Well I made it!

[violet]

well ive got here in once piece, but im having the worst utter time ever at the moment, i feel like sh**, im tired i havent slept ive hardly ate, ive had way over 40 panic attacks I feel n* constantly, I cant settle I miss my mum terribly totally really really really missing her so so much!!

Ive just ate dinner, and the fridge has been left open a few times for over a few hours and it was salad I ate, and no im thinking im gona get ill and v* Im freaking out, I havent came down of this anxiety attack in well well over 30hours, I feel n*, Im worried the forks I used werent cleaned properly as they had black stuff on them the twice i cleaned them, im sorry if this post doesnt make any sense at the moment, I just keep breaking down in tears and feel utter utter rubbish, I cant get passed feeling like im going to get ill from hardly eating or sleeping but ive tried last night had about 6 hours sleep, 3 the night before, dont know if Im going to manage this at all Im hating it i feel awful, i keep breaking down,i think I can taste washing up liquid in my mouth as well from dinner, i ate a little bit of lettuce and tomato and bread with some pickles and then cream cheese im worried about that fridge totally, just cant get over this, someone anyone I need your help, does anyone live up the north of Scotland???

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[curly wurly]

Sorry you are having such a hard time. I know how bad you must be feeling. I remember when I first moved out from my parents house. My husband and I just sat there in the evening not knowing what to do. Everything was just so strange and scary. I spent the first night in floods of tears thinking I would never get used to it, but it does get easier, honestly. I wish I could say something to make you feel better. I hope you start to feel better soon. I am sure the food you have eaten will not make you ill. Sending you big hugs and hope everything gets better soon.xxx

[violet]

hey sally,

thank you for your responce, Im so tired at the moment, just worried about everything because ive been working on this flat non stop for nearly 2 days well apart from sleeping, I cant bring myself to eat,still dont feel the kitchen is clean enough and worried about the fridge and what I ate,I just dont think I can cope with this

[suze]

Violet, everything you feel is completely normal. You're in a strange place and everything that made you feel secure before has gone. You're homesick, nothing more, nothing less, and you're bound to be. Accept that it's going to take time to settle. I deal with this every year, students wanting to go home after a few days, but I tell them it's all to be expected and to give it time. In all but a few cases they take my advice, stick it out a while longer and end up loving it all. You will settle down, it will feel like home eventually, and you will feel safe again, but this won't happen overnight.


Don't worry about the food, it will all be safe and there's no way you're going to get ill. If it was meworrying, you'd tell me I'd be fine, so tell yourself that too. Everything you're feeling is completely anxiety driven. I know cos I've been there. There was a time when I couldn't go away for one night without having a panic attack, feeling sick, shaking,not sleeping etc., but I was never ill. I was just out of my safety zone and it's scary.


You will be absolutely fine I promise you that, just keep yourself busy and TALK to your gf - you need her right now.


Take care

[tiffanator]

Hi Violet, I'm so sorry you are having a rough time with your move. Is there something you can take to calm you down a little so you can sleep. If not try to do something to get your mind off it, go for a walk, watch something funny on TV or dive into a really good book. Also, a nice hot shower may help. Something that I do when I'm feeling really anxious is to close my eyes and breathe in to the count of 4, hold for one second, then exhale to the count of 4. This slows my breathing and almost always brings my panic down to a controllable level. I have been feeling kinda anxious all day today, and a few minutes ago I sat down and started playing my guitar, just let my fingers do what they wanted and kinda meditated to the music, it really helped.


Good luck and we are here for you! Even if I am thousands of miles away. [img]smileys/smilies_04.gif[/img]

[dreamer]

Aww Violet, I feel terrible for you, I was hoping this move would be a new start and bring your anxiety levels down, not send them crashing through the roof!! It's so hard getting used to a new place. When I first left home, I really, really missed my mum and dad. I loved visiting them, but was always close to tears when I left. So i know how that feels. But when you begin to put down a few roots, you'll feel a lot better. You're in a new place, you hardly know anybody - that IS scary!Once youget used to your surroundings, it'll feel more like "home".


Hope everything settles down for you.


Fiona x

[violet]

hey suze,

thankx for your reply hun, I know everything is normal,well, as normal as it can be with being an emet, Im just ripped apart at the moment,scared for myself,scared for my mum, now dont get my wrong, its a lovely place, its really nice the place has a lovely view ect, and its going to take time yea, think if I had my mum down the road, id have settled alot better than I am at the moment.

about the food, the kitchen basically, I dont really know whats going on there, its scaring the hell out of me, Ive vleaned it so much but still dont think its clean enough or the fridge or anything or the food I ate, just SO scared, feel so stupid infront of my gf as well

Hey tiff,

thankx also for coming over to reply, im going to try and relax tonight because I know a good sleep and not waking up having pannic attacks and no one here to help as my gf was asleep it may help to sleep and hopefully eat more, but i just dont want to get ill at all its killing me the thought about this!!!

Wish that there was someone up here, its nasty not knowing anyone,

Thankx again guys, unfortenetly at the moment, I still feel awful x

[violet]

Hey fiona,

thankx for your reply, Im just feeling really rather rubbish at the moment, being in the north of scotland with no one i know apart from my gf and i dont even know the place, its hellish

thankx for your advise x