oh.my.god.

[shiva]

I have no idea what to think of this one... I don't even know where to start. My daughter had a bowling thing with the girl scouts today and I wasn't sure that I would be back to pick her up in time so I asked one of her friend's moms if she could pick Jade up and I would pick her up at her home. She agreed and said that Jade could stay as long as she wanted becuase she (the mom) wasn't feelin too great, had Taco Bell and was up all night being sick (sounded like diarrhea, so I didn't worry too much. Who doesn't get that after some good ol' taco hell?) Still, I was quick to get Jade from the home because I was a little worried about the situation.


When I picked her up, the kids asked if the other little girl could come shopping with us. My first instinct was to get theheck away from this kid and this mom because the mom was now having chills and said she wanted to throw up. (this family knows nothing about my problem). I challenged my emetophobic thinking and said sure, she could come, but told the mom that we would have her back in just a couple of hours.


We were 20 minutes away from home and I heard the little girl tell Jade that her stomach hurt. I turned around and asked what the problem was. She said that she needed air. I asked if she was car sick, she didn't know. I asked if she was gonna v*, she said no. I asked if she needed to poo, she said no. We hauled ass home, me asking her every 10 seconds how she felt. She told me that once the windows were down she was fine, but being emetophobic, I didn't trust her. I called ahead and told her older brother that she was being brought home because she wasn't feeling too great and dropped her off at home at which point she ran into the house.


Okay.. Here's the thing. Every time we are around this kid, it's like a curse. Last weekend while I was picking my daughter up from her home I was in a car accident, once when we were at dinner with her, she spilled ice water on my lap. She's the one who showed up at Girl Scouts last year with all of the capilaries broken in her face because she had been sick the previous day. I just have a crap load of negative experiences that I associate with this friend of my daughter.


So of course. Now I am worried like crazy. Do the mom and daughter have a sv? Or did the mom's taco bell and mc donalds (that she had today at noon) coctail just not settle well with the mom and the little one got car sick from playing cards in the car with my daughter? I asked her if she gets car sick often and she said no, but she had one time from drawing. I couldn't tell if she was sick or if I was upsetting her from asking so many questions.


Logically I can tell myself so many things...


1) It doesn't matter why either one of them were sick, we probably come into contact with sv's every day and don't know it. Our bodies will fight it off.


2) Worrying about it now will not help anything.


3) Just be glad I got her home, she's gone now and no longer my responsibility.


4) I can't control the world of germs.


5) Even if they have sv's, I am still not doomed... neither is my daughter.


6) Even if they do have a sv, I have been around sick people in the past and not gotten sick, so what makes me think my daughter or myself will get sick this time?


So what else can I do to stop this feeling I am having. I am not quite panicking, but I am on the verge. I feel so frustrated and pissed. I feel like I am going to jump out of my skin. I want to stop thinking about it and go on with my life, I was actually having not too bad a day before this.


Suddenly I am having one of those moments where I feel that being me sucks and there is no way I will be able to handle being a mother again.

[kate1966]

I would have reacted the exact same way myself...you didn't do wrong by taking her home...really. I think that you shouldn't call her mom, unless you just feel you have to. They will forget all about it soon. Bless your heart...sounds like they are cursing you somehow......i think you handled yourself in the best way you could. K

[californiagirl]

Wow SHIVA, have you heard anything else yet on their conditions?


I totally understand how you feel. Let me see if I can help a bit.


RE:


Your #1): That is true, sometimes what we don't know won't hurt us, right? Just try to train yourself into thinking, "what if the mom had never said anything about her tummy, and most likely, the little girl was woozey from looking down and playing cards in the car".


#2): True again. Enjoy your day and your daughter. Why don't you 2 go out and get an ice cream or something?


#3): Yep, and be thankful that she didn't V* in your car. If it makes you feel better, just lysol the area she sat in.


#4): Wouldn't it be nice if we could? Again, what we don't know won't hurt us.


#5): Right, because you two weren't close enough to share any germs with them.


#6): Right. For all you know, the little girl may be just fine and the mom just has to rid her body of laxative-food.


Maybe you can call her to ask how they're doing? If the girl wasn't feeling well, she was better off at home anyways, not walking around shopping, so you did her a favor by taking her to where she'd be more comfortable.


