I am such a freak...

[spilled_milk]

...because I'm afraid of my own father.


For me, my phobia is rooted somewhat with my father. I am afraid of myself vomiting and others vomiting, but especially my dad. This might be because he had a lot of liver problems and diseases when I was very little, I don't know. What I'm getting to, however, is that this results in me being slightly edgy around him, not wanting to be alone for long periods of time with him, (more than a day), and being very jumpy when he's sick (like with a cold or something.)


Well my mom is in India for a month, so I'm alone with him. And now he has a cold.


I am just so jumpy...so afraid that he might v*, even though my mind knows that this doesn't mean v*. I'm just so freaked out, and I can't talk to my mom cause it's like, 3 AM in India... I don't know how I'm gonna get through this next month, let alone these next few days!


I'm sorry I'm posting so much...I don't usually post this much, I really don't. But this is a really hard time...and i'm just so freaked out!


<3 Anya--

[angel13]

Anya, I kinda know how you feel. I mean, neither of my parents have had problems like that, but sometimes you just get jumpy, and worried for them. Its hard to explain...but if I'm already on edge, and I hear one of my parents get up in the night, I just freak out that they're getting up because they're sick.


The chances of this are always so small that I usually wake up the next morning and laugh about it. Your Dad is ok at the moment, right? I'm sure he'll be absolutely fine, and you'll have nothing to worry about. Like you said,this fearprobably just stems from the problems he had when you were little - maybe its trauma. The past is the past, just remember that.


Sorry, not very good advice, I know (I'm half asleep at the moment!). Don't apologise for posting alot! If you need to get anything off your chest, you know you can always come here Hope you guys go ok together, I'm sure your Dad will be alright.

[suze]

You're not a freak, you just hate v* - like all of us. Don't be so hard on yourself. Your dad is an adult, if he does feel ill, then he is big enough to look after himself, where the v* is concerned anyway. And is there any reason to think he's going to v*? Most v* happens when we're kids/teenagers, it really does lessen drastically the older we get, so the chances of anything happening are low.


Try and keep yourself busy. Can you get out of the house for a while? I'm sure your dad doesn't expect you to stay with him 24/7. Try and live your life as normally as possible. Remember, if your dad is behaving OK and is eating, then there is really nothing wrong. Keep telling yourself that your fears are rooted in the past, like for most of us, and your current situation is safe and harmless.

[hollyjean]

i have the same feelings towards my dad. He has a hiatus hernia and fairly often starts to v* in his sleep. I was never too scared because i thought being an adult he will get to a toilet in time but last year one night i woke to hear him v* extremely loudly. He had v* in his bed, leaving a trail to the bathroom and everywhere in the bathroom, since then i have been terrified! He worked nights most of his life but has been working days for the last few years, however his sleep pattern is still nocturnal. He tends to sleep on the sofa alot, at least once a day, because of this im scared to stay in the living room, in the hallway, anywhere really incase it happens again.


I worry about this everyday, but it has only ever happened once so its not something that is constant as it is in my mind. I know how you feel, but when i sum up all the time i fear it, and the number of times it has happened, i realise im being irrational most of the time.

[spilled_milk]

Thanks!


He's still sick...so he stayed home from work. Today was supposed to be the first day back to school from winter break for me, so i was going to be able to get out of the house...but then they cancelled school for today due to snow!! Which, I suppose i should be happy about, but since its all snowy i can't even get away to go to a friend's house, or have a friend come here. :-( Plus i can't drive yet...half a year!!


I'm going to try to panic less...it's just so weird when it's just me and him in the house, cause i have no siblings. He is eating, so i'm sure that he's fine...


It's just weird, I don't know whether to be very quiet so i can reassure myself that nothing is happening, or to be very loud so that i can't hear anything. Gaaahh...well hopefully it will be basically over after today.


Thanks again you guys! You helped put words into my irrational thinking and give me ideas...thanks!


<3 Anya--

[shiva]

I just wanted to tell you not to feel like a freak. It was actually reassuring to read your post because I have animosity toward my dad, too. When I was a kid he vomited a lot as well. Sometimes even talking to my dad when he is well makes me feel anxious. Just wanted you to know that you are not alone. Hang in there.