Hello All-
I am sitting here ready to cry at any moment. I have suffered from emetophobia since I can remember and I am 37 years old. I have only told a select few people about this and the reason I have only told a select few is because they have always responded with the whole....it's no big deal and don't make a big deal about it. I have been in tears over this more times than I can count. I have two kiddos and love them more than anything. This is so draining and exhausting though because ALMOST ALL I ever think about is....are they going to V today? Am I going to V today? Is someone else going to V today. Sorry...I hope I am getting the lingo right and none of this is TMI. While this has been prevalent in my life for as long as I can remember it got increasingly worse when I started having panic attacks. I was in graduate school and working one day, as a waitress in a sports bar, and out of no where I was panic stricken. My boss took me to the hospital with a bucket in my lap. It's been since then that this has taken over my life....
After dinner tonight my husband runs past me to get to the bathroom and tells me he is S. I was 100 questioning him. Are you going to V? Are you sure you aren't going to V? After awhile he said it was just D and then proceeds to stuff his face with some junk. I am over here panicking and wondering what in the heck I am going to do if he starts to V. This has just overtaken my life and I don't know what to do from here. I feel fortunate that I found this group last night. I have been doing a bit of exploring on the site and hope that some day I can overcome this.
I feel for all of you as this has been an awful experience for me. I don't really have any hope that this will get better for me. It's so exhausting :-(