Child sick in my daughters class.

[jennyleigh1975]

I was dropping the children off at school this morning, and guess what happened while I was in my youngest daughters room?!?! One of her classmates v'd. My daughter and I had just walked in the door and I was talking to her teacher. Then the little girl kept saying, I feel sick, and was rubbing her throat. The teacher got her to the bathroom, where she v'd. Needless to say, I brought my daughter back home with me. She didnt get within 3-4 ft. of this child that was sick. IF this is a virus, do you think my daughter will be ok? The sick little girl was there yesterday. Their teacher said that this little girl has had awful sinus drainage since last week. She said it was real bad yesterday. The teacher seems to think that it is the sinus stuff that made her sick. The little girls moma came and picked her up, but before she got there, the little girl had the dry heaves again. Her mother is taking her to the doctor. Here is my dilemma though (not to mention that I am already anxious) tomorrow is my oldest daughters 11th b-day. Most of the middle school is gone off on a spring trip. Since she will not be doing much work this week (since half her class is gone on this trip) I was going to keep her out of school tomorrow and do something special with just her, but now with this sick child in my youngest daughters class, I am afraid to leave her at school tomorrow, but I would be afraid to take her where ever I went with my oldest daughter for fear that she ahs somehow caught something from this little girl and will get sick while we are gone. I dont want to upset my oldest daughter by taking her little sister with us. I dont know what to do!! I just hate this!! I should have asked my daughters teacher if there was a bug going around at school that she knew of when I talked to her a few minutes ago. I worry about my daughters teacher catching it if it is a bug. I do know that the little girl that got sick, her mother is taking her to the doctor today. So we shall see.

Edited by: jennyleigh1975

[purpleteacher]

What you described sounds like situations I have heard many times before in teaching. Often children will V* after they have eaten breakfast if they are really sick because the milk will trigger stuff in their stomach. When a child is having bad sinus drainage, milk and dairy products will frequently make it worse. If the child was sick with sinus problems AND had breakfast, it sounds like a potential recipe for illness. One of my friends at church has been teaching Kindergarten forever and she tells me stories like this all time - and she knows I love Kinders too! She tells me the truth about what happens in the classroom so I can be a little more prepared and I love her dearly for warning me, not to mention giving me advice on how to handle the situation when it occurs.


I really wouldn't worry much about sending your daugher to school tomorrow. Your daughter has more than likely been exposed to anything and everything so far this year without you even being aware of it, especially if your daughter is of the age where the teacher takes the child to the bathroom (younger elementary). Your daughter didn't touch the girl who was sick or didn't touch her bodily fluids today, which if she was sick with a SV - would then just be contagious.


The teacher took precautions and wouldn't be intentionally exposing herself to a SV, so I wouldn't necessarily worry about the teacher becoming a carrier either. Teachers don't necessarily like being around V* and most teachers will get the sick child out of the classroom as physically fast as possible! The teacher just had to handle the situation and get the child comfortable and on her way home. Teachers deal with V* frequently with younger children and the teacher doesn't always get sick (newer teachers get sick easier).


Tomorrow is supposed to be your older daughter's special day. Take care of your older daughter and just leave a note with the school nurse/classroom teacheron how and where to reach you (cell number) if anything is to happen to your younger daughter.


Attempt to not let this threat of illness ruin something between you and your older daughter. Show your kids that a threat of illness is not enough to ruin plans, only a true illness will ALTER plans. This experience is one you could use to set an example for your children about when staying home from school is really warrented and when going to school is really the best thing to do.


ITOTALLY understand why you turned around and took your child straight home today, but by letting her stay home tomorrow without completely knowing the full story as to why the child was sick is showing that the fear of the unknown is greater than the fear of the known.

[roulette]

I would totally agree with purpleteacher!

Besides, my mother was always weak with my little sister, who likes to go EVERYWHERE with her. I hardly ever got any just me and her time when I was at home (when I did, I REALLY had to guilt her and get worked up and upset before she even took me seriously - because I always did want me-and-her time - and it wasn't worth the effort), and I get even less now, since I don't live at home.

