My boyfriend got rushed into hospital on sunday night with pancreatitis.. He didnt v*** so I was reasonably ok taking him to a and e... just a bit anxious about the people who were around us, but there was very few people and Id checked them all out thoroughly.
He got taken on a ward on monday morning. The first ward was ok. There was nobody v*** and all the curtains were shut on each patient, so I felt reasonably comftable... only reasonably though as I still felt panicky.
Anyhow, today hes been moved to a different ward a ward where there is a man who has a blocked bowel, and is constantly V*** I went at 3pm, and other people were around my boyfriends bed (my boyfriend is aware of my emet but others arent) so I couldnt immediately shut his curtains to prevent me seeing anything ( if I can just hear I deal with it a little better) I sat on the end of the bed facing away from the sick man untill my boyfriends family left, when I fully shut the curtains, and was able to do my normal routine of shaking panicking and shutting my ears.
I dont know if this is a good thing or not, if it had been my boyfriend doing it even on the otherside of the room I have to leave the room as I have a panic attack. But with the guy I managed to stay in the room, not looking, and not have such a severe attack
I dont know if this means maybe I have some weird form of emet where Im only panicked by people emotionally close to me, though I cant see this some how as I have had panick attacks at work/ school/ uni with people I dont know or dont really know well doing it
Anyone had this type of experience. I came out feeling quiete proud of myself. But I have been not so bad on occasions where Ive had to deal with it ( my brother once v*** in front of me, he was only 7 and there was no one else in the house so I had to) and then gone back to ten times worse on the next encounter.