OCD and Me

[blackbeltkid]

Ok I realize that there are have been numerous posts prior to this one about OCD coexisting with Emetophobia, but I figured that I could start a new one.


Well I have had OCD since as long as I can remember. The obsessions and compulsions varied. Sometimes I would be afraid of choking. Sometimes I would be afraid of dying. But for the past 10 years of my life, it has all come down to v*. When I was younger it was more of a fear than anything else. However, I am now 15 years old, andit has now grown into a catastrophic situation if I were to v*. In order to prevent myself from v*, I wash my hands obsessively. My hands are dry, red, and they sometimes bleed. It looks as if I am wearing red gloves. I am made fun of it all the time. I hear things like "Elmo hands" all the time. Once a person taped red tape on my hand and they said "Hey look it MATCHES!" and then they pulled it off and laughed because of all of the dry skin left on the back of the tape. I've had people touch my face and scream "OH GOD CHARLENE, BETTER GO GET SOME LYSOL BEFORE YOU V*..." People say a lot of things. Most of the time they dont intend on hurting me... But it hurts. I've gotten over most of that though, once you have been hurt so many times, all of that pain numbs you, and you can't feel it anymore.
So my goal this year is to let my skin heal and have normal and painless hands. And it seems easy right? Just stop washing your hands... Well any of you know that its not that SIMPLE... In fact it is one of the hardest things to do in your life. I don't wash my hands because of any other reason besides the fact that it could make me v*. So if I wasn't so afraid of v*, my OCD would never have progressed THIS FAR. There have been times I felt like giving up. Times that I said "The only way I wont v* is if I die." So I became extremely helpless and depressed, and wanted to die so that I would never have to face my fear. However, recent events have changed my perspective on this situation. I'm NOT going to give in to this evil feeling. I'm going to fight it. And I believe the only way to do that, is to start from the source... To kill my fear of v*. So I figured, who better to help me than people who understand! So I am begging of anyone here to please help me get through this, and I promise I will return the favor. None of us should suffer like this. So any help would be appreciated! Thank you all for taking the time out of your day to read this and I love you all for understanding. Thanks again... [img]smileys/smilies_39.gif[/img]

[laneyb]

Hi there!!


I dont know that I can really offer any advice to you to get you started. I dont suffer from OCD (undiagnosed) but do have many rituals that I follow daily. I dont seem to have too much of a problem with handwashing though, I try to not do it unless I am going to prepare and eat food, or have been to the toilet, mind you during the preparation and eating of food I will ususually wash my hands several times.At work I have wipes in my drawer and before I eat anything I have to touch (crisps...which I love) I use several.My colleaguesthink Im a nutcase anyway so dont think too much about it!!!


I think its this little bit of control that helps to keep me feeling relatively sane!!!!


I feel so bad for all the people that have been mean to you, they probably all have phobias themselves and wouldnt like it if it were them being picked on.


I wish you loads of love and luck in your conquest to overcome this and keep us all updated.


Laney xx

[kel12347]

Welcome to the site! Check out the treatments forum for ways to get rid of emet for good. It can be done, you know. One lady on here is completely cured, and I'm getting better, with the help of therapy.


Best of luck to you!

[Babydoll]

I put up ALOt of info on OCD about 2 weeks ago.. its a presentation I did for mypsych class. It should be on here somewhere, and might give you a bit of information on it.


I went back and found the thread:


http://www.emetophobia.org/forum/for...sp?TID=7834&am p;KW=babydollEdited by: Babydoll

[purpleteacher]

I used to have that happen. My hands would crack and bleed. It was very painful and embarrassing because no one would hold my hand (I was in elementary and early middle school when this happened).


The only thing I found that worked to make the pain and coloration go away was to put vaseline on it at night and then cover my hands with clean socks. It would soften up my hands considerably, but sometimes the vaseline stung a little.


Drying your hands completely after washing, using less harsh of soaps, and reducing the amount of antibacterial hand-wash you use should also help with this problem.

[chloe]

I just want you to know that when my fear was at its worst (when i was 14-18) I too washed my hands crazily. I also had sore red hands that I was so ashamed of. It also looked like I wore gloves.During thewinter months everytime I had to write my hands would crack and bleed it wasawful. I can totally sympathise with your situation.


I was studying psychology at the age of 16-18 and there was an article on OCD and they gave the example of hand washing. I cried reading that article and showed it to my parents and said "I think I have this". I then booked an appointment with my dr and he gave me some steriod cream which really helped. Since then Ionly use Dove soapas it is less drying than some.


Luckily I have had a lot of support and have been able to reduce my hand washing DRAMATICALLY! My skin is only ever dry in the winter now - but no more so than other people's.


When I was about 15 I thought i was going mad or that I had schizophrenia purely because I HAD to wash my hands and although it was linked to theemet it seemed to take a stronger hold on me than the emet did.


I hope that you too are able to over come this. I know this fear is harder to combat at school as there are loads of kids and germs etc. I'm 24 now and it has taken me a good 6 years to calm down with the OCD side of things - it does sometimes flare up again when I am stressed but I am able to monitor it a bit better now.Calming your OCDwon't happen over night but when it does it is such an acheivement - and so personal too.


Anyway - just to say feel free to PM me anytime[img]smileys/smilies_01.gif[/img]Edited by: chloe