Is your fear of v* worse/more common at night?

[freakineagle]

Hi folks, newbie here,
Not sure whether to say I'm "fully" emetophobic, my fear doesn't really interfere with my daily life, but it does take the reins when I do feel slightly/potentially ill, and makes it WAY worse.


Does anyone identify with these symptoms? - (not tryna be graphic but probably still triggering, if you're that way)
Maybe dinner doesn't agree with me, and I feel just sort of.. malaise, tummy maybe a tiny bit off. First response: "Uh oh, am I going to vomit?! No, probably not. BUT WHAT IF??" Then comes a headache and mild-moderate diarrhea (not sure if legit or just anxiety). I take a shot of Pepto and a melatonin pill so I'll be out asap (I'd knock myself out with a big mallet like in cartoons if I could). In between trips to the bathroom, I lay in bed and ride out sweaty chills with tremors that come in waves and shake my whole body. Distraction helps a little, but I'm in too much distress to really focus on anything. Probably lasts up to a few hours or whenever the sleeping pill kicks in. I almost never really throw up, and am aware throughout that most/all of this is a false alarm, but that doesn't curb it.


The thing is, I get this 99% of the time at bedtime. My fear is, more than act itself (which is gross but brief), of the surrounding nausea and feelings of despair/terror/isolation preventing me from sleeping. Something about being kept up by nausea at night, alone, is terrifying, but I don't know exactly what because logically it's not THAT bad. (And I know my parents are right there if I needed to wake them, so I'm not truly isolated.) I start thinking about how terrible it would be to feel like this for a long time, people with serious illnesses/without access to any help, etc.

By comparison I've been legitimately ill at noon with no anxiety preceding the act.
Is that a part of it for anybody?

[SophieFoxman]

I'm the exact same way! For some odd reason, even if I'm feeling n* in the day time, it won't bother me as much. Yes, the thought of v* still comes to mind, but not as obsessively as when it occurs during the night.

I think for me it's because the two times I've ever v* in my entire life was always at night. It's very scarring to look back at those moments. More recently, I've been very, very n* every single night to the point of pacing around the living room with my hair tied up, paper bag in hand, preparing myself for the worst. I always get these really bad panic attacks where I'm uncontrollably shaking, and feel like I'll eventually pass out.

It's been like this for the past two months until I stopped eating at 2 PM. I have a passion for food, but since I'm a dental student, I've been putting all my focus into my study and I won't eat after 2, which has helped me a tremendous amount. I really don't recommend this for anyone because, well, it's just unhealthy, but it's the only way I can get some decent sleep at night without waking up in the middle of the night n*, wishing for death over v*.

But here's reassurance for you... In the night, when you're feeling the repercussions of n*, the anxiety, sweating, terror etc., you should know that it's most likely due to anxiety, and not because there's something wrong with your stomach. It usually makes me feel 1,000 times better. If you're able to play a game on your phone, or watch your favorite T.V. show and it takes away the n* even for a short period of time, it just means that it's in your head. You should end the night with some ginger tea, hot bath, and aromatherapy. Tea tree oil or rosemary oil helps me a lot. I also like to compare the severity of my n*. If I've felt way worse before but still didn't v*, I'll tell myself that I can endure through it this time, too. I hope you don't have to feel this way anymore. Best wishes!

Sophie

[thecheesecake17]

I'm the same too except yours seems to be a routine and I'm thinking maybe if you quit taking the sleeping thing and pepto, you can really see if there's a problem. I have been having that malaise feeling for a few days at random times and keep reaching out for my hero-remedy(which is chewing half a piece of mint gum) but I tell myself 'first of all. Breathe. Let your food digest!' Most times it works but I still get an awkward feeling inside of me which I'm sick of, as I love food, but other times like this week, whether it's stress related or cos I've shoved a heck of spicy food down my throat' , its been a tedious n*/throat n* which just won't shift.

I suggest you try and take NOTHING for a few days and do an experiment on yourself. Someone on here told me about keeping a food journal but with a twist - they told me to write down not only what time and what food they ate eating, but how they are feeling when eating. Weirdly when I started the journal I actually felt OK and wrote 'calm.' 'Very calm' etc... But it did change after that as I got horribly stressed with university issues.

Anyway! About the night-thing....ah yes. It's annoying and SCARY but sleep is essential, I've been falling asleep to this guy who makes really pretty sushi. This kinda makes me realise that I'm never really n* (as it makes me hungry haah) and its so peaceful and monotonous....plus my housemate will watch it with me until we get sleepy. Then if I'm still on-edge(usually about emet) I'll stick Friends on.. There's been times where my emet has lead to what you were describing, the sweating and panicking etc but I always know, whether I'm actually sick or not, that it will pass eventually. The only thing I get scared of now is if OTHERS in the house get s*...but I've been practising being 'ok' with it and telling myself "Uuummm maybe they just ate something out of date, no big deal!" I also try and associate v* with the throat and coughing as it makes me relax more thinking of it that way ... I also tell people I'm scared of v* cos I'm scared of choking haha, I'm halfway to believing myself with that one...

Ps- I'm with you on how n* is even more terrifying than v*. I think the reason why people don't get it is cos they're not like us and feel it 98% of our lives. It sucks. My dad got a bug in September and said "woah, now I know what women go through in pregnancy and my gosh, its the worst thing ever isn't it!" ..I'm also terrified of persistent n* and sometimes feel like I'm gona have it seeing as I'm only 23 and have sporadic but short lived n* at various times. Ugh. Kill me. Anyway hope this helped!

[Juni]

I'm exactly the same and my fear is definitely more prevalent during the night. I really don't know why this is but I know that it's actually quite common. Most nights, I force myself to stay up until a certain hour because for some reason, I believe that if I do this, then I can prevent myself from getting sick. One of the biggest anxieties I have that co-exist with this fear is waking up in the middle of the night and being ill. I'm not sure, maybe I think that if I'm awake and alert, I can prevent anything. I still get anxiety during the day, sometimes just as bad, but it's usually more manageable (and convenient, as I don't have to worry about sleeping or waking anyone up if my anxiety gets too severe).