It's warm outside, go out and enjoy yourselves! You certainly deserve it after working so much.[img]smileys/smilies_01.gif[/img]Edited by: californiagirl

[daffodil]

I wouldn't worry about the mom thinking you're nuts. Nobody wants to deal with someone else's sick kid. You were very brave to take the girl shopping after the mom told you she felt sick, and I'm sure you will be fine, as she was not sick around you or your daughter. I hope you enjoy your day!

[curly wurly]

I would have done exactly the same thing. In fact when I had my 5 year old niece to stay the night and she complained of a tummy ache I made my husband drive her home in the middle of the night. It ended up she just needed the toilet but I was not going to take the risk. My sister was not too pleased and still teases me about it. I think you and your daughter will be fine as you were not in contact with any v* and hopefully the littlr girl was just carsick and the mum had just eaten foods which disagreed with her.

[shiva]

Thanks so much everyone. I am feeling much better. I get paranoid thoughts every hour or so, but I have managed to go about my day and even eat dinner : )


Again, thanks for the helpful words.

[csjones]

Gosh, I feel so sorry for you. I hate that "cursed" feeling. My best friend of all people strikes me as causing things to go wrong in my life after seeing her. It's odd! I really think you have a super low chance of catching anything, though.

[shiva]

Thanks. I am sure we will not catch anything. At least I hope we won't. I am actually starting to feel really bad for the little girl. I think she was crying in the back seat. I thougt at the time it was because she wasn't feeling well, but now I wonder if it was because I made her feel weird. Sometimes I really hate myself. Should I have my daughter call and check on her? Or will that just perpetuate more fear in myself?

[californiagirl]

I would check on her if I were you. Maybe you can talk to her? She was probably crying because she didn't feel good and was uncomfortable in someone else's car. How old is she?

[mjewell]

Maybe she was claustrophobic or a little anxious?? That was my first thought when reading this thread. When I was young (and emetophobic and anxiety ridden) I would often make a big deal about needing to have the windows open and sitting in the front seat of the car when i was in anyone other than my parents' cars. I just got really nervous and panicky and was so afraid of getting sick, even though i never got carsick. Who knows, maybe the girl has a little vomit anxiety of her own?

[japa]

What is your friend thinking when she feels sick after Taco Bell and then adds McDonald's to the mix? Gosh, that would give me pain like you wouldn't believe. It sounds like that concoction could be the cause of the problems, though of course, we can never know for sure.


I bet that the little girl was carsick from playing cards.


I agree with all of the thoughts that you posted here.


I'm not sure whether your daughter should call your friend or not. I wonder if maybe you could just try to relax tonight and then check up tomorrow.

[shiva]

Last night as I was feeling really bad about how I reacted, but also in a moment of panic from the events earlier in the day, I had my daughter call their home to check on her. No one answered. I told Jade just to apologize at school tomorrow.


I did find myself counting hours today, wondering when I will let my guard down and stop feeling anxiety about whether the girl had a virus and we might get sick from her. I hate when this happens. I don't even consciously think about it, I just find myself with these thoughts on my mind.

[shiva]

Now my fiance has the poops....


Why are we like this?

[shiva]

Today Jade told me that the girl was just car sick and felt fine after she was home. Whew...

[silver]

I totally understand the anxiety here...it sucks!! I don't know how else to describe it...the feeling paniced being around someone that is sick, but feeling like a jerk because you don't want to be around them, making yourself "just deal with it" and be around them because you feel like it is a good step towards fighting your emet, but then worrying lately with terrible anxiey. I HATE the whole scene of it. One thing that we all pretty much have in common is the beating ourselves up for the way that we feel. Feeling like we are crappy people because we can't "deal" with it. I think that adds to the anxiety, feeling like we alienate our friends and family because of this stupid fear. Mine started acting up AGAIN today. My boss told me that one of our coworkers IN ANOTHER CITY 300 MILES AWAY was sick. I started thinking about it and made it into a big deal "Oh my God, its going around again..." I hate this part of me too, I think that we all do. What's important is that you got through it and you and your daughter are fine. Any mother emet or not would have taken a kid that felt sick home, you didn't do anything wrong and don't need to appologize for it.