How to cope with emetophobia in pregnancy

[ladymoonlight]

I am 9 weeks pregnant with my first and having a terrible time of it! I feel s* morning noon and night and it won't go away.


I have been emetophobic since I was a teenager and it destroyed my chance of living a normal life. I also became very ill due to not eating and was treated for anorexia in my early 20s because of it. I became severly agoraphobic with it and needed years of intense counselling to even get me out of the house! As a result I lost nearly my entire teens and my early 20s to the phobia.


Have not been s* yet in this pregnancy (luckily) but feel s*24/7. Iam so scared I can't go to work or go out or do anything. As a result of me not working we are having severefinancial problems and my relationship is under strain, plus I'm having problems with my other half's mother who thinks I'm just '"being lazy".


I also have a phobia of hospitals and am terrified of labour, not because of the pain but because of the v*!!! I am terrified of the sight of hospital s* bowls and after having a laparoscopy last November I actually threw one accross the room to get it away from me. Scared the nurse a bit!


Does anyone have any stories about emetophobia in pregnancy and how to cope?Edited by: ladymoonlight

[surfjunkie]

I am the mother of 2 little ones and have been emet. for lots of years
before them. I was nervous of morning sickness with both, but through
both pregnancies, I never v* once...not even during labor. I was very n*
for the first 12-14 weeks with each. I used lots of "home remedy" type
things to try to relieve it. I took my prenatal vitamins before bed. I found
success with those travel bands that people use for motion s*. I also
made sure that I always had a little something to eat, even if it was just
crackers. I found that Jolly Ranchers helped to suck on, I also tried ginger
candy (ok, but not the most effective for me) and peppermint tea. (I
made it into iced tea.) I found that it wasn't just morning for me either.
With my first, it was from 4 pm until I went to bed. With my second, it
was from the minute I woke up until the minute I went to bed.

You will most likely feel better and be able to enjoy your pregnancy.
When you feel that little one move for the first time, you will see that it is
worth it.

As for labor, by that time, I found that I was so excited to have the baby
that I was ready to go through anything to have it. I never felt n* at all,
and I had challenging deliveries (I'm tiny...from being emet!) But, it was
soooooooo worth it. I would do it all over again a million times.
NOTHING beats being a mom!!!!

Congratulations and best of luck! Try to enjoy every minute of it all. It
goes so quickly and it is a precious time of your life. Take good care of
yourself and that baby.........those are your #1 priorities right now!!!!!! [img]smileys/smilies_01.gif[/img]

[jodi054]

my 1st 2 pregnancys were ok my 3rd i felt sick all the time i used sea bands that you can buy from boots which i thought helped alot .... fresh air wasanother biggy for me helped alot if i was sitting by an open window etc .....





congratulations !! [img]smileys/smilies_01.gif[/img]

[marby]

Another vote for the sea bands during the morning sickness phase. I used them pretty much all the time until around the end of the third month. They worked like a charm. I also agree that having a little something in your stomach helps - don't let yourself get hungry.


About the labor - I had the same fears. I didn't feel any n* at all. I think most poeple get n* during heavy labor, and if you have an epidural, you won't feel anything at all.


Try not to worry about it and enjoy the pregnancy. It was truly one of the best times of my life - sorry those days are over for me!

[ladymoonlight]

Thanks everyone. This a long awaited pregnancy as I was trying to conceive for 8 years with my ex husband (he didn't want to go for fertility treatment as didn't really want children, so we divorced. I've been trying with my new partner for 2 years so thats 10 years in all!) I had not wanted a child in my early 20s, mainly due to my phobia, but as I got older the desire to be a mother got too strong.


I'm 34 and my partner is 23 - we live in South Wales, UK. We had recently been told our only hope of having a baby was IVF with ICSI, and as we can't afford to pay privately and the NHS only allow one free cycle of IVF in South Wales (for which there is a 3 year waiting list!) I had lost all hope of having children. This pg was a total shock and a delight!


I started feeling s* as soon as I got my positive preg test - my mother thinks I it may have been "all in my mind" but I am not imagining how I am feeling right now! Its awful!


Partner tries to ber understandig but doesn't really understand. He is at least playing the "reassurance" game that my ex used to play with me - ie


Me: I feel awful. I think I'm going to v*


Him: You won't v*


We play this on a daily basis now! Ex was better at it as he was older, but my partner does his best!


