Disturbing thoughts..

[kimmyc24]

Ok i'm having one of those 'wondering' days..


I was just wondering (again!) if anybody else gets this (GRAPHIC IN A NON EMET WAY)


You've gotta bear with me because i'm not some gross maniac and I DON'T do any self-harming or anything..


Do you ever get very sudden weird thoughts like: I wonder what it would feel like if I jumped in front of that car? Or.. Iget an urge tobite a chunk out of my boyfriends cheek.. just for the sake of it.. or I wonder what would happen if I sliced some skin off my leg?


I kinda get these sudden images of myself doing these things.. eg jumping in front of the tube as it pulls into the platform or in front a car etc and I wonder what it means and if anyone else gets them?


By NO means do I have any desire to do any of the above, or to find out what would happen if I did, but my mind seems to think it kinda randomly... Very weird I know. Maybe i should ask my councellor. [img]smileys/smilies_12.gif[/img]Edited by: kimmyc24

[ontariogirl]

Sorry thoughts like those I don't have. Yes ask your counselor about that.

[snoozy]

Yea, i've had that - driving along the motorway a couple of times - and i've wondered what it would be like to actually drive into the wall or fence next to me (just to swerve into it)... and I too don't mean that in a suicidal way, just a 'what would it be like if....' kind of way... hmm wierd.

[crimgoddess]

Kimmy- I get the same sort of thoughts sometime....like "what would happen if???". I think, for myself anyway, it plays on being able to see how other people would react to that situation. For instance, if I jumped in front of a moving bus- what would the bus driver do? Would someone notice that this was going to happen and try to pull me away? How would my family react?


I think it's because I am forever fascinated by human behaviour, and how different people react to different situations, the importance of context (white young women vs older unkempt male), etc. That's why I'm in the social sciences.


Or, we could just be weird [img]smileys/smilies_12.gif[/img]


*amber*

[kimmyc24]

Yeah thats EXACTLY it - driving along and you just think - what if I just did that or what If I just did that.. and sometimes if i'm standing waiting for the train in the platform I think, what if jump in front of it, and then I worry that my body will do it without my mind deciding to!


Okay I am SO Glad that i'm not alone with those what ifs!


Amber - I am also VERY interested in human behaviour and the way the human mind works and operates.. was going to go into Criminal physchology, but think i'd better get my own mind sorted out before I try to fix anyone elses!


I could sit and watch people for ages.. men vs women, children vs adults - children are good to watch because their minds aren't corrupted yet and they are so innocent and trusting! Body language is interesting too..

[hippychick]

I have those exact thoughts all the time, at first I thought I was extremely weird and didn't tell anyone but then I was talking to my friend with OCD and she says she can't walk near the road some days because she gets scared her body will just...throw her under a car and act out these thoughts. Visit any OCD board and it's a common thing. I'm not saying you have OCD, and people with OCD it's like a constant tape running through the brain, what I am saying is this is not a rare or strange thing, and not as rare as you would think. Most people just don't like to talk about it lol

[shiva]

I'm with ya. I get those thoughts too. I am sure your therapist can give you a logical explanation for why. I wouldn't worry much about it unless you are starting to test your curiosity and actually putting yourself in harm's way.

[samara's on tv]

I have those thoughts too, so you're definately not alone. There are trains that run through my city from the east side to the west side and I've found myself thinking "What if I jumped on the tracks when a train was coming?" I've also thought about being hit by a car if I just jumped into the middle of traffic. One of my weirder thoughts is actually about burning myself with a cigarette. I know I would never do these things but I think about doing them. It's not constant or anything but the thoughts do cross my mind.


~Monica

[kimmyc24]

Ok cool. Thanks guys I feel better now, knowing that i'm not alone in my 'weirdness'.


No Shiva I would never actually attempt any of the acts I think about! They're just that - thoughts!


Samara's on TV: I also used to wonder about burning myself with a ciggie (i've quit now) cutting myself on my leg or something.. very weird indeed..


Mine aren't constant either, I have them aseveral times a year.. my brother has them too so was just curious!

[silver]

You aren't "weird." I think that Hippychick is right in that it is very common to people with OCD. I have had thoughts that have even scared me at times, but I know that I have a tendency towards the OCD obsessive thinking. Thoughts are just thoughts...everyone has random thoughts to some degree...

[confusedgirl]

o I've had those too! I'm someone else interested in human behavior.. I don't get those thoughts often, but they happen. I remember sometimes, when I was in junior high espescially, and got bored in class, I would think "What would happen if someone entered the class with a gun right now to shoot us?" Then I would look around, plan a "just in case" escape route... it's weird. Though I do find myself still thinking like that occassionally...

