think I could make myself do it, I'm just not brave enough!


I think you're cured!