I want to apologize for the amount of posts I've written those past few weeks ... But I really find help and support here so ...
I can't relax. I've realized today that the only hours of the day I'm not anxious are those when I sleep. When I actually can, because I wake up at least 30min before my alarm clock every morning with a knot in my stomach.
I used to think " if you wake up feeling ok, you'll be all day" . So I was checking on myself quickly. No n* ? No stomach pains? Ok, you'll be fine. And I wasn't anxious the rest of the day.
But lately (for the past few months to be precise), I have been feeling anxious ALL DAY. I wake up feeling anxious so obviously, my stomach isn't ok. That leads to anxiety because : " Maybe my stomach isn't upset because of anxiety, maybe I am actually sick". Then I go to work. When I am busy, I'm ok because I don't have time to think about it, but when I am not all I can think about is " Am I ok ? Am I gonna be sick? ". I don't have a breakfast and I usually get really hungry around 10am and when I am not, I freak out. " I am not hungry, oh my god, I am sick!". Writing this I realize how stupid it sounds, but I can't help it. 99% of my n* are caused by anxiety. I overanalyse myself all the time, being on the lookout for any sign of n* ... Then I finally come home and the anxiety disappears. Not because I don't think about it, but I'm just too tired to be anxious. It feels like my brain can't take it anymore.

I'm trying to find ways to relax, I try to overcome my fear, I try to follow every single advide you guys give me but I feel like I'm not strong enough to get rid of this stupid phobia ...

If you want to share your story, or anything else, I'll be reading your replies . I'm glad I found this website because I don't feel like I'm weird, or even crazy, anymore. This is a real thing, really hard to deal with and it feels good knowing you're not alone.

x