The lack of mother-daughter time I had with her really distressed and bugged me and when I got depressed (I've been on anti-depressants, attempted suicide, gone through eating disorders and self harmed - not good), it wasn't the cause but certainly didn't help - in fact, it made it worse.

So PLEASE don't let your phobia get in the way of you having some regular, special, mother-child time with her!

[jennyleigh1975]

I know I am just going to have to probally send my youngest to school tomorrow and just hope and pray that this little girl is just sick with some kinda sinus stuff, OR that if it is a virus, the her other classmates dont pick it up and that the little girls mom keeps her out of school til she is completely well. My oldest daughter does deserve the mommy time, and she has been looking forward to tomorrow for several weeks now.

Now, if only I could lower my anxiety level!!

Anybody here wanna keep my youngest child for me tomorrow .... LOL!!!! Just kidding!!

[purpleteacher]

Sure - I'll take her to school with me tomorrow. What grade do I need to teach?? Hehe!!! I can pick and choose my schedule (kinda...) I'll pick her up at the airport this evening and we will have an uber-awesome time at whatever school I get schedule at tomorrow [img]smileys/smilies_04.gif[/img]

[stella9]

Hi Jennyleigh,


I know exactly how you feel. I would probably investigate further what was wrong with the little girl before I made any decisions. If it was sinus related, I would not worry at all. If it was/is asv, then it is another story. You can only hope that the parents would keep her home tomorrow. It would not only eradicate your worry, but would also keep the rest of the kids from being exposed.


With that said ------ I try to make my decisions based on facts first, followed by my gut feelings. A few weeks ago my daughter had a field trip to an area college to see a play. A couple days before the trip, our local news and newspaper revealed the rampant "severe" sv going around the college. Thecollege had canceled some plays and sports events the week before due to the illness. They were even being lenient about attendance for the students. I contacted the college nurse who told me that the illness had been confirmed, by the health department, as Norwalk virus. I chose to keep my daughter home. As it turned out, several other children were kept home also for the same reason. In my view, there may or may not have been any real risk BUT the fact that the infirmary was seeing 75 to 100 kids per day did not give me a level of confort.


I agree with the others about special time with your oldest one. You never know what your kids will remember about their childhoods both positively and negatively. You'll find out when they're 30 (LOL). All kidding aside, it is essential that your oldest child's schedule continue as planned. As for your little one with the sick girl in class ---- as I mentioned above, youmay want to find what the girl is sick with and if she is going to school tomorrow so that you can make a decision that works for everyone involved.


Stella

[purpleteacher]

Stella9 - How do you investigate one child V* without possibly causing drama?I mean, unless there have been many kids sick - how do you go about inquiring what was wrong with child without violating personal boundaries? I'mhonestly curious about this because I don't know how to do it.


I know what I always want to know WHY someone is sick, but I haven't learned how to ask people without violating boundaries --- which usually makes me look like I'm psycho for even asking such questions. I have learned to keep the questions to myself unless I have many other reasons to inquire (other students sick at the same time, the student mentioning a sick family member, the child being sick multiple times in one season, sibling of the child being sick a few days before, etc...).


I know if a mother called me that I didn't know from my daughter's class and started drilling me on how my daughter was feeling, I would be offended and very taken back by the phone call. Not all parents freak out over V* and might become more concerned about the *nosey* (perceived as nosey) parent calling to ask why my child was V* at school. I might be emet, but I am really picky about boundaries...


Anyone have any advice on how to inquire?

[crimgoddess]

Purpleteacher- I was wondering that myself.


I doubt the school keeps a diagnosticrecord as to why a child was sent home sick- unless it was an outbreak where many children were sent home with the same thing. I also agree that if I got a random phonecall from a parent that I did not have a personal relationship with enquiring as to why my child was sick, I would be completely taken aback, and would probably not tell them. Even if I were the teacher- I would hesitate to tell another parent why another child was sent home if I knew the cause, because I would feel that it wasn't mynews totell.


