Been like this since I can remember

[lifelongemetic]

I remember my first day of kindergarten. I got myself ready for school, packed a lunch, and took off. Oh, by the way, my lunch was a tiny square of an egg salad sandwich. I have more of a fear of v* in social settings. Especially, if they are new settings. My fears overcome me at my parents dinner table, work, with friends, with my two year old daughter or husband. Typically, I overcome my fear when I am in an environment for a long period of time andI don't have a choice but to be there. For example, high school, basic training, etc. I always start out a mess, though. SometimesI can be sitting on my couch in my house alone,start worrying about something, and have an attack. What makes it all the worse, is that I amslender. I have NEVER starved myself, EVER, EVER. I amnot anorexic or bulemic, but because I amand have always been skinny, people who don't know me think I have a problem. But they just don't know and wouldn't understand my fear ofv*. If I told them they would think I was crazy. That iswhy Ijoined thisforum. Does anyone else have similar symptoms or feelings or get accused of being anorexic. The latter is what bothers me the most. Sometimes I wish I was fat. I guess I would blend intosociety better.

[mommyof3]

Welcome to the site. I'm sorry you're suffering with this, but glad you found us.


I don't have the problem of being too thin, but a lot of people here do and pegged as anorexic by therapists when they really are not.


When you mentioned kindergarten, was that the first time you remember being an emet? Did you v* from the egg sandwich? Why were you getting yourself ready and making your own lunch at five years old?

[daffodil]

Welcome. [img]smileys/smilies_01.gif[/img]

[lifelongemetic]

mommyof3...Yea, kindergarten was the first time I can remember. I didn't v*, but I was afraid I was going to and then die. Also, I liked to make my own lunch b/c I knew my Mom would make me pack more if she knew I was just packing a tiny sandwich. I told me Mom at about 7 years old that I was afraid of v* and dying. She was supportive and said I would eat when I wanted to and I wouldn't die. Well, obviously I am not dead yet. So, I guess she was probably right.


As a baby, toddler, etc., she said I was very skinny. So, maybeI was just meant to be that way. But I don't like it.


I eatverywell (typically when I am by myself), so I try to stay away from people as much as possible when I eat. I am healthy, strong, active, and generally happy. I just don't lilke having a fear ofv*.