First off, I am so happy to have found this site. I had no idea what was wrong with me and never would have imagined that it was happening to other people. Now I realize I have emetophobia.


I am 21 years old and am the single mom of a 2 year old boy. We live with my parents now since I'm still in college. Ever since my son was born I have had this fear and it is getting progressivley worse. When my son was about a week old, I had a bad reaction to a birth control injection I had taken for the first time a couple days earlier. Nausea, diarrhea, abdominal cramps, depression, and anxiety. When I had to take care of my son on my own in this condition, I was so scared that I would be too sick to do anything for him. For the past two years, the fear of getting a stomach bug has controlled my life. If I get anything else...a cold, anything...I can deal with it better and know I can take care of him. But if it's throwing up and diarrhea, I get so paralyzed with fear that I have to tell my parents to take care of him. All I can do when I feel like that is sleep and cry. I feel like a failure as a mother...that no matter how sick I am I should be taking care of him. I see mothers do that all the time, but I'm too scared to even be strong for my son.


Here's how it starts. I'll feel a little stomachache or even a twinge that's nothing like an ache, and I won't eat for a day because I'm afraid of throwing it back up or getting diarrhea. Or I'll hear someone say they're sick, and then not eat. There isn't a day that's gone by in the last 2 years that I haven't thought about being sick. I'm terrified. Now I've been told by a doctor that this constant fear is CAUSING me to get sick more often. I've had so many cases of nausea/diarrhea this year BECAUSE I was scared of it. I have panic attacks a lot because I'm constantly fearing getting sick. Last night I had one and finally talked to my mother about it. She told me I need medication but I don't think she understands the fear and she thinks its stupid. I really don't want to go on meds. I want to fix it permanently in my head.


I'm afraid to eat in restaurants. I'm afraid to handle raw meat. I'm afraid to touch anything in a public place. I'm afraid of my son's daycare. I'm afraid of my own son's germs.I'm afraid of the night time because I always get sick at night when I have a virus. All of these things make me think about being sick. I'm afraid to travel because I had a panic attack in a hotel once and became nauseous. Now whenever I travel I flip out and get nauseous again. I'm afraid of sick people and don't want them around, even if it's family. I just finished a microbiology course where we grew live bacteria, and it was so scary but fascinating at the same time. I learned a lot about what can make you sick and what can't. Turns out I'm a lot more paranoid than I should be. Anyway, I'm anxious about it all the time, but when I'm really sick I get very depressed too. Last night I had stomach cramps and just knew I was sick, and I cried to my mom all night. But I was fine. Sometimes I get so scared I get in bed with my mom. I'm 21 and have a child, and I'm so scared that I sleep with my mom when I have a stomach virus.


I currently take Phenergan when I'm sick or feel nauseous because of a panic attack. It helps put me to sleep too during an attack. I always have it with me. I have to find somthing to help me with this fear because it has taken over my life and its affecting my ability to parent. My son deserves a mother who will do anything for him. Before I had him, I was so strong. I wasn't afraid of anything. This post sounds so depressing...most of the time I'm just anxious, but happy and functioning. But today is a bad day since I had that attack last night. I guess it was the last straw and that's why I found this site.