So, last December I posted about these HORRIBLE panic attacks I was getting. They were so bad they were causing severe facial pain (which my doctor said was most likely because of me grinding my teeth HARD during these panic attacks). I decided to move into the spare room to see if a new environment would help, and it really did! The only way to stop these panic attacks were to take a certain pill of mine and get sleepy - problem was that my pills weren't working too well and it would take A LOT to work. Once I moved to the spare room my pills started working again and the panic attacks died down immensely until they finally went away.
For about two weeks.
Out of NOWHERE, they suddenly came back, and were as severe as they had been before, right up to the severe facial pain and how I needed to take many pills for them to kick in. The first one I took was so back I broke one of my front teeth in half from the grinding. The pain is even worse than before - the last few times it happened it made me cry.
Now these panic attacks happen almost every day. I know they'll happen because in the morning I'll feel incredibly anxious and on edge. Thankfully the last few times I've experienced it I didn't get the facial pain, but I still need to take more pills than I should....problem there being I'm supposed to take a set amount of pills a day and if I go to the pharmacy to get a refill too soon, they won't give me my pills. I'm terrified of that happening because I'll have nothing to stop them then. Today I was supposed to go to the doctor to see if he could recommend any sleeping pills...and I couldn't do it. I felt like I was going to have one of those panic attacks at any second and now I'm screwed again with my pills. I hate myself so much for letting this win and letting it come back. I'm terrified every day if it'll be one of the attacks with the face pain or the horrible grinding. I don't want to break any more teeth.
I just needed to vent. I'm feeling so horrible and wish I could just sleep forever.