I hate inconsiderate people

[thegooddr]

Evening all, I hope you are all feeling well today.



I am sorry but this could be a bit of a rant, but I need to get it off
my chest and I see from reading the posts here that you all have good
ears and good hearts.



I am new here, so first off I will state that "I am an emetophobe, and
have been for 25 years". My 'phobe is of me v* primarily
(childhood trauma) and others around me second.



Anyway, on to the rant. Got into work today and one of my
research assistants who has been off work for a couple of weeks with a
serious chest infection was around, but looking a bit pale. At
coffee break she did not drink more than two sips of her tea and a bit
of her scone. Later in the day she said she was going home as she
had v* twice already today and she felt really drained. Now she
is normally really good, and if she or her son is ill she will stay
away from the rest of us, but she really got to me today as she knew
she wasn't feeling well but still came into work. Am I that much
of an ogre expecting someone who is ill to come into work ? (the answer
is No by the way !!)



Then, and this is where my blood really began to boil. I picked
my 4 1/2 month old son up from the childminder and she makes a flippant
comment about how it is a real sick house today - Her daughter has a
bad kidney infection, her son has a really bad chest, she has a
gallbladder problem, and to top it all, she comes out with the old
classic - "..and my husband was up all night with d and v". NOW
WHY DIDN'T SHE TELL ME THIS AT 8AM WHEN I DROPPED LIAM OFF. So he
has been in a house all day where someone has been ill. Now the
husband did go to work today and when I got there to pick Liam up the
husband was eating his dinner, so it doesn't sound as if it was too
serious (the fact he went to work after being ill during the night is a
totally different issue - don't get me started on that one). My
wife has had Norwalk twice and I know that she couldn't eat within 24
hours, and it was more like a week before she could eat again, so I
think it unlikely that he has that. Then the childminder proceded
to tell me of all the other people she has come into contact with over
the past few days who were ill or have been recently ill.



Now this isn't just an emetophobia thing in my thinking, but a common
sense thing, if you have someone who is ill in the house, you just
don't accept other peoples kids into the house, end of story. I
know that Liam has to face the world to develop his immune system (I am
an Immunologist so know the benefits to him) and that I can't guard him
against it, but I am his dad, and I want to be the one to make the
decisions to let him go into a sick house, not be told as an after
thought. Liam is only small, and I wish we didn't have to leave
him with a childminder, but financial constraints make it a
necessity. When he was born he spent 11 days in intensive care
because of a VERY VERY traumatic birth and I just can not bring myself
to think of him getting sick for a while, the trauma of 4 1/2 months
ago is just too fresh in my mind and I can still burst into tears at
the very smallest thing.



And as a final rant, I have a new PhD student in the lab, and if I hear
once more that he has come into work and is v*, but he just needs to
get work done, then I think I will scream (he is a heavy drinker which
accounts for 99.99% of it). The health authorities in Ireland
have drafted guidelines for people who have upset stomachs informing
them to stay at home and not come back to work for 2 days after the
last symptom. I do it, my wife does it. If the lab can
survive without the both of us then I am sure that it can survive
without the others if they are ill. I just hate inconsiderate
people.



Now, I think I am done, and now I feel MUCH MUCH better. Sorry for the rant.



Iain



P.S. And I also am

[shiva]

I hear ya! Some people are very inconsiderate. Hope you have better days to come.

[hannah33]

Iain, first of all, don't feel sorry for the rant, I know how good it feels to get stuff off your chest, and secondly, ARG!!! I hate totally inconsiderate people too, it drives me totally NUTS when people do stuff like that. So welcome to the group, and I totally hear you on this.
Cheers,
Hannah

P.S. *jumps up and down* I WANT TO GO TO IRELAND, I ALWAYS HAVE!!!!! soooooo jealous.... [img]smileys/smilies_02.gif[/img] I've been taking Irish dancing for several years and have totally fallen in love with Ireland and everything associated with it [img]smileys/smilies_04.gif[/img] Someday I want to go there, if not to live, to at least visit and compete (NO competitions within 4 hours flying from where I live) Could you please tell me about Ireland? What part of Ireland do you live in? [img]smileys/smilies_01.gif[/img]

[thegooddr]

Hannah,



I live in Galway, on the west coast of Ireland. Very very
beautiful. I have only lived here for 6 years, as I worked and
studied in Oxford in England before that, although I was born in
Birmingham, UK.



