OT: Love Handles!? Agh!

This is totally OT but I'm having a total insecurity crisis...

So, my body is kind of weird shaped. My figure starts, then my hips go in... it's like kind of a dent, then starts again. If you put aside where my curves start before the dent, if you block that out, it looks totally normal, but the upper part, before the tent, is bigger and more defined, so it looks so weird... basically, my hips go in and out, and I don't know is that because I'm fat or something? Is it love handles, or me growing, or what? My jeans and shorts sit at where the dent is. So when I were a little bit of a tight fitting top, it looks soo messed up... and so I went into my moms room, showing her and she says "You need to get off your ass and exercise more," and now I want to cry.

I know I'm ridiculously stupid for worrying about this, at thirteen, but I've always been insecure about this since I noticed it. Everything looks weird on me, I can't wear anything too tight without feeling like an ugly mess. So I just went back into my moms room and she said "You have high hips because you have long legs," that makes sense. My mom says everyone has that dent but for a lot of people it's not noticeable- for me it is! So when I wear my shorts it looks weird, my hips (okay, I'm seriously challenged, I guess the part before the dent I'm referring to are my hips? Ah!) are like way bigger... I don't know. Anyway I'm really self conscious about it.

Just need some words of wisdom, reassurance, whatever, comforting :(

Kailyn, there is nothing wrong with exercise. But there is something wrong with your mom telling you that.

If I were you i'd try to be less worried about how you look and more concerned with finding an activity like dance or gymnastics that you enjoy. If you participate in some kind of a sport it will boost your self confidence and you'll be exercising enough so that you'll look great and feel great.

Can you speak to your mom about how her words hurt you? It's incredibly important to develop good self esteem and confidence when you are a young girl. I know that kind of language would upset me. Is there a school counsellor you can speak with about your insecurities? Because I can assure you, you're probably normal and healthy, but it's always nice to be able to speak with someone to develop good self esteem.

Ok well first you need to see that you are beautiful the way you are! I have love handle, small ones but I think they are big! You are 13, your body is going through puberty and is going to change so much, don't let it get you down

You are 13? I was exactly the same as you when I was 13! I know you probably get this speech all the time, but this really is the time when you are growing and changing. I have crazy long legs like you, and so when I was your age I had pronounced hip dents too. It's just cause your body is moving from a girl's body to a more womanly body.

I used to hate my hip dents too, but now at age 20 I love how I look! The rest of myself grew into my hips and legs. I still have a dent, but its smaller than it was and I love my dent. Don't let it get you down and don't let your mom get you down!

Kailyn, I am 21 and you pretty much described my body! I have very pronounced love handles and I hate them :( They make me look bigger than what I am. But, my boyfriend loves them, and sees them as womanly and beautiful. There really is not a problem with them per-se. We just think there is. Everyone's body is different! just remember you are young :) But I totally know how you feel!

Kailyn, I am totally getting where you are coming from! Back in 08 I was extremely thin && now well... love handle alert which I feel really unhappy about- almost to the point where I am dreading someone seeing me without a t-shirt on or in a bikini, but I can assure you sweet try not to worry about it or let your mum pressure you into exercise (there is nothing wrong with exercise) because at the end of the day you are young teenager who is still growing!

E x

Thank you guys, so much. Honestly, even leaving emet/anxiety out of the picture, you're all so kind, helpful and caring it's really nice to have your support and nice comments. We all need a little help and support sometime. And I always know that I'll be taken care of here, you know? It's a really nice feeling.

Kailyn, you are 13 (which surprises me because you have always seemed more mature by the way you talk on here) and please understand your body is going to go through a lotttt of changes right now. It isn't right for your mom to tell you that in that way that you need to exercise, but exercise is extremely important, not just for the way you look, but how you feel and for your well-being. (Best way to cope with Emet, in my opinion!).

I am 24 and from the sounds of it, we are shaped similarly. I am 5'8 and about 125-130. I have really long, thin legs which people look at me like I have 5 heads when I say at the gym that I am trying to build muscle and make them bigger haha. I get a little bump at my hips where my leg meets and my hip sticks out a bit and I think its because my legs are thinner than my hips are wide. I have had it forever and was always insecure about it growing up because I didn't have that nice smooth curve!! However it has become less noticeable with working out, but its still there. It just doesnt bother me anymore because for the most part I am happy with my body now. I have a little bit of a love handle and I like them. My boyfriend, as well as most boys and men, love a girl who is natural and healthy.

No one's body is perfect, but it doesn't mean that they aren't beautiful! You have to be happy with yourself and your body before anyone else!!

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Originally Posted by kaiilyn_23

Thank you guys, so much. Honestly, even leaving emet/anxiety out of the picture, you're all so kind, helpful and caring it's really nice to have your support and nice comments. We all need a little help and support sometime. And I always know that I'll be taken care of here, you know? It's a really nice feeling.

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No worries beauts :) Always here for you whenever you need even if I am thousands of miles away! Were all here for you whatever the problem may be!

E x

aww im so sorry your mom would say that too you! i tottally know how you feel about looks because i have the same insecurities. Its that stage in life where everything seems out of proportion. You still are beautiful no matter what!! The older you get you will get an adult figure its just a tough patch right now. you arent fat. look yourself in the mirror and say "Im beautiful because God made me that way." don't worry about what others think. love yourself and others will too:)