Already dreading Christmas

[Gemmaaa94]

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[Bebopy5]

I'm definitely with you!! I really can't stand Christmas and the get togethers with family / friends / co-workers. Usually around Christmas my anxiety becomes its worst and draws out until peak season is over. Even though before Christmas I get a few stressful times but its nothing like when the holidays starting getting closer.

During the whole eating time I generally only eat foods where they have been cooked thoroughly and avoid cold things unless its my moms potato salad because that is like heaven for me and I know my mom has good hygiene skills when it comes to preparing foods.

If I know family members have been sick or are sick I generally avoid them or ask when they will be there so I can avoid them around the time they will be there and come beforehand. Honestly though, I only spend a few hours at my boyfriends family's and a few hours at my family's place and then we go home. I really just don't like Christmas in general so I try to go in and get out as soon as possible. I can see my family any other day of the year. Honestly I'd rather celebrate and enjoy the day off that I have!! (I really don't have many days off with my job) When I was younger and we had family over I would tend to hide in my bedroom. I don't mind visiting with family, but for them to be at our house ALL day was hard for me. Most of my family is crazy and I can't stand them. lol.

Goodness!! People probably think I am such a scrooge! I just think with this phobia and not liking Christmas in general just isn't my favorite time of year. You will get through this Christmas. We are all here to help and support you during your hard times. Feel free to PM if you would like. We can complain about Christmas together!

[andee]

I'm another one who really dislikes Christmas, for a ton of reasons. I hate that it's crammed in your face starting in September! I hate that it's gotten sooo commercialized where people freak out if the stores run out of the latest item...the entire true meaning is lost...but that's for another post!
And yes, the expectation, food, parties, cold weather, memories of you or someone being sick, the bad school memories, and the germs and outbreaks. It's just all too much for me. I definitely dread it!! Every year I feel like I gotta grin and bear it...ugh!

[tiredofitall]

I love Christmas even though I have a terrible childhood memory of coming down with a very bad sv right before Christmas once. The holiday did make me anxious for many years afterward, but I have my own kids now and although they are adults at this point I still love Christmas with them. I love the tree and the lights and the decorations. I even love the parties. I always host Christmas Day at my house too. It's tiring but fun at the same time.

[khernández99]

I dread it too. It gives me anxiety and I remember things that happened in the past. It reminds me winter is going to come soon/arrived.
The mood of Christmas is good, but I don't like the season and anxiety with it.

[Gemmaaa94]

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[Erin80]

For some reason, one of my kids ALWAYS seems to catch the SV just before or just after Christmas or New Years. Seriously, it's like 3 years running now.....and I catch it every time (though I haven't v'd from it). Last year it went through the house and got everyone but my 7 year old. I caught it on Dec 22. I was still recovering on Dec 24, so I didn't want to eat much, etc. It is SO frustrating. I feel myself dreading Christmas this year because of this.

[ChiGal]

People get sick during the holidays because you are all in close contact. But why dread it? Why not make new memories and enjoy the holiday? Just because you (or others) have gotten sick before or during that holiday does not mean you have to fear it.

My son got a terrible stomach bug two days before Christmas one year and was a mess Christmas day, and he doesn't dread it, nor do I (even though I get crazy with anxiety sometimes!). It is not the holiday that causes illness.

Please don't let fear and anxiety get in the way of life...and enjoying it.

[Afdpt]

Although I have a history of flare ups around the holidays I absolutely love Christmas. I try to just focus on the good times and not let my phobia take away the happy memories I could be making and sharing with my family.

Despite what we tend to think with emetophobia - past experiences of getting sick do not indicate future experiences. So, just because you've been sick in the past during the holidays doesn't mean your body will remember that and make itself sick again. Maybe you will and maybe you won't get sick - but that's true of any day out of the year. Changes are you will NOT get sick.

Try to just work really hard on your recovery and anxiety level in the upcoming weeks to make the holidays more enjoyable. Remember, when you're anxious, not eating right, etc your immune system can be decreased so your body can't work optimally to fight pathogens. Try to eat well, exercise, and work on your anxiety level and THAT will help you fight things off even if you're exposed.

Also try to think of it this way - chances are you won't get sick. Maybe you will. but probably not. In one year from now when you think about the 2015 holiday season wouldn't you rather have happy memories? And even if you were sick for Christmas, will it matter in a year? (Or a week for that matter?)

[thecheesecake17]

I'm really sorry you feel this way at the best time of the year(don't worry - I'm a summer person too, its like anxiety takes days off more in the summer) but I think this really is a case of ENJOYING yourself whilst the 7billion others do, cos otherwise you're giving yourself permission to not be/feel OK.

I can totes understand the flashbacks though. It's coming up to my near v* 6th anniversary in December, and that night was one I'll never forget cos it was painfully tedious for HOURS. But along with those memories came the people and family who supported me and how well I did when I was nearly sick. Maybe try and remind yourself of all the good December's you've had, even with your Grandad(I'm sorry about that by the way, that's probs one of the main culprits for your anxiety and stress...) Also if you're that worried about the food, go vegan this year. I tried a nut roast two years ago and liked how I wasn't thinking about the after effects of Turkey and duck. This year will be a struggle as I'm not really into red meat anymore but my family will be worried about my weight if I tell them I'm going vegan. Awks....
Otherwise, tell people you're 'not going overboard' this year on food for 'health reasons' - if you're family ARENT like mine, you can just pick at stuff you fancy without anyone quizzing your behaviour.