Ireland is so relaxed compared to UK it is unbelievable, I had a hard
time adjusting when I got here to the attitudes of people in relation
to work. But now I have got used to it and realise that Irish
people get just as much stuff done, but have a lot more fun doing
it. Irish people are a bit like Canadian people, they have a
great sense of fun and enjoyment and love nothing more than a good old
party.



You should bite the bullet, get on that plane and make for Ireland, you wil NOT regret it.



Iain



P.S. Will be over in Canada myself later in the year, visiting friends and relatives in Toronto.

[hannah33]

[img]smileys/smilies_04.gif[/img] I live in Newfoundland, Canada, and the people who've been to Ireland say it's rather simmilar to Ireland in terms of the people and atmosphere. I WILL come to Ireland someday, I'm completely determined. I've always wanted to learn Gaelic, so I figure Ireland would be the best place to do it [img]smileys/smilies_01.gif[/img] I love the Irish accents too, I've listened to Irish people talk for hours without the slightest inkling of what the heck they were talking about [img]smileys/smilies_18.gif[/img]
Cheers,
Hannah

[stella9]

Your rant is completely valid. Anyone who minds children during the day, in their home, has the responsibility to cancel daycare should anyone who lives in the home becomes ill with a communicable illness. If they chose not the close the center for the day, they have the absolute responsibility totell the parents wo they may chosealternative care for their child.


I would expect this for all illnesses.


Stella

[falon_17]

I totally agree with you. Especially about your son. I have a 2 year old and I would be furious if his teacher at daycare didn't tell me someone was sick. I would tell this person who keeps your son that you would like to be informed beforehand if anyone in the house is sick from now on. That's not an unreasonable request. I know how kids that age can be, and yes he does need to be exposed to things to develop his immune system, but children as young as yours can become severely more ill than an adult from the same bacteria/viruses. A 4.5 month old can become dehydrated quickly due to v* or d*.


By the way, I think you have an awesome job!!!!! I love immunology, epidemiology, and all other things related to microbiology. Wish there was a university near me that offered those things..I've settled for pharmacy school.

[thegooddr]

Well things seem to be better in the childminders house today, nobody else got ill so I have made the decision to leave my son there for the day, although myself and my wife did reinforce the fact that we don't want him around the house if anyone is ill with gastro problems and she should phone us immediately if anyone else is else. Am absolutely exhausted this morning as was awake most of the night listening to him waiting for every cough and grumble to end up turning into a v* episode, fortunately he was fine. He did however wake up at 4am and wanted to play, my wife thought it was time to get up for work and started to sing to him and play with him until i informed her that it was 4am !!!


Hope everyone has a great Valenines day.





Iain

[amanda l.]

I totally agree that sick kids don't belong in school or daycare, and sick adults don't belong at work. There was a segment on the news about something like that. Basically, it said that if you are sick and you go to work, you wind up costing your company more in the long run, by getting others sick (who go to the doc and then use their sick time so that they'll be paid). My husband is one of those people.


Veering a little off topic-On 01 Nov, my sister took my nephew (who's 6) to the ped for a sinus infection. My nephew played with some little boy in the waiting room, and they were both called back at the same time. The nurse asked what was wrong with each kid, and the other kid's mom said she thought he had the chicken pox. My sister wasn't TOOO worried, as my nephew had the CP shot. Fast forward 2 weeks to the 15th, and my newphew has chicken pox. He wound up giving it to 8 other kids at school.

[thegooddr]

Amanda,





I didn't realise there was a chickenpox shot. I don't think they give it over here in Ireland or in the UK. Do you have any more info on it ?





Iain

[tabycat]

yeah there's been one since I was about 7 or 8 in the US, I'm now 20. I had chickenpox before it was approved so it wasn't a big deal. I don't know if I'd get the vaccine unless it was required. The chickenpox aren't that bad and you can still get it if you've been vaccinated, my boyfriend got the chickenpox FROM the vaccination. So yeah. I duno.





and I hope your week has gotten better I really hate it when people are inconsiderate liek that!

