My Girlfriend

[violet]

Well yes Im gay incase there is any confusion by this post.


Now I have been with her for nearly 3 months now and I completly opened up to her about this and about how I feel towards being s*


She has supported me once when I felt Very s* and was in the bathroom with me.


I can and do have to have someone with me when I feel unwell I cant deal with it on my own and I feel so weak even saying that.


but no matter how much I talk to her about it I still feel like utter rubbish when I feel ill around her, I mean I tell her nearly every single day that I feel s* because thats how I Feel and I honestly am so worried that I am going to drive her away with how I feel and what I go through.


I love her so much and the relationship has gone very quickly not that we mind but thats off the subject, I just am so worried that all in all this is going to be far to much for her..


xVx

[suze]

If she loves you then she'll cope with this, but it is important for you as well as the relationship to try not to obsess too much about the phobia. You will have good days and bad days, as you know, so on your good days, make sure you focus on her. Relationships are all about give and take, and if you feel you're doing alot of the taking, then it's important that you find time to give a bit too, which I'm sure you do, you just don't realise it.


When my kids had a stomach virus some weeks ago, I couldn't focus on anything for a week, I was a complete wreck. My partner (female too!) was incredibly supportive during that time even though I gave nothing in return. There will be times when your girlfriend needs you, and you'll be there for her, so don't worry about being the needy one at the moment. Relationships are like that, and it's helping each other through the hard times, when things aren't all fun and laughter, that builds a strong and stable relationship.


Read your other posts, hope you're feeling better.

[rayvin400]

My boyfriend has been with me for a year and some odd months...he is my rock..he calms me down if I feel like death...or if my irrational thinking kicks in. With this said...he has no intention of leaving me, but of course I thought I would drive him away. I have even pushed him out the front door multiple times when I felt too sick to be around anyone.


So Im going to have to agree whole heartedly with suze when she said that "if she loves you shell cope with this." I know that if my boyfriend felt sick every day like I do I wouldnt love him less. Only time will tell if she will love you enough to stick by your side. If she is the one, not only will she be there for you through it all, but she will understand and deal with it. Both of you as you are going to find out are going to have fears and doubts and scary times but thats only natural. They seem bad, but they are only going to bring you closer together.Edited by: rayvin400

[violet]

Hey there, Thank you for your support and words on this subject.


I will try my hardest to focus on her when Im having my good days, although today and the past few days havent been so good.


I spent alot of time thinking about it this morning and shes coming back up on the 8th as we have a long distance relationship which is a little hard,but,im going to do something special for her to just say thank you,think she needs it..


need to do something special for you guys as well for all this help..


*hugs*


xVx

[jenny.preston]

Violet,


I also find it difficult to tell my partner when I feel s* and feel weak too when I need her just to even sit and talk through it with me. She says she doesn't mind but it is trying sometimes.I find it the hardest when she gets frustrated with me, even in the slightest because then I feel so silly and embarassed and it makes me feel even worse. I think having a mutual understanding is best and maybe when you feel only a little s* letting her know you don't need her just then but if it gets really bad, then have her sit with you. I have had to judge when I feel really bad and just a little bad because my panic strikes me at night and I was waking her up every night which wasn't fair. Now, when I feel really bad at night I'll wake her to even just play something like 20 questions til it passes but if it's just a little bad, I flick on the T.V in our room and try and deal with it myself by taking my mind off it.


Hope thishelps,


[img]smileys/smilies_04.gif[/img]Jenny

[suze]

I'm the opposite, I like to be alone when I feel bad, which means I have to ask my partner to leave the room, sometimes the house!! She understands, but sometimes I know she feels pushed away, and takes it as if I don't want her there, which isn't true.I'm just not rational when i'm panicing. If it's just general anxiety tho, she's great and talks to me ten to the dozen, asking me questions etc., unitl I've forgotten what I'm worried about! She's also great when I'm out in public and feel the need to run - she just tells me to go, and she'll make the excuses etc. It's hard for her at times, but there'll be diffcult times for her in the future no doubt, and I'll make sure I'm there for her too.