New here and scared about a dental appt

[abby89]

I am so glad to have found this forum. It is really incredible to "know" others with this hideous phobia.


I am so terrified right now, and I need some help and support. It's a long story, but here goes. This isn't graphic at all, so don't worry.


The past several years, my emet has gotten horrible (it first developed when I was 5 or 6 and was mild or "dorment" till I was 11 or 12- I'm almost 17 now), and I've started fearing trips to the dentist more and more as the phobia gets worse.


My dentist requires that you visit his office for teeth cleaning and examination every 6 months. The last time I went, they had to examine me for wisdom teeth (I don't have any- thank heavens), so they gave me a ton of x-rays.


The dental hygienist I got was AWFUL. I am very small in stature and general body size, and she gave me the biggest sizeof dentalx-rays (the little plastic things they insert at the very back of your mouth) and they made me gag horribly and scared me to death. I didn't v*, but I think I came close. She saw I was in distress and put some numbing stuff in my mouth which supposedly dulled the gag reflex, and gave me smaller x-rays, but in any case, now I am terrified of dental procedures because I fear I will v*.


I had to have my first cavity drilled recently and I was tense and scared because he put a plastic thing in my mouth that held it opened while he drilled, and the dentist scolded me for not opening my mouth wide enough and being childish. I have another cavity now, and another cleaning scheduled for January 9th (and may have to have x-rays AGAIN). Switching dentists or postponing appointments really aren't options.


I feel so immature and weak because of this phobia. I hate telling people that I'm suffering, because I think they'll treat me like I'm insane then. I'm in such a panic about this right now since the next appointment is less than 10 days away.


What I fear most is that I am now so panicked about having things in my mouth and v*ing that no matter what they do, I'll gag anyway. My mother said she'd tell the dentist about my phobia, but that makes me feel even more childish and stupid because they'll give me special treatment. My anxiety has been really low for the last six months or so, but now I am in total panic mode and hate feeling like this over something so minor and silly. I know I'm overreacting- it is just a regular procedure. Ugggggh.


Finally, can anyone reccommend an over the counter anti-emetic that doesn't cause drowsiness? I think it would put my mind at ease to take something before my appointment so I knew that I physically could not v*, but I've never taken anti-emetics before and am nervous about their side effects and how I would handle them.


Edited by: abby89

[crimgoddess]

technically, there is no drug that makes it physically impossible to vomit. I have tried many different types to deal with motionsickness, and have managed to vomit on every one of them at one point or another. Also, even if one doctor says that it will make it physically impossible to vomit with- another will refute that claim.


I would definitely tell the dentist- they should be relatively educated to the fact that phobias can be pretty severe. Or if you are not comfortable with this dentist, fine another one. You say it's not an option- but can you cancel the appointment and make it an option? I changed mine when I didn't like their attitude and found someone else that I am very happy with. I figure that if they are going to be drilling in my mouth, I should be able to trust them, and they should be able to treat me with respect.


Ihave to get a lot of dental work done (because my teeth are very prone to cavities- even though I brush and floss)- and don't have any problems with vomitting while in the chair (except once with fluoride- but thats a completely different story). I would say that if you are gagging, and they havent been able to fix this (using smaller equipment, proceeding more slowly, etc.) then they arent doing their job properly. I have very sensitive gums, and if I say something hurts, they will adjust themselves so it hurts less, or change the type of equipment they are using.


Good luck,


*amber*

[abby89]

Thanks for the advice, Amber- I really appreciate it.


I wasn't sure if there was a drug that totally prevented v*ing or not, I just knew that anti-emetics existed and a lot of emets have some type of success with them.


I really don't think finding another dentist is an option for several reasons. I live in a fairly small town and there aren't more than 5 dentists in my area. I've been to about 3 of them- the last two were even moretactless andbadthan this guy. I guess I could try to find another, but I'm not sure if they would accept our type of insurance, etc.


The other reason is my mother. I'm under 18, and she controls where I go to get medical attention of any kind. She has no comprehension of emet and has been really unsupportive and nasty about this whole ordeal and insists that this dentist is perfectly fine. It's another reason why I don't have much faith about her "talking" to them before the appt.


I suppose what I will do is try to convey my fear to the dentist and hygienist myself and hope that they will try and find some way to make me more comfortable. I agree, with all the hype about fearing dentist visits, they should understand phobic thinking.

[suze]

I really feel for you Abby. I too hate going to the dentist. I used to be fine until one day a dentist was doing some drilling and bits of whatever were flying off were dropping down the back of my throat. I wanted to sit up but he wouldn't let me. I eventually gagged, and was allowed to sit up then, but it has left me shaken and nervous ever since.