I've been prescribed cyclizine for the n* bymy GP as I'm having such trouble coping with it. But its not working - I actually think it makes me feel worse, so I'm stopping taking it. I'm also trying to come off the Paroxetine (Paxil in America) which I've been on for nearly 10 years!!!!


V* in labour really scares me - I am going to have to really hammer it home to the midwife about my phobia. I won't be able to cope with an insensitive type who reacts to me saying I feel n* by giving me a s* b*! I'd panic and throw it at her like I did to the nurse at my laparoscopy! [img]smileys/smilies_02.gif[/img]I will need a shot of something to stop the n* before I will be able to get on and cope with the birth.


I have a real terror of hospitals (especially being in a ward with others in case someone else v* near me) and am petrified of even the sight of hospital s* bowls, When my partner severely sprained both ankles in a fall and had to be taken to casualtyI was a shaking wreck every time I saw one! They even gave him one as he was feeling s* and shaky from the painand I made him hide it under his jacket while he sat in a wheelchair waiting to be xrayed! I felt so bad afterwards! Plus it was Saturday night and casualty was full of people who were drunk so I was terrified someone would v*!!! I nearly sent my partner to the hospital on his own but as he was in agony and couldn't walk I had to be brave. It made me feel so selfish because he was in so much pain and all I could think about was my stupid phobia.


Partner's mum is being really insensitive - she does not understand emetophobia and can't understand why I'm at home all the time and not working etc. Her reaction is "you haven't v* so whats the problem?". Its no use trying to explain, she's so close minded.


The drs who performed my laparoscopy were very understanding when I broke down crying and explained my phobia - they got me a special low side effect General Anaesthetic which causes minimal n* and gave me a shot of Maxalon when I woke up feeling n*. There was just that one nurse giving me the s* b* when I told her I felt n* and that upset me a lot. I just wanted the injection.


Are drs and midwives usually understanding about things like this? I've heard some midwives can be very matter of fact and would just hand me a s*b* rather than running to get me an anti-n* injection shouldI feel n*Edited by: ladymoonlight

[dreamer]

Hi Ladymoonlight


The first thing I did at my ante-natal appointments was explain to the midwife about my emet. She was very understanding, as were all the hospital staff I dealt with. With my first baby I had an emergency Caesareanunder epidural, and didn't have any n* or v*. Second time around, I went into labour six hours before I was due to be induced. When they asked me what pain relief i wanted, I said "anything that won't make me v*!" and they gave me gas and air, which helped right up to my epidural. I didn't have any n* or v* during labour either.


I totally agree with you about s*b*s. (Don't you think that those hospital ones look like cardboard bowler hats?) I can't stand the thought of using anything other than a toilet to v* in.


I had n* for the first fourteen weeks, but it only got bad if I let myself get too hungry. I'm sorry your mother-in-law isn't more supportive. The last person I'd want to offend would be the woman who's carrying my grandchild! I'm sure you'll be fine once you get past the first three months. There's a lot of support here if you need it!

[suze]

Eat little and often during these early weeks, whatever you can stomach, it really does help. Try grating some ginger into hot water too, and sip it like tea, it will help the nausea. I was nauseous throughout both my pregnancies but never v*, so just cos you feel bad, it doesn't mean you'll be sick. I was also fine throughout both labours.


I'm from South Wales too - which hospital do you plan to go to? Send me a private message and let me know where you are, I might be able to give you some advice then - both my kids were born at the University Hospital in Cardiff.

[6pksummer]

You should be a little better after your fist 3 months. Try eating saltines and drinking some water before you even get out of bed in the morning.

[confusedgirl]

Congratulations!! Sorry I can't help you, I've never been pregnant (I am really looking forward to having children someday though, it sounds amazing, I just think I'm too young now at 18... these posts are very inspiring!)

[wilmcell]

Hello Lady Moonlight!


