Well last year at the start of the summer it must have been i started to go to a physciatrist, the first one i saw i didn't really talk to as to be honest he scared me and was really hard on me, so then i got changed to a woman one. I was going there because of the depression and feeling suicidal, and they put it down as manic depression. Then i wasn't eating loads, but i was eating enough, i mean my diet was still things like toast, cereal, mash and biscuits and sometimes ice cream, but i was eating and drinking enough to keep me going and i still went out, ran around and i had energy and all.When i started seeing this woman physciatrist she suddenly focused on my eating and said i wasn't eating enought to keep me alive..when i think at the time i was, or at least i could have built on it, i asked her then could i have some anti-emetics for a safety guard so i could eat as then it was the fear of v* whyi didn't eat as much, and then i would have starting eating more, because i could have built on what i was eating, but she refused too, she then kept focusing on it, all the time, weighing me every time i went there and i became so aware of what i was eating that i cut back, i used to have toast all the time, but every week i would suddenly cut back.

A few months ago i went into hospital as some people may know from my other posts. Well it went to just eating 3 or 4 low fat rich tea biscuits and two small cups of tea a day, i couldn't get out of bed or even shower from having no energy, untill one night i kind of went and fainted, i got taken into hospital where they said my ecg was abnormal and i stayed in hospital on a drip for a day. I then came out and said i would start eating which i didn't, i would still only eat biscuits, i then spoke to a woman who's friend had an eating disorder and wrote a book about it, she gave me the book and i sat and read the whole thing.

That day i made myself eat a bowl of rice and tuna aswell as my biscuits, it hurt my stomach, but i just had to go through it i guess. The nest day i woke and said i can't do it again, it hurt my stomach to much, i then saw my mum having some cereal, i went into the kitchen, made some cereal and made myself eat it, then at lunch i forced myself to eat two bits of toast, i then started dry heeving and had pains in my stomach as it wasn't used to it. The next day i forced myself to eat again, knowing that i may v* or have a stomach ache. Well that was the first day i had v* from not v* in 3 years. I v* twice, then my mum told me to come down to the hospital to have an anti-emetic injection because where i was v* it was hurting my stomach further. So i had a stemetil injection and didn't v* again. They gave me some antoacid medicene to stop the stomach pain, so i took two of them, which didn't help, so i went back down there as it was getting worse, they checked me over and said it may be my appendics, so i got taken into hospital, they then gave me 2 paradol tablets, took them and the pain still didn't go off. They then gave me an injection of i think its called tramadol. After a while i feel asleep, it was about 4am in the morning. They then woke me up and i felt better. I then started to feel sick again, so the nurse gave me a reglan(sp) tablet. Later on i had an ultra sound scan to see what was going on in my stomach, it showed nothing, everything was fine. It got put down to just to much acid which i thought in the first place. I then began feeling sick again as the tablet i had in the morning had worn off as it was about 3pm. The nurse then gave me another reglan tablet, took that and it went off. It got to about 5 and my neck suddenly started to turn on its own to the side, i couldnt control it, it was like just turning side ways and i couldn't even stop it. My thought was that i had just slept funny and my neck had just got stiff. I then managed to stop it for a bit, but every so often it would turn again. I started to feel rather sleepy and like out of it, but i just thought i was tired. I got let out at about 6, so i went h