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I have noticed that since I've been on this website daily and read topics right before bedtime, the information I've read makes a real impression on me. Since this website, I've experienced several nights where I'll have dreams of actual n* to the point of gagging and since it feels so real, I wake up. After I wake up, I continue to feel the same as in the dream needing to take more xanax in order to relax. After about 20 min. I relax and the "n*" goes away.and I fall asleep again. I have noticed that I don't have panic attacks for any situation other than an uncomfortable feeling in my stomach that I believe is related to possible n* or v*. If I feel this way, my shivering automatically begins, my n* worsens, and Ibegin to pace as I begin my battle against the N*. I am so petrified of the possibility of v* that the anxiety rules over me and I have irrational thoughts. I once had a dream where I was given the opportunity to v* and in the dream I knew I was an emet. and thought, "is this all there is to it?" but even with this artificial experience, I still can't get myself to stop fighting and just v* if I must in order to feel better. Am I the only weird one that goes through this cuz I don't see anything like this posted. Please reply a simple yes or no so that I know. I'll feel better if someone has an answer to what's going on with me.
Pumpkin
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I mean, yes, I do the same thing...you are not alone or nuts:)
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i'll have immensely more anxiety reading this site before i go to bed...
ive done experiments already...
a. i sleep better throughout the night if idont read about v* before bedtime...
b. i DONT sleep well throughout the night and have bad dreams about v*.. if i DO read this site before bed.
this place isnt good for me.
nor is it good for many.
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So Liz....you say this site is not good for you, so why do you keep coming here:) Just curious....i know for me, it's addicting!!! I am not being a smart a...just curious.
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wow! thanks for the info. guys. I really appreciate it. Phewww!! What a relief. I did a little test myself and stayed off this website for a week and had much less anxiety during the day and slept better meaning w/o interruptions in the middle of the night an attack. Don't get me wrong. I love this site and it brings me hope and info.and support. I guess I'm not ready or at the levelI need to be in order to read this site at night. I'm still trying to find someone to help me with gradual exposure therapy here in this small city. It's hard to find someone. This topic is foreign to our mental health professionals as I've brought up the subject at our local university. I guess specific phobias aren't being looked into here enough. Is anyone from the United States willing to exchange ph. # as a form of support in case of panic? I really need at least one friend that I can call who does understand me. I have not known of anyone with this phobia in my city--only in this website and I'm afraid the day it suddenly shuts off, I won't be in contact with anyone of you. I'm 31 yr. old female, married w/ no children. Now with cell phones, it is no longer long distance to call anywhere in the U.S.A. I have plenty of minutes to spare. You can private message me if interested in a phone support buddy system for faster responses right when you need someone like in the middle of an anxiety attack.
Pumpkin
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kate, i have developed a bit of a habit...
i try to definitely steer clear of any entries that talk about
people being ill, or people not feeling well... or other general negativeness..
but if its anxiety related sick feelings, i can handle those posts...
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I'll exchange my phone number with you if you want. Just PM me and I'll give it to you K?
~Monica
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Pumpkin,
when you look for a therapist simply ask if they know how to treat anxiety disorders. What the nature of the anxiety is is irrelevant - because the treatment is the same. Go to the Treatments thread and print out the INFO and the HOW TO FIND HELP and the DESENSITIZATION MATERIALS FOR THERAPISTS pages and give to your potential therapists when you interview them. I'm sure you can find someone to help you. Remember they don't need ANY knowledge of this particular phobia to be able to help you.
Oh and yes...I used to go through exactly what you did - just there wasn't this site around!
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Thanks Sage.
My counselor really is into relaxation techniques and some person-centered approaches along with guided imagery. I already gave her a copy of the techniques on the thread here, but I don't see her trying to change our goals or methods. I mentioned that gradual exposure is the way most people here are going with a higher success rate and she didn't respond to doing it or not. I believe that if she really wanted to do whatever to do to help me, she would have jumped on the idea but she didn't. Thanks anyway for the info. I just can't afford to pay someone who might do the gradual exposure therapy like a CBT. what else works? How about some Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy or REM? Which other technique is next to successful after gradual exposure?
Pumpkin
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If your therapist won't do the exposure with you, then you do it yourself via this site, etc. and "report" to her what happened for you, etc. You can then spend the therapy hour gaining insight on the experience with her. I NEVER did any exposure actually with my therapist, or in his office. We did do EMDR fairly often, however.
What matters with the exposure is the emotions it brings up, and what's behind them. You can keep careful notes of your experience with the pictures, etc., and bring them to her.
The other thing I, personally, would do is to start the next session with "hey - how come you didn't answer my question about doing gradual exposure?" YOU are in the driver's seat in your therapy. You have a right to question her techniques and to discuss a method of your own treatment. Now you can't force a therapist to use a technique that they don't normally use or agree with, but gradual desensitization is such a standard treatment for phobia, I can't imagine anyone disagreeing with it. Maybe ask her how she feels about puke herself. She should answer you honestly.
Good luck! (I sent you a pm about relaxation, but I see you do that already! So theONE thing you could try this week is straight-talking to your therapist!)
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Thanks sage, I'll ask her where she stands on her methods.
Pumpkin
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CBT is really good, and as for the dreams i think that is just your unconcoius mind playing tricks on you, it happens to me too. often when i have had a bad day with emet. try a relaxation tape before going to bed, that helps me.
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Thanks honeybee. I just don't use the relaxation tapes cuz i take xanax before bedtime and that will get me to sleep. I do sleep w/ the tv on as a form of distraction. I'll see some comedy to end my evening w/ some laughter like Fresh Prince or Golden Girls etc. I'll try it though.
Pumpkin
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I'd be happy to exchange #'s if you want! PM me! Especially if you have Cingular...then mobile to mobile is free! :)
Mary
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watching tv is good too, fresh pince especially, i love frineds i have all of them on DVD, so i tend to watch them. but it is a very bad habit, my boyfrined hates it!
