So, for those who don't know me yet (I have been posting a lot lately so you might know me lol), I work in a primary school as an administrative assistant.
Tomorrow, my colleagues (the teachers mainly) reunites at noon to have lunch together before the Holidays. My boss asked me to join them of course, but I made something up to decline. They order pizzas. That's my problem: I certainly have not enough appetite to eat a full pizza (they don't make children size pizzas and I would've been so ashamed to order one anyway) and I know for a certain that I wouldn't be hungry at lunch time because I would be terrified. So I visualized myself at the table, eating small bites of pizzas at a time because I couldn't even swallow ... Then, I would be terrified of the "after". I would be like "Ok, let's eat that pizza but what if it makes me feel bad? What if it's too much? ". I would have to take the bus home as I don't work Thursdays afternoon and I know that I would be anxious on the way home.

I feel so ashamed because I really love my coworkers, I do and I would have been happy to have lunch with me, but this stupid phobia won once again ... I could cry right now.

(Don't know if what I explained makes sense ... )