GRRR. . Story of my friend

[donna1216]

Well, last night my friend and her husband went out with anothercouple (they each have 8 yr. old girls and my friend has a 3 yr. old boy and the other couple have a 4 yr. old boy) and got a babysitter together. They went out to the restaurant where my husband bartends. Well, while they were there the babysitter calls my friend to tell her that her daughter had just thrown up. My friend and her husband say, "oh she'll be fine!!!!!!!!!' and DID NOT GO GET HER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! They left her miserable at the other couple's house, infecting the poor babysitter and the other kids!!! When they got back their daughter was asleep on the couch!! All of the other kids were up and playing. Then at 3 am she woke them up to say that she had thrown up again. Then this morning they all got up and were going to make her go to church even though her stomach still hurt and she said she only felt better lying down. Luckily they didn't go. THen this aftenoon they let her go to a birthday party. My friend called my husband today to ask us to come over for dinner tonight and of course I am like NO WAY, and when I told her that i didn't want to go, she acted offended and said she wasn't going to call me any more!!

[purpleteacher]

I guess it just goes to show different styles of parenting and how everyone responds differently to illnesses. I personally think that parent was being very irresponsible with her children and their health, but that doesn't mean you have to continue exposing you or your children to her sick children. You can be responsible and protect your children.

[daffodil]

Ugh! I would have felt/done the same as you. I don't understand why people do this kind of thing, dragging their kids all over the place when they are ill, and having people over, etc. It's no wonder kids get ill so often. I know kids are bound to catch stuff, they are still developing their immune systems, always sticking their fingers in their mouths, but jeez.
It doesn't matter what my kids are sick with, if they are sick, I make every effort to keep them home until they are better, out of consideration for them, and others.
Sorry that was so long-winded, but it's a subject I feel strongly about.

[stella9]

Immature and selfish are the two words that come to my mind. I guess they were not about to letsick child interfere with their weekend plans, at any cost. If it meant infecting the sitter, other kids, other parents, they just don't care. You defined this person as a "friend." You may want to redefine yourrelationship with her. Hmm, what she did shows alot about her character, or lack thereof.


Stella

[lgood22573]

Good grief! Surely she could understand why you would not want to
bring your child over there. Common sense tells you when someone v*s
they could possibly be contagious. Good for you for standing your
ground.

[6pksummer]

OMG!!! That is crazy! Why would you allow your child to be anywhere but at home...or at least not at the sitters house, or infecting other children! I can't stand it when parents don't care about infecting other children. Parents like that is who starts the sv* at schools. I HATE people that do that! I wouldn't of gone there for dinner either...and if she doesn't want to talk to you cause of that...then too bad! I wouldn't subject myself or my family PURPOSELY to someone who is sick. CRAZY!

[sage]

I'd be like all of you, even now...yet it is interesting to sort of take a step back and look at how other people feel about vomiting in general: it's just no big deal. To them, so what if a kid infects another kid - the worst thing that can happen is they throw up. In 24 hours, they're better. It's just not all that important.


Although I'd still be careful that I or my family members wouldn't be unnecessarily exposed to a virus, I kind of envy the ability to simply not think about it at all.

[donna1216]

sage, it's funny that you said that. Logan came home from school with headlice--I caught it really really early so that I never saw any bugs, just some eggs, treated her, combed the eggs out yesterday morning--not a big deal. My friend said that she was glad her daughter had what she had, that she wouldn't be able to deal with the lice!! I'd rather shampoo and comb lice eggs out of hair every day rather than deal with barf!!!!

[stella9]

Sage,


I know a lot of parents who are NOT emets and would not have wanted their children exposed. While they don't panic about sv's the way we do, they surely don't want their children to get sick like that and will avoid it if possible. I don't know anyone of my "friends" who would assume that 24 hours of v* and d* is no big deal.


Last year I was taking my son into his classroom and a mom was depositing her son to the same classroom. He visibly had pink-eye. She was aware of it because she told her friend, with whom she was chatting. I overheard her say she had the kitchen people coming that day and she had a tennis match, so he HAD to come to school. I sasheyed out of there with my son in hand. I called the school nurse to make her aware of the situation. She immediatelypulled the child out of class. Next day, five more cases of pink-eye amongst the class due to this particular child. I am sure none of the parents wanted that either.


Parenting comes with a ton responsbilities. Keeping sick children home and away from others for a myriad of reasons is just one of them. With a story like the one Donna has shared, are we at all surprised why these illnesses just continue to recirculate?


Stella

[donna1216]

I also happen to know that the husband half of the couple that my friends were with has issues with illness--he may not be an emetophobe, just conscientious but one day his wife was talking about how one day she woke up and spent the entire day in the bathroom v'ing, so he kept her quarantined in one part of the house and kept the kids away from her, etc. I am sure he isn't going to be too pleased if his kids end up getting sick!!!

[japa]

To me, what really resonates personally in this situation is the neglect of the child. I still have lodged in my head a vivid memory of being sent to the first grade with pink eye and an earache because my mother didn't like me to miss school. I remember sitting slouched down in the desk with my head cocked in a certain direction to try to alleviate the pain. I was really sick. Pink eye and an earache or vomiting and diarrhea are uncomfortable for the kid for sure, and the kid needs to be taken care of and tended to.

[daffodil]

I'll second what Japa said- poor kid. Regardless of how paranoid or not you are about spreading/catching illness, think about the comfort of the kid.
I remember my mom taking me out when I had been ill, and it was lousy. And irresponsible on her part.

[roisme]

That is completely irresponsible parenting, imo.

Firstly, because the child needs to be at home resting, and as comfortable as possible. I don't know anyone who would rather be out and about when they're feeling like that.

Secondly, because as I said in another post, taking every step you can to not spread the germs you or your children have, to me, should just be common courtesy.

Like sage said though, I do envy the ability to think of these things so flippantly if at all. Headlice, colds, even influenza, pinkeye...while I wouldn't want me or mine to catch it, I wouldn't get my blood pressure up over the possibility. I wish I could be like that about sv too.

[donna1216]

My friend's husband is very controlling and I think he has a personality disorder and he NEVER puts his family first. Having a good time is more important to him. I'm sure my friend was wanting to go, she's pregnant and didn't want to be at the bar anyway, but her husband is such a jerk, it's ridiculous, you can't cross him or disagree with him. He's ridiculed me for putting my children first. He said I was stupid last year when I took pictures of Logan on her first day of preschool because it wasn't "really school". If their daughter v's and doesn't make it to the trash can, he makes her clean it up herself--no compassion that she's sick,she's 8 years old. His son is 3 yrs, old and very well behaved, and at his birthday party he took my son's formula can (my emergency stash, just in case we're out and I can't use my breastpump) and the top popped off, he PULLED HIS SON'S HAIR so that he would look him in the face. It really pissed my husband and I off. 2 summers ago their daughter had a SV and they made her ride in the car 2 1/2 hours so that they could go to their laske house and drink with their friends there. I could go on. He has verbally abused his wife at my house, we kept their daughter at hour house overnight so she wouldn't have to witness any more. He has hit his wife in front of my husband, who called the police on him, he went to jail and went through counseling. I think that because they are educated, professional people they let him scrape through the program and NEVER investigated anything about him and the kids. I went to someone at church to see what I should do and that just got twisted around and made me look like a gossip.