I am a newbie! I have suffered and lived with Emet for oh let me see,,,,,,,,,,,ever! No I realized how scared I was with my last v*t when I was in 6th grade! I said to myself I would never be able to have children. Not because I didn't wan them but because I didn't want the morning sickness. Well my now 3 year old daughter was a surprise to me! I wasn't sick at all with her queesy at best but as all of you emets must know I would take a little queesy over a lot n**us any day. So I get going into the pregnancy and realize I am doing fine. I truly and forgive me for the comment I am about to make think that morning s** is a state of mind. I just didn't want to have it or believed I was strong enough not to. Don't ask me this worked for me. I also had altoids!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Peppermint stomach settling goodness, by my side at all times even into labor. Listen to me believe these works for n* and they will! They have done it for me through everything and my midwife said what an interesting idea to bring those with you to delivery I may recommend that to my other patients. So halfway into my pregnancy I realized during a trip with braxton hix to the maternity ward that some women v* in the trasition stage of labor. I saw it first hand with a woman walking the halls. I was mortiphied as I had never realized this. So this started me on a new kick as I approached my due date. I believed I would have my baby at night. Of course I didn't know but anyway I wouldn't eat from 5pm on because I was sure this would work to give me and empty stomach. Well on the day of I went to b king and got the big fish. I was having the same old braxton hix false contractions that I had forever and then poof lost the plug. Now this can happen and leave you walking around for another week but for me, it was the sign. I went and was monitored and then poof water broke! Stomach was good and empty by then and I love that empty acidy feeling means nothing solid is in there. I feel clean as sick as that sounds. Well I went to 7cm in the hot tub and then said okay enough is enough! Listen to me stay away from stadol they told me this would take the edge off and I wouldn't feel sick. It made me ill didn't v*t but I panicked. After the initial big dose wore off I was fine and relaxed then I wanted my epidural. HEAVEN Pain gone! So I started to feel na**s and demanded Phenergen a must for any ladies labor and delivery absolute god send as it took my na**s right away. Then I focused and it was over with. I held my little cherub in my arms and that was it 1 emet preggers survived!


Then came baby number two who is now 9.5 months old. She gave me problems from day one no sickness though same as the last little queesy. Very doable. Same regimen Altoids etc... I actually had preterm with her which they used a horrible drug to stop and I made it through that with the help of phenergen. So at 37 weeks along she came I will tell you quite sadly that I had ga*ged during last labor nothing happened just that and I was petrified this time. So I had my game plan. I was already 3 cm dialated for weeks before I had her I started eating only one big meal a day I know very wrong. I told my midwife of it and told her it was because I was a little ill those last few weeks. She assured me not to worry that the baby would steal from me whatever she needed. I did the most wrong thing in the world and almost starved the last 2 weeks in hopes not to be full when I went into labor. My water broke at 12 am we were at the hospital by 115am I started heavy labor by 3am after taking a shower and walking some I had my epidural didn't even think I needed it and then I just sat back and joked and laughed with my family until someone said it time to push. I said give me my Phenergen which they had ready because they knew about my phobia they did as I asked! I pushed for 10 minutes and baby was here at 606am. Pregnancy 2 defeated.


It's not so bad. Do realize though that you will have to step it up. Because now you have a person look

[sage]

Hi Moonlight,


Your story reminds me so much of me when I was pregnant(my youngest is now 21 years old!) It was very terrible. I can't imagine going back to that way of feeling (now I'm completely anxiety-free) I especially remember the basins, etc triggering extreme anxiety and I wouldn't go anywhere near hospitals. My labour/childbirth/hospital stays were a nightmare. (Even though I didn't get sick and didn't see anyone else sick)


If you even had a counsellor or therapist to talk to during all this it would help. I wouldn't recommend starting a treatment program now, as it would be too emotionally difficult, but a confidant would help the anxiety some. (I imagine the nausea you feel is 50% anxiety at least, and if you could find a way to be calmer it would dissipate some.)


I wouldn't worry about labour at all. I've never heard of an emetophobe with as extreme a fear as you vomiting during labour. It's basically a mental thing anyway - not like a woman giving birth is sick...it's just emotional upset or whatever. Whatever it is, it isn't something that affects emetophobes. So try to stay as calm as possible.


It might help if your partner read the info on the Treatments section of this forum - to understand the phobia a little better. I can understand what he's thinking in saying "you won't vomit", but that's not all that helpful is it? Perhaps let him know that he should say, "I'm so sorry you're upset. Is there anything I can do for you?" Honestly, if you tell him to say that then when you hear it from him you'll feel better - more supported.


Take care now!