[tink]

I have those thoughts all the time.. I always have. I just wrote it off as someone with an active imagination. [img]smileys/smilies_01.gif[/img]

The worst is thinking about swerving into oncoming traffic on the freeway..

--Kim

[kimmyc24]

lol ok well now i'm beginning to wonder if I have some mild OCD tendencies.. I know I do obsess over things but I don't do ANYTHING in any repetitive order or feel that if I don't do something something bad will happen as a result so i'm sure I don't have it lol! (except when I say 'I haven't been sick in ages' then I have to knock on wood just in case!)..


I think its just a curiosity thing or as Silver said, they're just thoughts.. and as humans (and Emets!) we have gazillions of those a day! Its just that I was wondering if those PARTICULAR thoughts were common or normal, and now I think/know they are! [img]smileys/smilies_08.gif[/img]

[bigemet]

It sounds like you may have a form of Tourette's Syndrome. Talk to a doctor/counsellor.

[spilled_milk]

I get those too. Like, I was in the backseat of my car and thought, "what would happen if I just opened the door?" because it wasn't locked. I knew i shouldn't, but i could feel my fingers itching to open it...i got kinda scared, so i locked it. I know i wouldn't do it, but still.


<3 Anya--

[Babydoll]

the only kind of thoughts I have like that were.. I wonder what it would be like if i was no longer here.. I was driving with my boyfriend the other day ( we're in the middle of a soon to be break up - but that's another story) and I thought, if i didn't exist, this seat would be empty and he would just be listening to music.


not thatI ever intend to do anything like that - but I think we all get these thoughts from time to time - I think its normal to wonder about humans and behaviour, thats what makes up different from other animals. we have that theory of mind - we know that others have the ability to think and that it might be different from what we are thinking at this exact moment - human behaviour is an amazing thing.


I also think thats why I study the social sciences, and why my minor is biology - disecting the human brain and relating it to emotional thought it one of the most facinating things I've ever learned about.


if these thoughts become repetitive, and happen all the time.. then maybe you should talk to a doctor about it..- it may be a sign of OCD.if they just happen every now and then.. I wouldn't worry about it -


*bigemet - as far as I know,tourette's has to do with uncontrollable tics- she can obviously control her body, even with these thoughts, so I wouldn't think that has anything to do with it. Edited by: Babydoll

[Galadriel]

To be honest I've had some bizzare thoughts like this, and I always think "man I must be a freak!" Whew glad to know I am not the only one. It scares me though cause I would be horrified and never do anything, its just the thought pops in your head "what if I....."?

[kimmyc24]

GEEEZZZ BigEmet I hope that isn't a sign of Tourettes! I don't have any random tics or sudden uncontrollable movements (except when i'm sleeping and get that 'falling' or 'landing' feeling) but I know thats normal!


Babydoll is right, I can control my body lol. My mind is another matter!


Babydoll: I'm sorry to hear that your relationship is rocky right now - mine isn't exactly great either - spent last week trying to decide whether to end it or not - but i'm too soft and chickened out - giving him 'one last chance'. hmmm...[img]smileys/smilies_12.gif[/img]


I also try to imagine my boyfriends lifeif we split up- I try andimagine what he would do- but I know deep down he needs someone and would probably go back to his ex or find someone else asap - he doesnt have ANY friends. Just me and his family. He has changed his whole lifestyle for me/us (leaving the Forces after 8 years) so we can have a 'normal' relationship without him being away. (Soz went off track here..)


I also wonder sometimes if I ended up in hospital, who would come visit me? Or I try to picture peeps at my funeral etc. Geez i sound so disturbed lol. these don't happen often or anything, but its just that I have thought them at some stage.[img]smileys/smilies_05.gif[/img]

[marieb73]

I get those feelings all the time. Usually at work. Like, "what if I just started screaming and turning things over". And in the car too. Sometimes I've been terrified that I will freak out at work.

[kimmyc24]

LOL. Us human beings sure are strange folk!! [img]smileys/smilies_12.gif[/img]

[tcsarah]

Wow, I have those'what would happen if'thoughts too! There is one friend I have that has an immaculate house and I always have this thought of how would she react if I suddenly threw the coffee mug full of coffee all down the wall. Of course I would never in my wildest dreams do it or even knock anything over accidently on purpose - it would horrify me if I made any messeven by accident - it's just I have this picture of how she would react, screaming at me and all. So weird.


Another weird thing I have that one of my friend's thinks is so funny, is I treated myself to a lovely new TFT screen last year which I treat so delicately and really look after yet, I have this bizarre thought that what if I threw black ink over it or slashed it with a knife. Ack, I'm crazy!!! I think my bizarre thoughts centre around worse case scenarios and the 'what would happen if'...'. ie I love this tft screen and don't want it to get damaged in any way so I think about how it would feel to damage it. Same with the friend's - I always feel like I have to be on my best behaviour when I'm with this one particular friend as she is so prim and proper, and everything is just so. So I picture myself messing up big style!


