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no one knows about it... I walk around like everyone else... but deep down inseide, I'm always afraid.... It seems like such a stupid thing to fear... but it's a fear you can't run away from... you always try to find a way oout, but it just seems like nothing works... you know all the ways you can v****, you know the symptoms when you're about to... But there's nothing you can do... You live your life in a cage... watching people around you get to do things and live their lives like normal people and deep down inside, you're screaming to be set free... but it seems like there's no way.... When I was 9, i was diagnosed with a cancer in my leg muscle. I went through several chemo treatments and was always severely sick afterwards... the traumatic experience has left me where I am today; afraid every second of my life... And not only that, but they opted to do surgery on my leg many times, but I refused all of them because the anesthesia makes me sick... I can't take it anymore, but now that I've come across this website, I hope to finally meet new people willing to help each other and solve this problem that ravages us so deeply... I'm glad to have found people who know how I feel and I'm eager to be able to help people and be helped
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I know how you feel, I've never had cancer but I can imagine what it's like.
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Hi and welcome...wow, you have been through sooo much. I can only imagine your level of fear. When something traumatic like that happens, it can scar you for life. That happened to me when I was 10. I was very sick from a medication I didn't know I was allergic to, and here I am today, almost 30 years later, afraid of anything having to do with "it."
We all understand and you will find a lot of help here. Are you under a doctor's care now, do you still have cancer, if you don't mind my asking? Good wishes with everything...take care...
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I have to go every other month just to have check ups, but right now i'm in remission... They opted to just amputate the leg, but I wouldn't let them...
thanks for your support though :) i really hope one day we can all get over this stupid phobia
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Wow. that's so awful, and I understand exactly how you feel. Except for the cancer part, I hope you're free from it for good, I wouldn't wish that on anyone, let alone a second time.
But at least you can say why you're afraid, it makes it seem more credible. I don't even know how mine developed. It may or may not have been from my brother being s*** on a plane 2 years ago. I went through a stage where my parents though I was just covering up an eating disorder.
Anyway, I hope you find company, and understanding. I know how hard it can be to find it with this.
Alex.
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Im new to this forum, and Ill tell you something..I really has no idea how common this feeling was. I relate to so much of what you all say, and its reassuring to know that others feel the same way - and have conquered such a fear! It really does take over your life, but my fear right now is at an ultimate high. I make myself feel so nauseaus and then panic that i will throw up. I almost feel like its a bit of an outer body experience, and in my head I am manifesting this severe diagnosis of why I am feeling the way I do. I am in a serious relationship, and I love my boyfriend so much but my fear has escalated because before I could hide behind it.. Now we do everything together and he knows me inside and out. Im scared that telling him just how severe my fear is, will scare him off. Perhaps its because I have only realised discussed it with my family. I have seen doctors have prescribed anti depressants, but the one that i tried -XANAX- didnt really seem to work.
Im beginning to absolutely break down because of all the analysing and dwelling. I miss the person that I used to be and it breaks my heart that I feel as though its the furthest thing from me today.
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I have the exact same feelings that you, and everyone else here has. Everyone else is so carefree with their lives, all they have to worry about is maybe a breakup with a boyfriend, or losing a job, but to me my phobia is 10 times worse than any of that.
I wish I could be "normal" and worry about things like jobs and boyfriends, but instead I find myself in severe anxiety about the fact that winter is coming, or that someone in my class was sick one day and it's absolutely life-controlling.
I find that people don't really understand it and it's hard. I know only one person who seems to truly understand what I go through, but ever since finding this forum I've been given new hope.
I wish you and everyone else here the best of luck in finding themselves again
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Thanks you everyone for all your support, and I hope sharing my feelings with you has helped you as well... I see that alot of you on here are new... I'll say this, I'm new too, but browsing posts and seeing that I'm not alone has given me somewhat of a hope... I almost feel less afraid of it now... I think if I keep exposing myself to people that share this horrible problem, it will heal me in a way... I hope it does for all of you guys too.... Some of the people on here are the most supportive people and because we all share the same fear, listening and talking with each other might just help us all, even if it's a little bit... :)
I hope you all are doing well :)
