My 1st Official Milk Thread - GAH! :(

[x hannah x]

After having a thoughtful pm discussion with Doug (Gumdropper, who I MUST thank for his information and support on this matter! ) I know I keep mentioning this whole inducing v* by milk thing and that when I eventually did try it the amount wasn't enough and I was scared to try again.


BUT; and I swear its the last time I'm going to say it, I really am going to try it again. The only problem is that I don't know exactly when I can do it because there are a lot of circumstances that need to be in place for this to be possible.



1. My parents and sisters need to be out of the house - they wouldn't understand why I was doing it and its too much pressure if they expect me to do it and I end up failing.


2. They alsoneed to be out of the house long enough for me to have the right amount of time. Considering I need the time towalk down the road and buy the milk,set everything up in the bathroom, (Different toothbrush etc.)and then around an hour or less to actually drink the milk. So if I add in general freaking out timeand time to calm down afterwards then I'm going to need about 3 hours minimum.


3. It can't be a last minute thing either because I don't want to eat dinner and maybe not lunch the day before because if I v* I want it just to be milk.


4. I need to actually have the guts to go through with it!



I think I need to have it better organised than when I tried it last time. I realise that if I v*ed in real life I wouldn't have much preparation time and no control over it but this is just for me to get a clear idea of the bare bones involved in v*ing and have a practice at dealing with the emotions involved. I am a major control freak and I've decided that I just have to take it a step at a time. Since a gallon is about 8 pints I think I'm going to drink it out of a plastic measuring cup I have which goes up to 2 pints. That means thatI can have a good step by stepplan.
<UL>
<LI>On the day before - no dinner
<LI>No breakfast
<LI>Change into clothes I don't have any great love for - nothing too baggy
<LI>Go down the road and buy a gallon of milk
<LI>Come home and put hair in a bun or pony tail
<LI>Find a spare toothbrush
<LI>Get a glass of water and put it in the bathroom
<LI>Bring milk, musicand measuring cup into the bathroom
<LI>Drink 2 pints
<LI>2 pints
<LI>2 pints
<LI>2 pints
<LI>Umm v* I guess!
<LI>Drink water
<LI>Calm down for a while
<LI>Brush teeth
<LI>Wash face
<LI>Throw toothbrush away
<LI>Change clothes if nessecary
<LI>Call friends and informIESbuddies!</LI>[/list]


I know its long but if it's all organised I find it easier to deal with! If I feel ok I might update you guys as I go along, say how it feels beforehand etc.I could update after every couple of pints or something. Sorry for all the rambling but I so need to do this!Edited by: x hannah x

[shiva]

Don't apologize for the rambling. It's very obvious that you are willing to work very hard to take control back over your life and your plan is well thought out. I really hope that this time your efforts are successful. I am looking forward to hearing part 2.

[tiffanator]

Hannah, if you think this is something that you can do, then go for it and more power to you. I don't think I could do something like this, even though I have made some progress with my emet. It's good that you have everything planned out so that you feel as in control as possible. Let us know how it goes, it will be interested to see how you feel afterwards.


Good luck.

[spilled_milk]

Hannah, if you really want to do this, then you can do it. I think it's great, you seem so determined to conquer the phobia!! I am totally not at that step yet, but If you really want to do this then I know that you can.


Good luck!


&lt;3 anya--

[x hannah x]

Thanks for the support guys. I really think I could do it this time. I can't believe its 3am and I'm still up thinking about it!

[gumdropper1]

Hannah, you are so brave. The only thing I don't agree with is drinking water after vomiting. That is apt to bring on more vomiting. Just rinse your mouth with water. Always rinse your mouth before brushing your teeth after vomiting.


Doug

[angles]

good luck with it all. be sure to keep us posted with how you go.

[x hannah x]

Ok no water I guess. How long wouldI have to not drink or eat after the v*ing to be safe?

[gumdropper1]

Hannah, if you had gastroenteritis or something, I would say an hour. In the case of the milk challenge, at least half an hour. With any luck, though, you will be cured of your emet so won't care if you vomit again!