Jennyleigh- sinus drainage can really do a number on a kid's stomach. It even does a number on mine! Even if it was a virus, your daughter has already been exposed - what would keeping her home for the day if she isn't showing any symptoms going to accomplish? I know it's a competely crappy situation where no option really seems appealing, but if she isn't sick or complaining about not feeling well, I would send her to school and make sure you are reachable by cellphone if by chance she starts to feel ill. As an older sibling, I completely agree that it is a drag to have your little sister or brother tagging along on an outing that is supposed to be a special day for you and mom.


Just think- if you haven't been there to witness this, you wouldn't even necessarily have known that this occurred. How many other times have situations like this occured at school without you knowing of it, and your daughtersdidnt catch anything from it? What you see and hear is probably only a quarter of the story.


Hope that everything works out for you tomorrow- that your youngest remains healthy, and that you have a fun day with your oldest for her birthday! Enjoy it while you can, haha, in a few years she will be a teenager and will decide that spending the day hanging out with mom is a drag [img]smileys/smilies_02.gif[/img]


*amber*


Edited to add- opps, just realized that you posted that you were going to send her to school.Once again- have fun tomorrow with your daughter!


Edited by: crimgoddess

[e-lizabeth]

Jennyleigh - please please consider what taking your child back home has taught her: that vomiting is bad, something to be avoided, and frightening. I'm sure you don't want to raise an emetophobic child and you need to do everything in your power to struggle against those instincts. My daughter, who's about to turn 7, is starting to display pretty serious emetophobic tendencies and some panic attacks and let me say this: nothing i have experienced in my own emetophobia is as horrifying and painful as watching my small beautiful innocent child start to panic. And that happened with me actually working to make sure i didn't pass it on to her. So to all us mothers (and fathers), we need to work extra hard at this. We don't want this going to the next generation!


Good luck.

[sadiemae]

Oh Man I know how you feel...I have had 5 v* episodes from my kids this school year and ...(knock on wood ) with Lysol and hand washing and not eating, I have yet to get it. They are 5, 3 and 1 so they are with the germy preschool kids 3 days a week. Just keep washing well and good luck!

[jennyleigh1975]

Well, I am still not 100% sure what I am going to do tomorrow, but ....... I talked to my daughters teacher this afternoon, and she had talked to the little girls mom. The little girls mom said that she got her home and gave her some medicine for her sinuses and that she had been fine since then. The teacher seems pretty sure that it isnt an SV. The teacher told me that this little girl has had sinus drainage like you wouldnt believe yesterday and the end of last week. I am scared to death about tomorow, part of me says I need to leave her and go about my plans, but I know I will have the thought in the back of my head all day ........... "What if?" I just hate the thought of having to dissapoint my oldest daughter.



Edited by: jennyleigh1975

[madisonsmom]

Hmmm, Its hard to tell. My nephew has been v* all day. Small amounts but needless to say...ALL DAY! He has had d* probably 5-6 times.


I dont know about this little girl. It really doesnt sound like a sv since she only v* once and is better with sinus meds.


Go with your gut.[img]smileys/smilies_01.gif[/img]


Oh yea...my nephew isnt in school. He's only 16 months old. I have no idea where he could have picked it up! The doctor said everyone in town has it[img]smileys/smilies_12.gif[/img]Edited by: madisonsmom

[floweralison]

Don't schools require a doctor's excuse if a child stays home from school? I don't see how keeping a child home from school if they're not sick can help anyone, especially the child who's trying to learn. It's like never riding in a car because you might be in an accident. Sure, you worry about it, but 99% of the time, it never happens. (unless you're a really bad driver!) I can completely understand your fear, but should it really be effecting your child's education? I don't know how often they stay home, but have you considered home schooling so they don't miss out on their education? Just wondering.

[lgood22573]

This is a sensitive subject! But we do have to remember first and
foremost to try as hard as we possibly can to not let our emet affect our
children's lives. It's simply not fair (not that it's fair we have emet in the
first place). I understand your fear, trust me I do. I dealt with sv* this
past weekend, and we all survived. My emet kept me from eating for 2
days with the anticiaption that I would catch it (and I did). This is not a
rational way of thinking. Try not to let emet make decisions for you as
best you can.