[img]smileys/smilies_19.gif[/img]

[kimmyc24]

Yeah I get ya on those too!


I think anything that is supposed to be 'a certain way' or is expected to be like something, we try to imagine our own and other people's response if we DIDNT do things that way.. just for sh*ts and giggles!! I think its like our own private jokes in our head.. ha ha wouldn't it be funny (or strange, or mad etc) if I did the following.... !!!


Like if Tony Blair suddenly started clucking like a chicken in a Labour party meeting or Gordon Brown/John Prescott croaking like a frog during a press conference lol!! (Ok now i'm being silly..)[img]smileys/smilies_08.gif[/img]

[tcsarah]

Exactly!!! Or the Queen suddenly blowing a raspberry in the middle of a speech, then singing 'I wanna have sex on the beach'...

[kimmyc24]

LOL!!!! [img]smileys/smilies_04.gif[/img]That would be hilarious!!! Go Ma'am!

[silver]

Kimmy-


It is highly unlikely that you have tourette's...My counselor told me that I had OCD with the way that I worry about things, the obsessive worrying. I do not, however, do any repitition, patterns, repeating stuff that is typical of the compulsive part of OCD. If it concerns you and you are having the thoughts a lot, then maybe consider seeing a counselor/doctor.


Big Emet- I don't thinkthat people on this board should make comments like that as YOU ARE NOT A MEDICAL DOCTOR...Sage doesn't diagnose people on this board ever. I think that most people on this board have a tendency to take things that are said like that and maybe worry about them. Maybe you should keep comments like that to yourself...Not trying to be harsh, but saying things like that may not be the most constructive way to help on this board.

[japa]

Nah.

It sounds like you may have a form of Tourette's Syndrome. Talk to a doctor/counsellor.

[japa]

These thoughts are not related to emet or being weird.


I don't have them really, but I talk to a non-emet friend, well centered, healthy and wonderful, and she has the one about driving into the wall on the freeway or driving off a bridge.


Don't worry about it.

[laneyb]

I work with a guy who has tourettes and he is the loveliest bloke in the world, it isjust something you get used to. He has funny little ticks, noises and can be mildly abusive but not to anyone, just in himself.


I DONT think that this is related to tourettes in any way.


I also have these kinda thoughts, I think its just the "bad" me trying to come out, (oooooohhhh what if I did something bad........) because most of the time Im very controlled and in control of my feelings and actions (even if inside Im an emotional wreck noone would know it)


Laney xx

[mothtoaflame]

I have those exact thoughts all the time, at first I thought I was extremely weird and didn't tell anyone but then I was talking to my friend with OCD and she says she can't walk near the road some days because she gets scared her body will just...throw her under a car and act out these thoughts. Visit any OCD board and it's a common thing. I'm not saying you have OCD, and people with OCD it's like a constant tape running through the brain, what I am saying is this is not a rare or strange thing, and not as rare as you would think. Most people just don't like to talk about it lol

Always talking about me, aint ya

Anyhow, this is definately a Symptom of OCD. Another example I have is from the other day. I was walking to work, anxious as usual - and I was walking across the barrowfields to bypass the busiest traffic. Anyhow, i know there is a cliff coming up towards the end, but it's like 5 minutes away, so I know I will be ok to walk a couple more minutes before I veor off to the pavement. Anyhow, on this particular day workmen were doing some work and there was orange plastic fencing in the distance. I freaked out thinking they had taken the permenant fencing down. I instantly thought to myself, "I can't walk any further because I know I will lose control and throw myself off the edge". I froze in a state of panic even though the barrier is at least a 2-3minute walk away ....... I had a choice. I either get off the fields and walk along a very busy road, or keep walking a bit further. i took a Beta Blocker to calm myself and I kept walking, slowly. Luckily, the permenant barrier was still there so I simply carried along until I got to the quieter part of the road. Anyhow, I babbled. But just wanted to let you know you are NOT alone with these crazy thoughts.

Karen.

[samara's on tv]

Speaking of weird thoughts see I also have one where I think about killing my sister's cat. LoL Okay don't get me WRONG I love that cat more then anything, it's just that SHE said that she would KILL me if I killed her cat so I'm just wondering like what she would do to me if I hurt her cat. Like I said I would NEVER EVER Hurt an animal...EVER...but like I think about what her reaction would be an everything. Please don't hate me *Ducks as people throw things at her*


~Monica