I have not told my dentist of my emet, but I have said that sitting in the chair and feeling trapped drives me into panic mode. Even putting things in my mouth, like clamps and cotton wool pads etc will make the panic rise. I ask him to work quickly and if I say I need to sit up, then he has to let me.


I don't think you should be worried about letting your mum tell the dentist of your problem - he may be completely different if he knows. I have a friend who's a dentist and she's very used to having to calm people down and work in a way which doesn't frighten them or make them feel uncomfortable - I'm sure a fear of dentists is as common as being an emet!


Be honest with the dentist and give him a chance. If he's unsympathetic, take your teeth and your money elsewhere!


Good luck!

[abby89]

Thanks Suze- yes, I hate that "trapped" feeling too! Even before emet was a huge issue for me at the dentist's, I hated that weird sensation when you are in the chair and they squirt the water in your mouth and it feels like you're drowning...ewwww.


I was SO nervous when I had the 1st cavity drilled because I knew they would put cotton pads in my mouth- another ickygag inducing sensation for me. I couldn't feelthem in my mouth due to the novocaine and it was bliss, so having the 2nd cavity drilled won't scare me as much.

[ontariogirl]

I feared the dentist only because of this phobia. Thinking that I might start to feel sick and bolt out of there even if he was in the middle of doing his work. I was 39 at the time and needed work done, I was going on antibiodics on and off for almost a year which isn't good either. I went through the phone book looking for dentists. I saw one that caught my eye. I typed out who I am and that I have this phobia and it brings on anxiety attacks, I need a dentist who acknowledges this and may have to treat me like a china doll. I faxed my letter to the office and got a phone call from them that afternoon. The secretary there knows me and suggested to see one of the dentists at the office. She said he is gentle. I went in and had the xray done. They made an appt for me to have 3 of those teeth fixed. I have a cool Nurse Practitioner that I see because of the phobia and she was going to take me to the dentist. I was very nervous. We went there and she sat in the other chair chatting it up with the dentist and told him that I can't stand the smell of latex (gloves) he said he doesn't use them. She told him that I don't like having the rubber thing in my mouth called a tent and he said he won't do that. I was shaking so bad that they covered me with a blanket and then he frozed me and worked on me. The xrays that they used was for a child so I wouldn't gag on it! Janie my NP left for another appt and my father picked me up. I was fine, fine until I came home to see that my son was sitting there with my neighbor with a ice pack on his wrist. The worse thing about that day? Spending hours at the hospital with my son and watching while they put a cast on his wrist!!
You need to feel comfortable in a setting such as the dentist. Tell him what is going on with you. Tell him what makes you uncomfortable, he should help you feel comfortable. If he doesn't than find another dentist who will. I didn't feel like a baby at all. This dentist is a godsend to me. My fear with him is over, I have been back numerous times and I go back for a cavity to be filled and after that a cleaning. Be open and honest to how you feel tell him what makes you anxious and if he is a good dentist, you will have no more second thought of going to the dentist. If you lived here in Ontario I would tell you to go see him.

[itsjustme]

breathe thru your nose--i have had braces and when they did impressions i found it makes you not gag! :-}

[purpleteacher]

No - you tell the dentist straight out about your concerns. I have to do this because I gag easily and I get really panicy in the office. When I say I have to spit, he has to let me or he can deal with the consequences!


Seriously... You need to tell your dentist that you gag easily and that you don't want to be V* all over him or any of his staff, so they need to be careful and respectful of you. They need to tell you what they are doing before they do and it and as they do because that can often calm fears (it places a name with an action and sensation in the mouth).


I have had multiple cavities pulled and even had a huge molar extracted while being wide awake when the pain meds failed... trust me --- they have to listen to you and they have to take you into consideration during the procedure or they will be sorry. I started screaming because I could feel it (this was due to another medical problem impacting my nervous system, so they had to "drug me up" much higher than expected to get the desired results). I told the dentist that I was not going to be swallowing blood and that it was their job to prevent that from happening. I also told them to give me extra gauze pads to take home so I wouldn't run out! I told them I had bad anxiety and that I was nervous about the procedure and that I needed them to go step-by-step with me while they were doing it. Trust me... having a name for the sensations really does help and can put you at ease, despite the discomfort.


Anti-V* stuff won't work for this type of thing because nausea doesn't always happen in the dentist's chair, unless it is from anxiety. The gagging and V* happens from the procedure and the actions in the procedure, not from nausea (unless the sensations during a procedure induce nausea, which they often can when blood is swallowed).


