Yay! Another panic attack!

[kaiilyn_23]

Posted yesterday during a major panic attack, and now I'm about to have another. Always fun! I'm at home this time, so I'm not feeling as bad. However the panic is still bad. I have that awful gagging sensation/throat nausea, and my stomach feels very bloated. I ate an entire box of Kraft Dinner (no shame...) so I'm 99% sure that's why. I use lactose free milk and vegan butter, but there's still crap in the powder. But that was almost three hours ago now. I, again, feel like I'm on the verge of a panic attack.

I just am so sick of being convinced I'm coming down with a bug every time I feel like crap. I'm sick of fearing it and anticipating it. I just want to not think about it, and have it hit without even knowing, if it were to happen.

The worst part is that I know I can handle v*ing, as I've done it twice now this year. Both times were fine. The buildup? It sucks, but when it happens, you can't really think about it too much. It was over quickly. But I'm still so terrified of catching a bug, feeling like that for x amount of hours. And I keep associating every odd feeling with the last times I v*d. Like I remember having this bad throat nausea all day before I v*d in October, but I also had strep throat, and had eaten poorly. I was also of course anxious because I felt sick. It was definitely more intense than how I'm feeling now though. I remember that n* distinctly.

[kaiilyn_23]

Man I'm feeling bad. It feels like it's going to happen. I feel like I have to have d* now and I'm freaking terrified that this is it, this is a bug now. I'm scared to go to the bathroom as I'm home alone. If my mom were here at least I'd have some support. This gagging feeling is not feeling any better and my stomach is just bloated/crampy. I'm sure as always I'm working myself up but I hate this so much.

[kaiilyn_23]

Was feeling a lot better for about 7 minutes and now it's back. The throat nausea disappeared and it's returned, and my stomach just feels weird and bloated. Just want this to pass

[kaiilyn_23]

Sorry for the incessant posting, but question... if you have a bug, is the stomach pain/nausea constant? Like it won't just go away for a bit, then come back?

[HEH18]

Honestly, it really sounds like the KD to me. Esp cuz you ate a whole box (YUM at the moment though lol). I think it's indigestion, that all sounds like the normal indigestion reaction to me. Usually what helps is burping, to be honest.. helps the bloating and that gaggy feeling (which for me, is usually stomach so full of air and all bloated, etc).

[HEH18]

Also, if you're lactose intolerant KD still has the dairy in it, and for me, for some reason, lactose free milk still causes the dairy intolerance reactions. So there could be a good measure of lactose intolerance thrown in there causing all this. Don't fight it if you have to poo- it'll help it all get out and over with. My lactose intolerance causes diarrhea and I always feel WAY better after I've gone!

[mdgirl1977]

ugh Kraft is so good but will really mess you up. I remember eating half s box about 12 years ago and I had to pull my car over to use the bathroom at Barnes and Noble (bookstore) and literally had d for 2 hours. never ate it again. it was the beginning of my true lactose intolerance diagnosis. that will really make you feel sick, esp if you eat a lot.

how is are you now? I've had about 6 panic attacks today, so I feel your pain ��

[Leslie735]

Oh no I'm sorry you feel so bad! I agree it sounds like the kraft for sure. I had my gallbladder out a few years ago and ever since if I eat something that doesn't agree with me I will feel like that until I have d* once I do, I feel loads better!

[CathyDavies]

I feel for you, I had this yesterday. Ate half a box of chocolate cereal and started feeling the same things as you. I was home alone and couldn't shake the panic off. An hour later, I was right at the peak of the panic, gagging throat, n*. What I've learnt though is that if it drops and then comes back, you're dealing with a bad panic attack and nothing more.

When your brain doesn't switch off as you're panicking, it'll only make it worse. Do something to distract your mind, something that requires your brain to actively get involved. I found that just doodling on a sheet of paper really helped. By the time I'd realised I was feeling better, I panicked again because I'd started thinking about it. It's horrible dealing with panic attacks and this phobia side by side, but you will be fine xxx

[Zoopetiz]

Dude... I know that feeling... I have TERRIBLE heartburn like every single night. Not even kidding. And every night I wonder "Is it gonna happen.." If it did, I couldn't wake my mom up cuz she's gotta get up at 5 in the morning for babysit kid! So, no... I'd be alone.. And that scares me :/ OH BUT I have some advise for that throat n* and bloatedness... Okay, so you know how I said I've got bad heartburn? Even when I don't eat. Well, I fill up a glass half full with water. Then put half a teaspoon of baking soda in that and make sure it dissolves and then just chug it. It makes you burp instantly and them afterward you keep burping but at least its not indigestion anymore, right? It helps so much, I wish I'd have known it sooner. First time I took it, I g*ed and started having a panic attack even tho I didn't v* but then I started taking it every day and totally got used to the taste. Only problem is it feels like you're drinking soap. Also it helps with n*sea. Hope it helps, you should really try it. Another thing that helps me is sucking on a peppermint candy.

[kaiilyn_23]

Wow I thought I'd responded - I'm sorry everyone!

Of course I started to feel better later on. I always do this to myself; eat foods that are bad, freak out. My emet is kind of odd as I don't fear food poisoning or random v*. My sole fear is an SV. And no matter how much I think about how there have been literally NO outbreaks in my area in almost a year, and the fact that no one around me is sick, I still am convinced I'm coming down with a bug! It's a bad mix of hypochondria and emet of course, and my anxiety is sky high with work and school.

Good news is I received a call from the intake for therapy today, so I can get that moving. And although my anxiety has still been up there, I haven't been relying on my Ativan despite the fact that I have a full bottle in my purse. I think things are looking better for sure, my common sense is slowly but surely trickling back to me, which probably has something to do with school coming to an end soon.

HEH - Yeah, I'm cutting Kraft out for awhile... despite my vegan butter and lactose-free milk, clearly the "cheese" contents don't agree with me. It's probably partially IBS too!

mdgirl - That's brutal. Panic attacks, anxiety, this phobia... absolute worst. Some days are better than others, but those bad days really know how to make a statement. I remember when I first started having panic attacks, and didn't know what they were... I was about 11/12. And I'd probably have anywhere from 5-8 per day. And that still happens on a bad day, but now it's more like 2-3 a day!

Leslie - Thank you! I did eventually feel better, like we all do!

Cathy - Yeah exactly! I'll always notice that once I distract myself, even if I'm writing a post about feeling sick, the feelings start to subside. Then I think about it, and they come back - true indication of anxiety based n*!

Zoopetiz - Thank you for the tip! I'll try it, but I never burp. No matter how much pop I drink, or food I eat... I've tried to burp, awaited it to happen... nothing. I wish I could as I often feel the sensation of trapped gas in my throat/chest, and I'm sure a good belch would help lol. I love my peppermints, but only in moderation because one night I had too many and my throat was on FIRE. Didn't realize peppermints were a reflux trigger!

[Acacia7]

Hi everyone I just joined this site then! I'm really happy I have actually found a chat site that we can all share our emotions and how we're feeling and get support. How is everyone? And has anyone here actually tried to overcome your fear or face it?? One day I know I will have to im terrified of that day.