It has almost never happened but every day I think this is the day....! Help Please

Hello everyone

I am new to this forum (i tried to post once some weeks ago but i think it didnt work?) so I hope this is the right place and that i dont offend anyone with my text!

So since I have been s* once about 4 years ago (~20 yo back then) I developped emetophobia. I also have IBS so i am stuck in that vicious cycle where my slightly disturbed stomach makes my head panic which makes my stomach even worse etcetera.

Since that first incident, IT has just happened again on one single occasion. So eventhough the odds are "in my favor", almost every day I think "oh shit this time it is different, this time it is for real"... At this point I am even afraid, that out of pure Fear or Panic i might have to v* - because my stomach could get so upset.. i dont know. The problem is, that both times that IT has happened, i have no idea what was the reason exactely... It might have been something I ate but maybe it was just because I was stressed out those days... Especially the second option frightens me. Will I have to v* now everytime I am stressed (eventhoug I am basically stressed every day, so I should know, that it probably wont happen...)
However: I am playing in a Band and I love it. We have concerts every 6 months and soon we will have our winter-gig. I remember that i was SO nervous the last few times, that i got realy n* before and also during the concert, but of course nothing happened. Still I fear, that, because my "phobia" seems to have grown, it might cause me to have to v* ....

Aaaaah... I dont know... i think i just need some people to tell me, that it is not usual to v* in such a situation, if it has not happened before.... or somehting like that..

So thank you a lot in advance for helping and for having read my text! (sorry english is not my mothertongue...)

Have you tried methods of relaxation for your stomach? I don't have IBS but I do have quite a weak stomach, which is just perfect for us meets :'). I usually try chewing mint gum if I feel queasy bc that seems to just ease my stomach and numb it a little bit. Also try some deep breathing and make sure to drink small bits of water.

`Thank you, i will try the mint gum!
The problem is, that i have not yet found anything that can calm me down in such situations, because I always think "what if that time it is not my imagination, so the calming-down-method wont work and i will v* anyways"....
Do you know what I mean?

Chimes ginger chews, especially the ones with mint are awesome for calming the entire digestive tract.

Hi...I feel the same way. I sing in a choir and we have 5 performances next weekend. I love it too, but my stupid worried mind will start causing havoc and making me anxious. What if this, what if that? I try really hard to just keep reminding myself how much I love to sing, how much people will enjoy the performance, and that I am just anxious and that is ALL it is. It's hard but if you keep trying, it does sink in. Wishing you the best on your performances as well. Enjoy it all!!

Thank you so much AndreaAndee! I hope your concerts go well and that you have fun singing!
Soulnurturer, Thanks! I will try to buy something similar, bc i guess they dont sell these in my country...

So on Monday I had the first of the concerts.
I was SO nervous and n* the whole day. I think i was much more anxious about the posibility of v* during the concert in front of everyone (or having to run out of the room bc of it) than because of actual stage fright!
Before the concert i had to organize lots of things which took my mind off, so the n* was almost completely gone at the beginning. But as soon as i entered the stage it came back. It was not too bad then because i kept reminding myself, that nothing had happened during the last years in similar situations and that I had barely eaten anything that day (thinking "what i dont take in can't come out later" and also i had lost my appetite due to the anxiety..) But despite all that, in the middle of the concert it hit me - my tongue felt weird and i immediately started panicking and thinking about leaving the room asap. I left out a few bars to breathe through and just forced myself to keep sitting there, I managed to play on and after quite a while (I dont know how many wrong tunes I played in that time... xD) i had calmed down quite a bit and decided that, if nothing had happened so far, nothing would in the remaining part of the concert. Anxiety did come back two or three times but it was not nearly as bad as this first time.

So at the end of the concert i was really proud of myself for living through this (and even enjoying it at some points!)
But today already i am looking to the next concert (Friday) with awe... What if next time will be different? That day i will be even more stressed out, as I have an very important exam in the morning, so what if my body can't bear it then??? At this point i am not even worried about catching a bug or something but I fear having to v* just out of pure stress and anxiety... aaaah...