[stella9]

There is a lot of controversy around the chicken pox vaccine. It is a live virus, which is different from most vaccines that contain dead virus. Also, it has a limited effacy. Ususally it wears off around age 20. Hopefully, those who were vaccinated as children will get a booster at 20. Getting chicken pox as a child is no big deal. It is horrifying for an adult.


Personally, I would prefer that my children get the chicken pox since the immunity from having it is so much better than the vaccine. Unfortunately, they had to be vaccinated because the schools require it.


Stella

[tabycat]

ugh...that sucks, I didn't know about all that. Hopefully I can get my kids the chicken pox before they have to go to school(jk) I mean I guess it's an inevitable evil, kinda like the MMR shots. My parents both had measles and mumps and survived just fine. I think it's ridiculous that the schools require a chicken pox vaccination, sorry this is way off topic

[amanda l.]

Supposedly, if you get the shot, then get CP, they aren't as bad. But, my nephew had a good case of them. All of the kids at school that got them had the shot too.

[tabycat]

then what good is the vaccination?

[thegooddr]

Well to give you a bit more of an update, I had made the decision to
let Liam go to the childminder as noone else in the house had (and
still has) not been ill in any way. Today I got a call from the
childminder to tell me that Liam had v* all his dinner back up, but 90
minutes after he had eaten it. He has had no d* at all and he has
no signs of fever. He has been cranky for a few days, and we had
put it down to constipation and teething. Every time he has had a
dirty nappy
in the past few days he has been in really good form afterwards
(although he has definately been struggling to dirty his nappy - we
have just put him on solid food in the past few weeks).
He had been a bit quiet today, but gave no signs he was ill. He
was asleep in the childminders car, then suddenly gave three small
cries and v*. He has been fine since then (nearly 4 hours ago),
again with no more v*
and still no d*. He has also taken a decent breast feed and kept
that down. I don't think he has a sv, but it is a bit of a
coincidence that he was in a house 48 hours ago when someone had been
ill and now he is (probably just my emet paranoia kicking in here).



Myself and my wife think that it might be related to the fact that he
is teething really badly at the moment and he hasn't slept properly for
10 days because of it. If you look at all the books and all the
websites about teething they all say that v* is definately NOT a sign
of teething, but usually something else. Well here I am getting
confused because every parent I speak to says - oh yes every time their
child was cutting a tooth then they would v* and be really
cranky. So this is a question to all the parents out there, what
is the real story, in your experience when you little darlings were
cutting teeth did they have a tendancy to v* ?



I am not handling this v* episode too badly (helps having here to turn
to for a start), I thought I would be a lot more scared than I am, but
I suppose I really have activated my parenting gene and Liam comes
first above all my emet fears.



Oh well, thats my day, hope everyone else is having a good one,



Iain




Edited by: thegooddr

[hippychick]

My cousin has V* everytime he is cutting a new tooth and the Dr said thats all there is. Also I had never heard of the chicken pox vaccine, it's so not that much of an issue for children people usually expose them to it to save them getting it as adults. I had it and my sister to. I find it odd there is a vaccine. ANYWAY back to the topic, trust the other parents, there is no better advice than that from other people with kids! Plus if he was straining to hard to fill his nappy maybe it triggered a V* episode? Hope he feels better soon.


xxxxxxx

[californiagirl]

Well,, being constipated can also cause V*, especially in kids/babies because they will get stomach aches/cramps and would be more vulnerable to V* from them.

[lgood22573]

My daughter NEVER V* with any of her teething. All my books say no, it is
not related. She had some pretty nasty teething too.

[peachykeen]

My oldest always v*d when getting teeth. For her it was the extra drool
and runny nose that caused the v*. She v*s every time she gets a cold
too - pretty much any time there is extra "anything" wet in her mouth/
throat area.

[thegooddr]

peachykeen,



I wondered whether it was related to the drool as Liam just soaks
everything he wears at the moment with drool and at the time he was
asleep in his car chair when he v*. I wonder whether he just
choked on drool and v*. He is now fast asleep and has not v* for
8 hours so I think he will be OK now. just keeping him on
breastmilk for 24 hours and maybe some light baby rice just to make
sure.



