You will get there Just start with tiny steps, truly-doing one tiny thing outside your comfort zone, and then refusing to let yourself obsess about it. For me, I started with sitting in the dining hall and drinking a bottle of juice or soda from the machine. And I really do recommend talking with your therapist about anti-anxiety drugs. I have been on Paxil twice in the past, for about 3-4 months each time. It helped me immensely, and you can take them short term until you get your phobia to a more manageable level.

I do hope someday I can get to that point! It's just gotten to a point where it is so bad now, I struggle with seeing how I could ever possibly overcome this fear! The only thing that keeps me going, to an extent at least, is that when I am at home (with or without my parents around) I tend to feel MUCH more comfortable eating any kid of meal! My diet is incredibly balanced, and really I can eat much of anything-with in reason though I suppose since my IBS can still flare up at home. I just wish I could feel as comfortable here as I do at home eating things; I do love the school I go to and would really prefer not to be forced to transfer out next year simply because of this phobia.

I did, eventually, get to where I could eat while at school. It helped so much to have a microwave and fridge in my room starting in my sophomore year, and I kept it stocked with yogurt, cheese, frozen burritos, and frozen dinners. I also ate a lot of easy-mac (it had just come out way back then!) and ramen, so not the healthiest diet but at least it was something I was never much on the dining hall, but by about halfway through my sophomore year I used to meet two friends for lunch in the biggest dining hall every day. I ate the same thing every time for the next 2.5 years-rice and beans (served hot, by the same lady every day!), cranberry juice, and sun chips. It helped to be eating with them rather than alone.
Just challenge yourself a tiny bit every day. That's my best advice I'm still trying to follow that bit myself!

Thank you very much for your kind words! It's always nice to have people be supportive, since I don't get much support from friends/family with this. I woke up this morning feeling a bit crampy and gassy, which could be due to me being constipated for about 5 days now, and since my monthy visitor is around the corner, so I don't think I will be able to have anything but my typical bagels. Even this morning I became anxious that I was sick with Noro just Based on how I woke up feeling, so it's just frustrating. I was able to go out and eat all the time when I was home-even sushi!-and not worry about catching anything. I just wish I could feel as comfortable at school as I do at home. Did you manage to overcome your fear at school??

Hey Mary, I just wanted to send you a message to encourage you today. Your struggle really strikes a chord with me because I know how hard it is to be in college and struggle with emet. I hope you will be able to eat something today. Maybe try to treat yourself to your favorite (non-bagel) food? Or sometimes eating a meal with a friend helps me relax if I am super anxious. You are very, very unlikely to get noro or fp from a restaurant if you are eatig hot food (soup, pasta, quesadilla, etc). In fact, I think its safe to say that it is impossible!

Hope you have a less anxious Saturday!
Jessie (mamacat)