Doug

[x hannah x]

Hehe. I think it would be naive of me to expect an instant cure from this but I really think it would help me to make progress with getting over this.

[xroofusx]

Hey, i mean well done for having the guts to do this. My personal views are a bit different, i self unduced v* before and to be honest it didn't take my phobia away..it may be different for you and if you think it will help and its something you want to do, then well done and i hope it all goes well and helps.

Ruth x

[x hannah x]

Teeny tiny update. I have a vague idea of timing now. Apparently my dad is taking my sisters to the zoo sometime this week or next. I saw my opportunity and told him I would rather stay here and not to feel bad as I'll probably invite some friends over. But as long as he doesn't go on a Friday or weekend my mum will be at work and it would be a good day for my milk challenge! :S I'll keep you guys posted on what day it is etc.

[gumdropper1]

Hannah, I think it would be good to have someone with you to act as coach and to make sure you're safe. Doug

[x hannah x]

I'm not sure. My close friends know I have this phobia but I don't think any of them would really understand why I was doing it. And as much as they love me I'm sure they don'twant to waste a day with me trying to make myself v*. I hate the idea of anyone seeing me v* and I really can't see myself being in any danger. I might talk to someone on msn and just tell them to ring if I stop answering for a while to check if I'm ok or something.

[x hannah x]

I've also decided to drink it as quickly as possible in the hope of not having to prolong the agony.

[Galadriel]

Hannah I have to say you are amazing to bring this on yourself. It takes a LOT of guts (and no pun intended!) to do what you are doing. I hope that it does help with the phobia a lot, and that you realize what you need to about not being afraid of it. I hope it works out good for you!

[x hannah x]

I hope so too!

[blondie90]

hannah, this is sooo brave of you and i really hope that in the end your emet-free!!good luck and keep us posted!

[x hannah x]

I'm getting kind of impatient now, I'm totally ready and I'm just waiting for the right time. My parents seem to be refusing to both leave at once, theres always one or the other around and I need to do this on my own!

[x hannah x]

Hehe. In case any one was in doubt of my control freakish ways, I was bored enough to make a powerpointcomic strip of my future adventures! (Nothing gross obviously)


[img]uploads/images/xhannahx/441_Slide1.GIF[/img]

[x hannah x]

[img]uploads/images/xhannahx/A7Z_Slide2.GIF[/img]

[x hannah x]

[img]uploads/images/xhannahx/DA8_Slide3.GIF[/img]

[hedgehog]

That was so amazing! Those drawings were so cool!

Good luck and well done for being so brave!

[loops]

Just wondered if you were more phobic of other people v*/ you v&amp;*g or both
I dont actually know what I am as I havent felt ill / been ill in years so I dont actually know if Im phobic of me vomiting. My phobia is more centred round others

Just wondered if this could be done for other people V* too ( to try and improve my reaction to it) I guess it probably could as maybe if I V*, feeling what it was like would help me when someone else does? ( dont actually remember what its like to feel nausea, or throw up)

[tink]

Hannah, you are so cute! I love the cartoons..
hehe

The best of luck to you. You are a very brave girl!

--Kim

[x hannah x]

Hehe thanks tink. And loops, I'm pretty scared of both but I always thought I was more scared of other people v*ing but when I think about it, although attemoting not to v* isn't a massive part of my life, I do panic when I v*. And I feel like what I'm worried about is that seeing other people v* might make me ill. So I think this experience is going to help me. But everyones different and I'll let you know how it goes for me so you can consider it if you want!

[x hannah x]

Ok tiny change of plans, I had a free hour today so I walked down the road and got the milk. I had to get two half gallons because they didn't sell full ones and it was so very heavy. Still that makes it easier, All I have to do now is get it out of the freezer the night before and I don't have to get up as early.

[hedgehog]

Good idea!

[x hannah x]

Thanks! Ok little update, I now have the milk and a date. On Wednesday my dad is taking the sisters to the zoo and my mum is at work so that when I'm going to do it. I just have to remember to eat light on tuesday and get the milk out of the freezer.

[pups]

Hi Hannah


I'm new and I'm reading your post and I don't understand what you're going to do with the milk...can you explain. Soz for being a dope!:-)