Anxiety getting increasingly worse (again)

[Ansjo]

Hi there. I'm new to this forum and this is my first post here So I've had emetophobia since I was around 4 years old, I'm now 30.

Lately it's been increasingly difficult to be in control of my everyday life. About two months ago my girlfriend got food poisoning while on a trip in Vienna - I didn't get sick though - and to me it was a complete nightmare since I couldn't be sure it wasn't contagious. And ever since everything is spiraling out of control, after years of being able to live a relatively normal life. Now I'm afraid to eat basically everything not cooked at home. I figure that if the food is bad I'll get poisoned within the first 7-8 hours, so I have this countdown every time I eat.

Moreover, my stomach is completely destroyed by all the anxiety. I wake up early in the mornings with diarrhea and cold sweats several times a week, I've got constant hunger pangs even if I've just recently eaten. And if I manage to have a day without an upset stomach, then rest assured that I'll feel an imaginary hair stuck in my throat that won't go away for hours, making me nauseous. I'm always super tense with shaky legs, shallow breathing, nausea etc etc, the classic symptoms.

I am also afraid of eating things that could get stuck in my mouth and make me gag, such as tomato peels, seeds or too much melted cheese. This is also becoming increasingly more difficult to control. I'm seeing a therapist, but at the moment all she makes me do is taking notes when I can't control my anxiety and I can't really see the point of that. A full-blown panic attack is often around the corner and I usually take some diazepam to counter it in advance. Obviously this is not a viable long-term solution.

Do you guys have any suggestions on what I should do?

[kspappas]

Hi Ansjo, and welcome! I don't come on here often but when I do I try to reply to some threads, especially new people. I'm 32 and have had this fear since I was 5, so I can relate. Mine got much worse at the age of 20. I think this phobia in general has a tendency to wax and wane, and can become much worse in adulthood.

The first recommendation I have for you is to consider medication for the anxiety if you are open to that, by first speaking to a doctor. You are describing panic attacks and generalized anxiety, and there are long-term medications that can really help. I'm not talking about tranquilizers, more like SSRI's which work only after taking them for a period of time. I can't tell you how much this helped me when I finally decided to bring up my debilitating anxiety to my doctor (I didn't even tell them about the phobia at first, just the anxiety and depression). I started taking Celexa 20 mg once per day and it really took the edge off, it was a life-saver.

Secondly, you should research any therapists in your area who have experience with treating this phobia. This is not easy to find, as many therapists have not treated it, OR more likely just don't publicize it. If you find any that look promising, I would call and ask them if they actually have heard of or treating this phobia specifically.

Thirdly, I would take a peak at emetophobiahelp.org, which is a website created by a former emetophobic who was successfully recovered after years of suffering and therapy, and is now a therapist herself. She has lots of advice and resources on her website (including a comprehensive around the globe therapists list) that might help you.

I hope you start to feeling better soon. Time is often the best remedy but sometimes you just need some outside help to break the cycle.

[AndreaAndee]

I agree with kspappas. It's a very difficult phobia and can involve so many aspects of your life, like eating and drinking out, flying, driving, going on boats, etc. I would definitely find a new therapist, and yes, medication can be a lifesaver!! I'm 48 and have had this phobia since 10 years old. It does tend to was and wane, depending on your stressors. I had a very stressful summer and yes, my digestion is off now, so working on that. Anxiety is horrible and can cause sooo many physical symptoms. But hang in there, you will get much help on here because we all understand. Hugs.