Also why don't you get some friends over and do some baking, decorating and just easy fun stuff(we have annual decorating tree/house night which is way too chilled and funny to even think about being Ill) and even if you don't have people over, just do some craft on your own. I lived with 22 students last year and woke up feeling a bit weird so got some candy canes, each with a message to my friends and secretly snuck them on each persons door. Between the sellotape, candy wrapping, writing and the fun of sneaking round peoples rooms, I went to class that day laughing and thinking of how people would react - I.e.-Not much time for fakeEmetaphobia to kick in.

Lastly, realise that Christmas is really a time for loving and peace and good will(I sound like a commercial haha) and don't let this very minor trait we have ruin your opportunity to be happy. Remember, your brain can look at somethin so differently, once you've got the right thought-process and by next year you might not even associate this time with your fears.
If you struggle through December though, we're always gonna be here for ya and I promise you're most likely NOT gonna get sick and IF by some chance you do - I guarantee you'll be over it more sooner rather than later.

#EarlyChristmasMessage haha...

[horsewoman]

Glad to know I'm not the only one!! I feel so guilty because I feel like I pull everyone down. I try though. My little boy is 9 and he loves it! Last year he was in the hospital for 3 days with bad d* right before Christmas. I remember leaving the hospital and seeing the Christmas lights and him crying because his Daddy had to leave and go back to work ( out of state) we got home then I had it.. not nearly as bad though. I know it doesn't mean it'll happen again this year but.. you know how we are. Lol.. Maybe this year will be better, I realize I really need to adjust my thinking about it. Maybe we should really push for eating well to boost immunity so we'll feel better all around.

[courtneykay]

It's weird how we all view things so differently sometimes. For me, Christmas is more of a "safe" time of the year for me. I get a month off of school and being home just makes me feel much more comfortable than living in the dorms. I also get to see my family and for me that's what I love the most about Christmas. Not to mention the delicious food, movies, decorations, etc.

Though it may be hard, perhaps you could try to go out of your way to enjoy Christmas this year. I know it's easier said than done, but why not try to break the streak of anxiety? Maybe instead of just reliving the bad memories it will serve you to make new happy memories.

[thecheesecake17]

I agree Courtney!! There is no small kids in my house and we are usually boxed up in our little house near the fields and its 'safe'....,we usually get colds near new year though but I've accepted that haha

[gingerness92]

I totally feel the same, I just can't seem to get sv* off my mind and I always think to myself 'it's definitely going to happen, but when' every time I feel a hint of n* I start to panic a little and have to distract myself. I love christmas so I try to distract myself with christmas related things. Travel is always one of my biggest problems, and I have to travel a lot around christmas to see the family so it's always hit or miss for me in terms of anxiety.

In short, I really relate to how you're feeling. The best thing to do is to find distractions and remember that christmas is the best time of the year to enjoy time with your family, it's my favourite/least favourite time of the year seriously!

[kam142]

I shouldn't be posting this as I was at Thrive tonight and promised her I would try to find a positive for everything, but I got into the whole xmas thing with my mum when I got home and it's really upset me.

I struggle with xmas so badly. Not so much with emet stuff (although obviously that's a worry too!) but so many other things. Xmas just makes me sad and lonely and guilty. It makes me reflect on how much time I've wasted and how I've missed out on so much. It makes me stressed about money and really if you're a skint, lonely atheist with a history of alcohol issues it's pretty tough to find something to buy into.

It's always difficult cos my mum's quite religious and loves xmas so I'm torn between being fed up of pretending to be happy and feeling guilty that I'm spoiling it for her. I know it's about family but my sister's travelling this year and my dad's Parkinson's is pretty bad so it's going to be kinda quiet and subdued anyways.

I seriously need to try to take a different attitude to it all but it's not easy! Also my mum keeps asking me if I had my own family or house would I like it more which makes me feel even worse because I'm single, too old to have kids and can't afford my own place so it kinda just highlights all the crappy things more.

Ugh I sound like a selfish cow! Will have to man up!

[thecheesecake17]

Kam you're not selfish at all! You're just struggling with the idea of things getting worse - you have both your parents to spend time with, I know your dad has Parkinson's but at least you can put a smile on his face by being there , I'm sure he needs the company so much right now...

Subdued Christmases are the best, my mum has turned into a Grinch this year and has said 'Forget it. No presents for anyone but us four this year. Stressful, expensive and no one cares.' That scares me, I always enjoyed Christmas shopping with her but I think it's so costly now so were probs just gonna get all our stuff from Poundland and Primark haha.

There's no need for any pressure on having the perfect Christmas anyway, I went to a parade last night in my town and it was pretty depressing, not only were we scared to hear about some terrorist attack coming upon us(cos let's be honest, the Uk is at risk now) but everyone was stood there getting irritated with eachother, overpriced Christmas markets and even the kids seemed confused about what Christmas is about...I'm sure it wasn't like that back in 2002 when I was a kid. It seemed to be about good fun times driving around listening to Christmas music...I'm having a moment haha....but honestly as corny as it sounds, its a time to really have a good laugh with the family and to 'kick back' before next year. We might aswell enjoy it while we're still young (:

Also, Christmas tree Crispy cakes. I really wish I could share them with you guys when I make my next batch (: