help me, please

[wintergreen22]

I know this is completely unrelated to emet, but I just need some help.


I dropped out of art college (I was going for INterior Design) because I didn't like my major and I moved in with my mom. THen I started working and saved up some money, but I just recently quit. ANd my mom is hinting that I move out soon (I'm 18years) and get my own apartment, but I don't think I can afford it, and I'm afraid that if I get an apartment now I won't be able to go to college later because all my money would be spent on trying to pay rent. ANd my dad won't help me and my mom can't help me cause all her money went to the college that I dropped out of (which I'm still paying off loans from them)





I'm just scared that I'll never go back to school. And there is som much emphasis on going to college and graduating so you can make something of yourself, and I'm afraid I won't and I'll end up homeless or something.


This is really stressing me out. My tummy has been feeling so weak lately. ANd I can't really eat anything, which leads to me being dizzy, and I feel like I wanna gag a lot. I'm really frustrated and scared.


what did you do? did you go to college? what happens if you don't? do you (or did you) have any idea what you wanted to do? cause I really have no clue. I'm really lost right now.





thank you so much for reading all of that!!!

[silver]

Wintergreen-


I basically do career development, employment training, etc. in my job. What I would recommend to you is to take a look at why you dropped out of Art school, was it the money? Did you not like it? Examine the reasons. Before you go back to school and spend the money/take out the loans/etc. I would take some time to decide what you want to do as a career. Yes, college will open many doors to you that a high school education probably wouldn't, but remember, it isn't a guarantee that you will get a fabulous job right when you are done. I know that money can be really tight during school...I lived off of $150 bucks for everything minus rent for a while there when I was in school. That's why its important to figure out which program you want to attend first. The next step is to get with an advisor at your college of choice and look at financial aid and student loans. They are worth the investment that you put into you education. Look into student housing and apartments that are within your means to pay for. If you want to talk more, you can pm me and I will help you in anyway that I can.

[confusedgirl]

well, I'm going to college in fall, because it is expected in my family. If a person in my family doesn't go to college, the rest of the family would really look down on them (though I'll be going to honestly one of the most alternative colleges in the country, so I am looking forward to it somewhat). But I know college does not always equal success. People can go to college and not have very fulfilling jobs, and other people can choose not to go to college, and be very successful. Do you have any idea at allof what you'd like to do for a career? I'm really interested in alternative education and teaching oneself rather than depending on others to learn. I have heard about teaching yourself everything you'd learn in college... but I'm not quite sure how that works... but there are books written about it and I know people that have done that with their highschool work without difficulty. I could definitely find some more information on that for you - how to learn at least the basics without college (I may look it up myself anyway, just for my own knowledge). You should definitely do what's right for you though (whether or not that means going to college). Good luck

[tcsarah]

Have you had a good talk to your mum? Maybe she is disappointed that you left art college (and maybe is smarting a bit as she ploughed a lot of money intocollege for you)and is dropping hints to make you take a good look at your life and think about what you want to do next. Have you discussed with her why you left art college ie that you just weren't happpy and decided Interior Design wasn't the career you wanted afterall. I'm sure if she knew you were really worried right now about you future and how you are going to cope financially she would be more supportive and understanding.


First I think you need to get some career's advice and have a long hard think about what you want to do. If your mum is adamant about you moving out, you could always get a part time job and study the rest of the time. I actually studied Interior Designthrough a home-study course so I could study at hours that suited me andmy step-mum actually got her degree in Geology through Open University whilst bringing up two kids and holding down a job at the same time - there are many options and it's never too late to go back to college, so try not to worry too much.


Perhaps you could look at a few career websites and answer some questionnaires which may help point you in the right direction career-wise.Try this http://www.bbc.co.uk/science/humanbo...rveys/careers/


Would your local library be of any help? When I didn't know what I wanted to do I went along to the library and loaned a few books on career choices, art-related jobs (I went to art college toofor a while!), working with animals etc all things I thoughtI might like to do.


Good luck with everything!

[wintergreen22]

I'm not sure what I want to be, I'm not sure what I even LIKE anymore. When I left art school I did it mostly because INterior Design was not what I expected. I didn't want to do the work. And I guess I fugured if I didn't want to do tohe work then I should leave. If my heart is not fully i there 110%then why continue doing it? But when I left, I feel like I'm compleletly clueless as to what I want to do with my life. Or where I'm going. And I'm really scared I'll blow any chance of having a nice job that I enjoy. ANd work at fast food for the rest of my life. That really really really scares me.





thankyou, silver, I think I might just wait to find out what to do. Really, I don't feel like I have any other choice, but I think it would be wise to wait it out a bit.





confusedgirl, OMG! thankyou.... you don't have to look up anything career related if you don't want to, but it would really be helpful. I went to collegeboard.com and princetonreview.com and did career tests and I guess they helped out a bit. (I 'm still confused)





and tcsarah, I did talk to my mom, but she really doesn't want to hear it. She just says "Next time, Jess, you are all on your own. If you wanna go back to school you have to pay for it, or ask your father for help, which I don't think he will do!"


and thankyou for the link! as soon as I'm finished typing this I will click on it and explore a bit. and I'm not doing anything else for the rest of the day so I'll ask fr a ride to the library

[Galadriel]

Hey Wintergreen,


It is tough insn't it? I went to a community college and have a 2 year liberal arts degree, but thats it so far. I would go back to college no problem, if I only knew what I wanted to do! Its so hard to try and decide one thing, and know thats what you want. I mean how are you supposed to decide what you want to do for the rest of your life right now?


I am married, and I work at JoAnn Fabrics (a good place), and I like it there, but as for a career I have no idea! Things I thought I wanted to do I realize I would hate, or things I would love to do I don't know if it would support us. I'm just not sure. I guess me and hubby are at a "floating along" stage until something comes along or I figure it out. I took a career class in college even, and I am still not sure. It is so hard to know.

[silver]

Wintergreen-


Another thing about trying to figure out what you want to do is that nobody knows exactly what the want to do. For example, I have a friend that graduated in Biochemistry and is now a Morgage Brooker!! I have other friends who graduated in one field and are doing something totally different. At 18, you are probably going to change your mind many times in your life, and that is perfectly ok. Think about doing what makes you happy first, money will follow...

[crimgoddess]

Yep- I agree with silver.


Also, you have to understand that sometimes you will need to do stuff for school that you don't really like or get any enjoyment from, but you need experience in to be able to do well in the workforce/field.


I'm in grad school in criminology- and am a super-left wing prison abolitionist who is only really interested in doing narrative analysis and speaking to people about their experiences with the (in)justice system. However, there have been many times that I needed to take classes that did not fit in with this, or that were boring and even in some cases, mildly offensive. However, going through this made me better at what I do because it served to strengthen what I agree with/do not agree with, and made me better able to critique the other side with a better knowledge base.


I suggest that you definitely need to talk to your mom (as Sarah suggested). Explain your concerns, and what your future plans or goals are.


Also, before even thinking about going back to school, do some investigating as to what you think you would enjoy doing- what type of work you think you could be passionate about and what would motivate you to do well (salary nonwithstanding). If anything is remotely of interest to you, go out there and talk to people who are working in the field. You are surprised at how many people would be more than happy to take some time to talk to someone who is interested in the work they do.


Once you get more of an idea of what you think you would enjoy, you can have that as an end goal, and investigate the steps you need to do to get to that point. Be aware, that at times you may end up doing stuff that doesn't necessarily peak your interest- but at the same token A) if that isnt something you will be doing once graduating, get it over with and you wont have to deal with it again, and B) along the way, you may find other things that interest you that you never even thought you would want to do. Hell, when I started my post secondary career 6 years ago, my end goal was to be a COP!- now I couldn't be any further from that, nor happier with what I am doing.


The reality is that for many positions (or to be able to move up within an organization) inthe workforce, in order to even be in the competition for a spot you do need a post secondary degree of some sort- whether it be university or tradeschool. That is not saying that everyone should necessarily rush there upon graduating highschool- sometimes it takes a little while to decide what you want to do and where your talents could be best utilized. Take your time- you're only 18...I have many students in the 1st year class that I TA who are older (some older than me) and waited to go to school so they could discover what they wanted to do. These students are often the ones that are more motivated to do well, and take feedback constructively so they can improve on future assignments.


Just a little plug here for the university experience- the way I see it, there are very few things that are as important as a physical space where ideas can be interchanged and concepts debated. Before entering my field of study, I was pretty well read, and thought that I was just in university to get the degree and that I would learn very little that would really be relevant to me or what I wanted to do (ahhh.....youthful arrogance). However, you can read everything you can get your hands on about a particular subject, but until your are able to actually interact with people who not only are knowledgeable, but also have put into practice some of the theoretical concepts that have been explored, you really only know half of the story. That, and the opportunity to get a variety of perspectives about something from people who come from different places and backgrounds- to me that is invaluable.


Winter- I hope that you are able to find something in life that you think will make you happy- no matter what the 'prestige' or the position is or how much it pays. Once you discover this, it will be easi

[confusedgirl]

I found a couple books on amazon, that look like they may be helpful, I haven't read them though so I don't know for sure.. but both of them are about getting careers without going to college.


http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/096...=8-1/qid=11461 98697/ref=sr_1_1/002-5219476-7440803?%5Fencoding=UTF8


http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/006...f=sr_11_1/002- 5219476-7440803?%5Fencoding=UTF8


and if you want to make up your own curriculum at first, rather than going to a college, this may be a help. Someone who has chosen not to go to college wrote this online about how to createa curriculum at home:


"When I first started, I made a list of all the things I was interested in. Then I explored other college websites, read their class descriptions and borrowed some of the books mentioned in their syllabus. Then I made a list of classes and descriptions of what I wanted to learn, along with a list of good books to read."


the rest of the site is here, http://www.homestead.com/peaceandcar...geCurriculum.h tml


I know if you want information about colleges themselves (how to afford college, different types of colleges, etc. the education section of bookstores have a ton of books on the subject! Some large chain bookstores, like Borders and Barnes and Noble, have very nice sized education sections). I have heard from many others (and seen in my own life) that one of the best ways to learn what you're interested in, is just trying things. Like, if you have a hobby you really enjoy, try researching an aspect of it you've been curious about. Don't think of it as doing research or looking for a job - do it for your own curiousity. it's a great way to develop passions that you may end up with a career in someday Then, once you know what you're truly interested in, you could attend a college to focus on that - or get an internship in the field, or do something else to gain even more experience. I know some people who are probably a lot more knowledgeable about college alternatives then I am, and I could definitely check with them and get back to you about how they work and how to get jobs afterwards I don't mind doing research, education alternatives are so interesting to me - in fact, I think I want a career that helps people to be educated in ways that are best for them. I'm 18 too well good luck with everything! ^_^

[shiva]

Are there any career outlook centers in your area? Maybe you could figure out what exactly you would like to do with yourself and then do whatever it will take to get it done.

I would like to add that it is possible to both go to school and work at the same time and still be able to pay the bills. Both my fiance and I are full time students and employed full time. I have a 9 year old daughter and I am involved in her sports and other activities. It's a busy life, but it's progressing and I know it will pay off soon enough. I have a friend who worked 2 jobs and went to design school at the same time, who is currently very successful. All it takes is a goal and motivation. I think the first thing you should do is figure out what your goals are and then the motivation is likely to come naturally.

[marieb73]

I'm just scared that I'll never go back to school.

Stop right there. I am 32 and finishing my BA aftet a loooonnnggg
absence. I started college right after high school ,couldn't go back
for my sophmore year due to fmaily financial crisis and joined the
army. Now, after working and getting by, I am back in school.



There is no such thing as never if you want it.

Now, you need to find out what you want to do. Don't rushto declare a major! One of the best ways to do this is to take your GE (General Eds) classes. Because they ocver so many subject areas, you will get a little taste of many different majors. Think about where you want to be and what you want to do.

And never say never. [img]smileys/smilies_01.gif[/img]

[wintergreen22]

wow wow wow! thanky you all so much! maybe i should just kinda chillout and wait. i think it would be silly for me to jump back into school even though I'm not ready for it, so I guess that in itself is really telling me to wait. I guess what i'm having the most trouble on is just growing up and realizing that i'm not a little girl anymore and things won't get handed to me like they used to.