Nightime again

[curly wurly]

It is almost midnightand as usual I cannot sleep. My daughter has been sleepwalking again. Thats 2 Tuesday nights in a row. I think it must be because she is extra tired after her swimming lesson. She walked downstairs and asked for breakfast. I told her it was nightime and to go back to bed. She went straight back upstairs to bed. She seems to be sleeping soundly now.


I am feeling so anxious. My tummy feels in knots and I just can't relax. I am fine all day, then after my daughter goes to bed at 7.30 pm I start to worry about everything. I get so scared that 1 of my children will be ill in the night. I worry about my husband being at sea. I just want him to be safely home with us.. It is a dangerous job and I wish my husband had a normal onshore job. Everything seems so much worse at nightime. I can normally manage to be strong, but since my daughter had 2 v*bugs within a month I have been more anxious at night than ever. I am almost waiting for it to happen again.


Sorry to moan again. I just feel alone, emotional and tired. I am sure all will seem fine by the morning.

[hippychick]

It may be overtiredness. I know I have been sleepwalking in the past when over tired (my mum found me hehe) and last night my sister who hadn't slept more than 4 hours in 2 nights went to bed, jumped out 20 minutes later convinced she was late for work. Tiredness can play tricks on us lol


I'm so sorry the nighttime is so anxious for you, I can understand it with all you have been through. Maybe you need to start trying to do more positive things at night so you have good things to associate with.

[curly wurly]

Thankyou hippychick. I am sure it was over tiredness that caused my daughter to sleepwalk, since it was the same time last week that it happened. My daughter wakes up very early each day and is on the go until bedtime so it is not surprising that she is tired.


I think you are right about trying to associate positive things with nightime. I do seem to be thinking of nightime in a very negative way. I will try more positive thoughts.

[hippychick]

It's easy to slip into the thinking that everything happens at nighttime and also thats when your days ends really and you are given a chance to (over?) think about everything. I think maybe the key is to completely remove yourself from that. Do you like reading? is there a film you might want to see? Try to find something you want to do when the kids are in bed. Then during the day conciously remind yourself and tell yourself "Hey this film/book/tv show tonight is going to be GREAT" try to see it as your time in the evening. I know how hard it is not to listen for people moving and to be on alert. I've had to try SO hard to stop bugging my family anytime they move at night. It must be especially hard for you being alone, but we are all here for you honey.


Also is there anyone you could invite over for a girly night? A bit of a gossip just to take your mind off of things. Good luck with everything honey, I hope things pick up for you soon.

[curly wurly]

Thankyou again.


I do like to read, but i haven't done much reading in the evenings for a while. I seem to rush around when the children go to bed trying to catch up on any jobs which I have not done during the day. I think I will find myself a good book for tomorrow evening and try to forget about everything else. Most of my friends have young children so they find it hard to visit in the evenings. My mum used to visit a couple of evenings a week, but she is so tired since she started her chemotherapy and goes to bed so much earlier, but she has had her last chemo session now so hopefully she will soon be back to her old self.


Well everything seems quiet here now. My daughter has not got up any more so I think I may try to get some sleep. I am sure I will have my usual 5.30am call from a lively 6 year old. Thankyou again for your kind words and advice.

[lgood22573]

I understand exactly how you feel. I wish I could say something
worthwhile that would help your situation. I think reading is an excellent
idea, any type of hobby you enjoy that "engulfs" you. I like to paint and I
get "so into it" that I really don't think of anything else while I'm doing it.
Do you have anything you enjoy that much you could do?

[lgood22573]

I keep forgetting to ask what exactly does your husband do that he is
gone for that amount of time? If this question is to personal just don't
answer.

[curly wurly]

Thankyou Lisa for your kind words.


My husband is an officer in the Merchant Navy. He works on large container ships. Whe n I first met him 10 years ago the trips were shorter at either 8 weeks or a maximum os 12, but for the past 7 years it has changed and the shortest trip is about 14 weeks but usually my husband has to do at least 4 months at a time. Very occasionally the ship will come to England and we get to see him for a day, but not this time. All the ports are in Canada and the far East.

[lgood22573]

That must be really hard raising 2 children with your husband gone for
that amount of time. He must be missing out a lot on their childhood.

[curly wurly]

He does miss out on a lot. He missed both children's first steps and first words. He missed my daughter's first day at school. I took photos and sent them to my husband but it wasn't the same. When I send him emails each day to tell him what the children have been doing it sometimes makes me feel really sad that my husband misses out on so many things with the children. It makes me feel guilty that I am here and he is away at sea. When he comes home he has to get to know the children all over again.


On a more positve note, when he is home he gets about 8 or 9 weeks without having to work. We have lots of quality time as a family. It is just so hard for everyone when the time comes for my husband to join his ship.

[kate1966]

Curly, I do hope you are feeling better today...i cannot imagine raising kids with there dad not around...i know it's hard and tiring and you must feel alone..but you do have us here to help you through it. Take care of yourself, just wanted you to know i was thinking of you and hope that you are feeling better today[img]smileys/smilies_01.gif[/img]

[kimmyc24]

Hey Curly I just wanted to ask..


Have you been on the ivillage.com website for women?


They have a great support group and forum on there for women and families that have boyfriends and husbands that go away for long periods of time.


My boyfriend is in the British Army so since we've met he has been away quite a few times - First to Kenya for 3 months, then to Belize for 2 months.. he also has 1 or 2 weeks stints away to Salisbury and other training places in the UK - but the horrible thing about the army is that it is a sudden decision and there is NO getting out of it. Also, they sometimes cut off communication so that I don't here ANYTHING from him for 3 or 4 days at a time!!

[curly wurly]

Thank you for your kind words Kate. I have feltalright all day. it is just now it is night again that I am feeling anxious and longing for the morning. I am really tired but not relaxed enough to go to bed. I know my children are fine but still I worry about them. I think I am probably a bit too over protective. My husband always tells me I wrapmy childrenup in cotton wool, but when my husband is away I am probably even more protective as I am so scared of them becomming ill or getting hurt.


Thankyou Kimmy. I might just take a look at the support group. Sorry that you have to survive without your boyfriend when he has to go away. I sometimes go for a week without hearing from my husband when he is deep sea. Usually I am lucky though and get a few emails a week. I actually had an email today to say my husband is exactly halfway through his trip, so it is all downhill now. I am already counting the days.

[pookey30]

Curly Wurly,


I'm sending you a PM.


Karen


x

[andee]

Hi Curly,
You have lots of strength to care for the entire house while hubby is gone. I get afraid too, at night, and I find that I sleep with a pillow over my head so I won't hear anything! LOL. It seems like once you are a mom, you sleep very lightly.
And my hubby has good hours but I still worry when he is late. I think I depend on him too much. It's hard when you are fearful. You are doing a great job. Just keep thinking when he returns.....you can rest!!!

[kate1966]

Curly...glad to hear you are doing alittle better.....though i don't know how you do it with your husband gone so far away and for so long...you have amazing strenght...probably more than you even know. Keep up the good work...and i think you know deep down, that you will do what you have to do for your kids.....that's why God made us women....b/c we can handle situations and kids with such inner strength.....you have it in you......we all do, but sometimes we just find it difficult to see it. I wish you the best until your hubby returns..and as i said before, you know we are always here for you anytime!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Kate