Sorry if I seem so bold, but this is one fear I had to overcome quickly... I had a bad abscess and no money to get it fixed the right way, so it got pulled. I had to trust a dentist I didn't know and I have always had trouble with the dentist before this point too --- It was horrifying, but my life was on the line and I told the dentist my needs and expected him to remain professional about addressing as many of those needs as possible while removing the potentially life threatening infection from my head.

[sage]

A lot of emets (AND many other people) fear dentists - for some its pain, for others, gagging. Even though I consider myself completely cured of emetophobia, I am still nervous going to a dentist, and so my doctor prescribed Ativan (a tranquilizer) that is also an anti-emetic. The Ativan puts me into total la la land, and I cruise into the dentist, no problem, and have had all sorts of nasty things done. I highly recommend dope for the dentist, as it isn't something you do often, so you can't get addicted to it!


It sounds like you're young, which must make you feel quite out of control. I understand this, and have been there. I also understand your shame. You may find it less shameful if you talk to the dentist and hygenist yourself, rather than your mother doing it. If she does, then you walk in and you're right - they'll treat you differently. Remember that this phobia is nothing to be ashamed of, and it is NOT a sign of weakness. Far weaker the person who refuses to understand it, or judges another human being!


It's just a disorder like anything else. If you had a big cut on your lip they'd be all like "you poor thing" and doing whatever they could to pamper you and keep you comfortable. this is NO DIFFERENT. If you think they're judging you, it's probably your imagination anyway.


And if a dentist "scolds you", well...I'd look for another dentist. But failing that, tell him or her HOW IT MAKES YOU FEEL. EXPLAIN the problem. TALK. COMMUNICATE. This is the only antidote to shame.


In the end, if he's still an ass, then remember that this says way more about him than it does about you. People have phobias - lots of them. It's nothing to be ashamed of. Being an ass, on the other hand, is just something you can fix in a moment, and is a lot more shameful!


Good luck at the dentist!

[chicajojobe]

I went for my first cleaning in 5 years a few weeks ago. (not because of emet, but because for a while I didn't have insurance)



I was worried about gagging too but it went fine. If they do x-rays
again and the thing is too big be proactive and tell them "This is too
big, I need a smaller one."

Don't be afraid to just because you're a minor, it's still your mouth
no matter what age you are. Try your best to relax and cooperate with
the dentist and your mom because they do only want what's best for your
health, but if something is too uncomfortable to stand voice it.

[abby89]

Thanks so much Sage, and everyone else who replied. I love this forum- such great, caring advice [img]smileys/smilies_01.gif[/img]!


It turns out that I DON'T needto have x-rays taken this time (yay) and my appt. got moved to Feb. 1st, so I don't have to worry at all for a while. My mom ended up speaking with the dentist, and it sounds as if they were very nice and understanding about the emet situation. I will talk to them myself about it when I get there, however.


The appointment should be good- they're going to drill the cavity on the same day they clean my teeth so I only have to get stressed out about one appointment.


Once again, thanks for all the advice, I'm feeling better now.

[becca30]

Abby, I just got back from the dentist today for a teeth cleaning, and
I have a lot to say on this subject! I have ALWAYS had a terrible
gag reflex, and each time I start a new dentist (due to moving to
different towns), the first thing I tell the dental hygenist "I have a
terrible gag reflex. Please write this in my chart." Then
she writes it in my chart, and she remembers each time I come in (I
usually remind her anyway, but she says she remembers). Then when
it comes time for them to take the bite-wing x-rays, I talk to them
about my options due to the gag reflex. For the past 15 years
(I'm 30), every dental hygenist I've seen has opted to take the full
mouth x-ray (no gagging problem - very easy - an x-ray machine just
circles around your head). Apparently, this is a pretty intense
x-ray, so I only have it done every year or two. IF the hygenist
insists on the bite-wing x-ray, either refuse (you can refuse, you
know!) or insist on being given some nitrous oxide during the
procedure. I always take nitrous oxide while having fillings
done, and this reduces the gag reflex (I guess because you are so out
of it!). Now, when it comes down to the actual cleaning, work out
a strategy with the hygenist. If you feel yourself start to gag,
hold your hand up. When she sees your hand up, she needs to
immediately take the instruments out of your mouth. This has always
worked for me. Bottom line: Don't continue to suffer.
You don't have to tell the denist you have emtophobia if you don't want
to. Just tell them it's a gagging problem that you've had all
your life (they see this ALL the time, trust me - the hygenist was
telling me so today). And if your dentist doesn't understand, go
to a different dentist. I've had wonderful experiences with very
understanding dentists and dental hygenists, and I know that you can,
too.