[shiva]

Jennyleigh, I would have done the same thing. What? Your youngest is like 5? It's not like missing out on reading and snack time is going to ruin her life. However, if you would have sent her, you would have been freaking out all day, causing yourself stress and anxiety.
I usually try to not condone avoidance when it comes to this phobia. But, I do believe it's acceptable to keep kids away from potential sickness. I don't think that keeping her home one day has taught her that vomiting is bad. It's not like you keep her home daily or anything. You had a decision to make and no time to think about it. You just did what you knew you could deal with for the moment. There is nothing wrong with that.
Considering the crap that many parents do to their kids, I don't even think that this one should be considered at all as wrecking your daughter's psyche.
Like I said... I try to be as rational as I can. I understand that there is always sickness around us. But, I think I would have more than likely done the same thing.
I hope you have a great day today.

[jennyleigh1975]

My youngest is four.

I didnt send her to school today.

The little that v'd in her class yesterday was out again today. SHe is now running fever and has green snot. So, its probally not a virus that caused her to v* yesterday.

My husband was able to stay with our youngest at home today.

My oldest daughter and I had a great day together.

Did my fear get the best of me this time? Yes, it sure did?

Do I look my fear in the face many times for the sake of my children, I sure do. This just wasnt one of those times.

Have my children missed alot of school because of my fear? Nope, they sure havent.

I did what I had to do to cope this time. AND, for the record ......... my youngest has no idea why she got to come home and stay with mommy and daddy, but I enjoyed having her at home with us.

They will all be back at school tomorrow, and I will be there with them, I am subbing in my sons K-5 class.



PEACE OUT!!!![img]smileys/smilies_14.gif[/img][img]smileys/smilies_02.gif[/img]

[kate1966]

[img]smileys/smilies_04.gif[/img]Leigh, you are too funny!!!!!!!!!! Get down, girl, go head, get down....i don't blame you one bit. I am glad you got to enjoy your day with your daughter !!! Hope her bday was grand!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! OMG you are subbing at school?????????? Wow woman, you are brave!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Good luck with that and let me know how it goes!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1

[mjewell]

I just wanted to add one more thought. A lot of parents are worried about turning their kids into emets, but do we honestly know how that happens? Did any of our parents "turn" us into emets? Maybe a few, but I think most of us have no idea why we really have it, and of those that do, it is usually from witnessing someone V* or having an illness when we were little, not because our parents kept us home when there was a virus going around.


I think a lot of emets just have a predisposition to anxiety and nervousness, and it isn't necessarily because of the way we were raised...just unlucky genes.Edited by: mjewell

[californiagirl]

JENNY~~~


I'm glad you and your daughter had a great day! HAPPY BIRTHDAY to her!!! My feeling is, you do what YOU need to do, what YOU think is right for your family. I agree w/MJEWELL, in that just because you keep your kids home from school to protect them from a possible virus, you are not instilling the wrath of emet into them. I am emet obviously, and neither one of my parents gave it to me. If my Mom felt the need to protect me from something, I would respect her for that, just like she protected me from predators, bad people, bad situations, and I never gained a phobia about thoise things, so saying that protecting your kids from viruses will give them emet may not be true, if they aren't afraid of V* in the first place.

[shiva]

I am so glad you and your daughter had a great time. And I am glad to see that you are feeling good about the decision you have made. I agree with what you said 100%


Just wanted to add to what mjewell said... My mom has a terrible phobia of cats, bats and thunderstorms. I have 2 cats, don't mind bats and LOVE a great storm. I agree that there is simply a (more than likely biological) pre disposition for anxiety disorders. I don't personally fear that I will pass this issue on to my children. Afterall, my parents are those "just puke and get it over with" people.

[madisonsmom]

Woohoo! I am glad you 2 had a great time[img]smileys/smilies_01.gif[/img]

[purpleteacher]

Jenny,


You did the best you could. It sounds like you learned something from the experience and you didn't let the little girl who was sick ruin the time with your oldest daughter.

[stella9]

Jenny,


I am glad you had a great time with your oldest. Keeping your little one home was probably the best thing as far as giving you peace of mind. I agree, the little sick girl, probably has a respiratory thing going on BUT why take any chances.


You were able to go, have a great time witha free mind.


Stella