Iain

[thegooddr]

Thank you for eveyrones replies and concern. Liam is much better today, he had a good nights sleep, and has been eating normally without any ill effects. Will just put it down to 'just one of those things'.


Hope you all are having a happy thursday,





Iain

[emetojackie]

I'm glad to hear he is feeling better [img]smileys/smilies_01.gif[/img]I think he may have just been a little cranky and even though books say they don't V* due to teething, that may have been a factor to it!


Take care! [img]smileys/smilies_04.gif[/img]x

[krismerc]

Liam, I find your case very interesting for two reasons (and I apoligize if I offend you[img]smileys/smilies_09.gif[/img]) because you are a male and you are older. It just does not seem like this phobia has a lot of older men that it has effected ( I could be wrong they may just not be comming forward). Also if you wouldn't mind could you tellme about your tramatic event that caused this awful phobia. Oh and one more thing...I just think that people who don't have this stupid phobia really don't give much thought to comming in v*ing as it is so common. A few months ago my LEAD came in v*ing. Of course panic set right in and I requested to be transferred to another office. Now everyone in my small office knows because of the big comotion that I caused NOT TO COME IN V*ING!!!!! Thankgod my boss is a friend of mine who has a sister that has the same phobia so when he received the phone call from that day he somewhat understood my intence fear of being in the same office as her.


Thanks,


Kristen

[crazybeautiful]

Iain,


I understand your frustration completely. If you read my thread titled 'UGHHHH I'M SO MAD' I was/am in a similar position.


I think it's disgusting when people come to work and I think it was completely irresponsible of your babysitter to do that. It makes me feel so sick to think about it. UGH.


And I also agree this isn't just upsetting to an emet, it's just unsanitary.

[krismerc]

I AM SOOO SORRY IAIN I CALLED YOU BY YOUR SONS NAME.[img]smileys/smilies_09.gif[/img]


KRISTEN

[thegooddr]

Kristen,





The traumatic event was when I was 7 or 8 and I must of had some sort of sv* as I suddenly woke up and had to v*. This carried on for a few hours and the last time I v* I started to choke and was having serious trouble breathing. Now I don't know if it was that I was choking on v* or just that I was having a very strong panic attack I don't know, but to this day my biggest fear is that I will choke when I v*, and that is the absolute source of my fear. The secondary fear abut other people is not them actually going through the act but rather that they will give me something which will make me v*. It is strange that when my wife was pregnant last year she had very very bad morning sickness and I could be in the same room as her because I knew I was not going to get anything. When she was in labour she had a very bad reaction to a drug she was given and she had very violent v* and I had to hold her because she was not able to support herself and again there was no problem. HOWEVER, in the next bed a young woman was bought in who I overheard say that she had been v* all night, and because I did not know if if was because of a sv I was very panicky.





Ialso realise that there are not too many men on these boards who are willing to come forward and admit the phobia, and no offense is taken at your post when you mention it, I just have no problem in admitting I do suffer with it and if I am in a place that is a majority female place then so be it, I feel comfortable with it. Hell, I work in science which in Ireland is so female dominated that I have no choice but to air my troubles to women. Of course I wouldn't change the male:female ratio at all at work [img]smileys/smilies_02.gif[/img].





Iain





P.S. I forgive you for calling me Liam

[belle]

People are ridiculous when they come to work ill! There are sick days for a reason! Or go to other peoples homes or have people over their home when recently ill. Perhaps they see it as no big deal being up all night d or v! I think it is just common courtesy to let people know that you were - are ill and givepeople the choice to decide if they want to be around you or not.

[stella9]

Not only emet. My son has a fever with a bad cough. No one is coming to my house - period.


Stella

[samara's on tv]

It's so wrong for people to come into work when they are sick! I mean I know that when I'm sick or have V*ed or whatever I can barely get out of bed...I mean how can these people even find the strength to get up and go to work? And V*ing at work? Hell I can't V* Unless I am in MY bathroom or I'll start panicking. I mean not that I V* all the time but when I get Nauseous I have to be at home or I freak. I don't understand some people.


~Monica