[andee]

Hi Ladymoonlight, Congratulations...I just want to reiterate what everyone said. NEVER let yourself get too hungry. Even if you don't feel like it, eat something you can handle. Always tell your midwife, DR, etc. I worried about v* during labor and they gave me compazine for baby 1 and Reglan for Baby 2. No problem. I was n* during both pregs and scared too, but I took Phenergan and also layed down like you. Don't feel bad if people don't understand...TOO BAD. It's bad enough to be emet, you don't need to worry about others. I promise you it will all be worth it. Keep us posted....You should be feeling better in a few more weeks ( l know that sounds long!)...</font>

[donna1216]

I agree, don't let your tummy get empty and get the sea sickness bands. I used them w/ my 3rd baby last year!! They are great!! Just keep telling yourself you won't be sick!!!


Congratulations and welcome!!

[tcsarah]

I've never had kids, but my cousin has just had a baby and she had the worst morning (afternoon and night!) sickness ever. It lasted the whole of her pregnancy too - seems to be that it runs in our family as my other cousin was the same and she became so dehydrated she had to be hospitalised. Gawd, I dread getting pregnant myself as I might be the same! Anyway, my cousin tried everything from seabands to ginger biscuits, but the thing that helped her the most was eating a packet of mini cheddars first thing in the morning when she got up. Having a salty snack before you do anything else at the start of the day was recommended on so many sites on the internet so I think it's well worth a try.


I feel for you regards your partner's mum being cold and dismissive of your phobia. I too had a big struggle with agoraphobia in my teens and twenties and got fed up and upsetwith certain members of my family telling me to 'pull myself together'. Do they really think we enjoy feeling this way and would they tell somebody with a broken leg to stop being so silly and get up and walk on it - that's how stupid it is telling somebody with mental health problems is to just get over it. If people haven't ever suffered anxiety disorders or depression they just don't understand andso tend to beignorant and say unsupportive, hurtful things. You can try and educate them but sometimes they just don't get it, so it's best to try and ignore their comments.


Oh and I am on paroxetine too and have been for six years. I also hate those horrible cardboard recepticles they have at the hospital for v*. I used to have a panic attack at the mere thought of visiting somebody in hospital but I have had so many close friends and relatives critically ill in hospitalswith terminal illnesses and have spent hour afterhour with them I amnowused to them. Won't ever get used to those cardboard thingies though!


On a positive note, you have so much to look forward to regards being pregnant.So many women absolutely glow at this time! My cousin may have suffered horrible morning sickness but now the baby is here I have never seen her as happy, she is in her absolute elelment being a mother! And this coming froma girl who was not maternal at all and whose pregnancy was a mistake (she was on the injectable form of the pill, apparently the most reliable form of contraception)but for some reason still got pregnant. The father doesn't want to know so she is a single mother, but she's loving every minute of it!


Anyway, sorry for waffling on. Take care x

[sassenacch]

hello, i just wanted to add my congratulations to the chorus, but also to say, if you get a midwife (which, if i ever had kids i would NEVER go to a hospital unless i was in an emergency) i would most definitely have a midwife &amp; a home birth or go to a birthing center. BUT, if you do so, your midwife should be completely understanding about your emet - if they did such a thing as matter-of-factly handing you a s*b* then they are not the midwife you want. someone who is helping you birth a child should be supportive. it's why i hate hospitals the most - they're too clinical.

[tanyarn]

Lady- One of themain reasons I never wanted kids because of the m/s. However, I got pregnant and was sick, like you, for the first 10-11 weeks of my pregnancy.. I didn't v* but I was n* and felt like crap 24/7. I had to eat in order to feel better. Many women are different. Some can't eat at all because the sight of food makes them n* and other need to eat to rid themselves of the feeling. If you haven't gotten sick by now you most likely will not. Around 9-10 weeks of pregnancy your progesterone is the highest. This hormone levels off after 11 weeks so you should be fine. Thats the main reason for m/s in pregnancy- the hormone levels. You probably have heard of other women say they were sick there whole pregnancy. I believe women like this get sick very easily even w/out being pregnant. I would not worry about comments like that. As for labor and v*. I had an epidural free labor and did not feel like v* once nor was I n*. I was scared about htis the whole time I was pregnant. I heard people say women that get no epidural v* more than ones that do. I, infortunately could not get one, not my choice, because I had blood clots late in my pregnancy and was on blood thinner (whole other story). I bared it and I made it and didn't fell sick once. I can even remember thinking while I was pushing, "Wow you don't even feel like v*." My sister had an epi. with both of her pregnancies and said she felt like v*. So I think its just the person not whether or not you have an epi. My sister said she felt sick after they gave her the epi. so I don't know of that caused it or it was just a psychological thing. I think she thought she felt n* with her second necause she felt that way with her first and she was just 'preparing' herself to feel that was again since she did the first time.


I wouldn't worry too much. You'll be fine. I would just avoid greassy foods and drink a lot alot of water. Indigestion os no fun and I have known women who had gotten sick when they had real bad indigestion.


As for what people think-screw um. You don;t need to explain yourself to anyone. I felt before I was weird for having this phobia and was embarassed for people to know. Now I look at myself as being unique. Hey, I practice good sanitary manners and take health precautions. Nothing wrong with that:O)


Good luck:O)

[ladymoonlight]

Hi everyone, thanks so much for your replies, it really helps to hear your experiences!


Tanya, your morning s* sounds like mine. I have to eat to feel better. Sometimes I eat really rubbishy junk food that is so unhealthy (like McDonalds) and it makes me feel better - it makes no sense!!!


Sometimes I feel so bad I think I am going to v* but I usually manage to control it.


I have been prescribed cyclizine but as I've said, they are not much use. The self help and natural remedies are useless too


Here in South Wales, midwives are actively promoting home births. Being terrified of hospitals I am currentlyentertaining the idea although I have always been a bit scared of the thought and am slightly worried about emergencies and getting to hospital in time. My midwife suggested a home birth when I told her about my phobia and assured me that as I have no outstanding health problems and if my pregnancy goes OK its no more risky than having a baby in hospital.


Many UK mums are having their babies in Birthing Centres anyway which are just like being at home - there are no doctors or emergency facilities or epidurals, its just midwives and gas and air! I think this sort of "medical-free" birth is being promoted for low risk mums who aren't expected to need specialist care as it frees up the NHS resources and beds for those who genuinely need them.


If these places are so safe do you think this type of birth would be etter for someone who freaks at the mere thought of being an in-paitent in hospital and would try to hold off from as much pain medication as possible to avoid s*? I'm actually more scared of the s*than the pain!


My mum was never s* in labour but then she never had morning s* either (lucky!) so I'm not sure if I'll follow her. I always beleived I'd escape the morning s* because my mum did but it seems not to be inherited like that!Edited by: ladymoonlight

[mommyof3]

I have been pregnant four times, one miscarriage and three deliveries, and I never once v* from m/s or during labor and delivery. And my last one was a c-section under general anesthesia!


I had morning sickness until 14 weeks with all three (never did with the one I miscarried--feeling sick is a GOOD thing--means your hormones are at the right levels). I sucked on lemon drops a lot (stored them in the refridgerator) and tried to eat small meals throughout the day instead of three big ones. One morning right around the beginning of your 2nd trimester you will wake up and think, "holy cow, I feel GOOD!" I also found I felt yuckier when I was tired. Make sure to get enough sleep. And don't feel guilty if someone makes dinner for you and you can't eat it. I remember trying to gag down something my sil made and then another time something my mom made and it made me feel so horrible. And it wasn't bad food, just both made with corn and for whatever reason I couldn't handle corn LOL!!!!


Congratulations!

[ladymoonlight]

*sigh*


My Other Half has just told his &amp;*($&amp;"* mother about my ideafor ahome birth and (as she is the world authority on EVERYTHING to do with birth and babies and knows way more than any midwife or doctor ever could) she's ranting down the phone about how I shouldn't have a home birth "with my first" and how I must "go to hospital".


The woman is a total nightmare. Its no use trying to explain my phobia to her I might as well talk to a brick wall. If I ignore her "expert" advice and choose a home birth anyway I'll no doubt be reckless, selfish and irresponsible and putting her grandchild's life at risk.


Dunno what to do.


mommyof3 I wish someone WOULD make dinner for me! Part of my problem is getting hungry and not having the energy to prepare anything - or there's nothing in the house ad I don't feel well enough to go shopping. Other half never cooks and I just don't feel up to it!Edited by: ladymoonlight