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I guess everyone has these days, but i feel i really can't cope anymore, im sick to death with having to think 24/7 about food and whether im sick or not. All im eating again is toast and biscuits and im sick of them. I just want to eat when i feel hungry and when i like, but im to scared too. Maybe im just reading to much stuff on the internet and should listen to my doctor, he gave me Prochlorperazine tablets and said eat what i like when i like as i need to put weight on fast, and if i ever felt sick, they would stop me being sick no matter what, then i go on the internet and some sites say that there are stronger ones? and theres so many mixed reviews. Today i've eaten 4 bits of toast and 2 ginger biscuits, and i don't no whether to eat anything else? because im scared i've eaten to much already and im sick of toast because i think having it all day everyday is the reason my stomach keeps aching and feeling bloated. Along with that my family keep arguing and fighting around me, im now having to move out and im not sure where to go, as it takes time to get housing becuase im only 17, the feelings of wanting to self harm keep coming back, im also frightend about trying to commit suicide again as the experience of that is awfull... and its just getting to me and i think its that whats also causing my stomach to hurt and my ibs to become worse? Im sorry for ranting, had to get it all of my chest..maybe some antidepressents could also help me? but i just want some antiemetics there so i know i can eat and have a safety guard, even though the doctor said if i was that scared if i felt sick or had d* i could go down the doctors or the hospital and have one if i needed to, because my mum works there so she knows the doctors, but still i don't know what to belive..argh! I just feel so horrible and selfish about all this....
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You're not alone. We have all felt this way at one point. I am just getting back to eating "somewhat" normally after about a month of getting by on nutrition drinks and crackers and things. Believe me, I wish there was an easy cure for this phobia, but unfortunately there isn't. I have suffered for 20 years.
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roofus...if your dr says you need to put on weight, and that these pills will make it so you won't be sick, then he is not lying. Don't believe everything you read on the net, and remember that there is a reason that he gave you those specific pills. For example, maybe the "stronger" ones will get you "stoned" and you will be incapable of living life. Of course there are always stronger ones, but usually these are for people who are undergoing intensive chemo, and other things.
Please eat, and eat what you like. This illness can make you much worse if you don't eat. Look at it this way....would you rather take the SMALL risk of v*ing, or end up so ill that you are in a hospital on all kinds of things, that may make you ill anyway????
I am worried about you. Please do as the dr asked.
Crystal
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Hey. Thanks for the replies. Well i've calmed down a bit now and
having a cup of tea with lots of sugar which always seems to help me
settle down. I've talked to my mum and she said sh is going to get
the same doctor who spoke to me when i ended up in hospital before
who understood my fear to speak to me about this. I agree with what
your saying, why would he give me medication and tell me what its
supposed to stop, if they didnt work?? he knows about the fear and
only prescribed them as i woudnt eat anything so i knew i had
something there if i really needed them, but putting on weight is the
one thing that i think needs to happen as my BMI is in the anorexia
stage. So im going to try eat some rice and tuna for dinner and if i
need them i have the meds there.
Thanks for the support also, it really helps to have someone to listen
and give advice. [img]smileys/smilies_01.gif[/img]
Ruth xx
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I used to have big issues with food. When I was in 6th form I had a virus that made me feel v ill (dont remember v* tho) but I went off food, and forseveral months didnt eat very much. My mum was convinced I was anorexic and had all my friends at school watching me. I WASNT!!!
Im now 37 and still have days when I dont wanna eat at all (several a month) , and on those days I generally dont eat much at all (my doc always said to me if you dont wanna eat you dont have to) however Im not on the small side, Im about 5 ft 5, and weigh around 13 stone, 75 - 80 kilos roughly,I guess I am waht you call voluptuous!!! This is because I am at the stage now whgere generally I eat what I want and I love wine. Im still VERY careful about certain foods, hygeine, staying away from ill people etc but TRY to live as normal as possible.
I really hope you get thru this and get to a point where food is not an issue.Im sorryI cant ofer much advice but thought I would let you know how I feel in the hope it will help.
Laney xxx
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I went through a stage when I was about your age where I lived off of nothing but bagels and fruit. My friends started getting really concerned about me. I was so stressed out during that time that is was rediculous, graduating high school, moving out, moving 700 miles away from home, fear of the unknown, pretty much I was a wreck...I pretty much eat anything that I want now without worry. I go to restaurants and in the past 12 years have not v* from a restaurant. I had a bit of trouble eating chicken from restaurants, but now I am over that. I got better by gradually making myself eat the things that I was scared of...A few months ago I was sick and tired of being afraid to eat things so I had clams, oysters, chicken, etc. at a really fancy restaurant and I was just fine. I know that when your IBS is bad, the last thing that you want to do is eat, but the more that you neglect eating, the worse it is on your body. Personally, I would rather v* than have the dryheaves. I know that we stop eating because we figure less to throw up, but that isn't necessarily the case at all. It is better to have something in your system. I don't know if this helps, but I really did go through something similiar when I was about your age and my emet was 10X worse than it is now (except for today that is lol.) feel free to PM me anytime if you want to talk.
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Idont know your name but is that you in the dancing photo? :-)
I know exactly how you feel. But you need to eat more than toast and biscuits. I won't get any takeout between Oct. and May, although I do purchase fish and chips occasionally. Sometimes if I have bought pizza or something, I will go as far as to call and ask anonymously if anyone has been ill there. So embarassing. But I feel i have to do this to enjoy my food. A day doesnt go by that I dont think that I will get sick so I know where you are coming from. But you seriously you need to eat more. Its a terrible way to go through life, I know.
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Hey [img]smileys/smilies_01.gif[/img] thanks for the replies. I've wrote a list of foods that i find safe and that im going to start with, i mean i ate the other day for a few days and got told i was doing well, but then it just fell back downhill, my parents have been very supportive and said they know i'll have bad days where i won't eat, but they said they'll help me as much as they need, also thank you for the support on here! its helped a lot, it was one of the things that made me relise i needed to start eating again. I also spoke to another nurse tonight about my meds and that they are there if i need them and she reasured me that they would work. Its not that i want something to take all the time, more of a just in case, so i know i can eat and have the safety. The other day i had:
breakfast - cereal - shreddies.
snack - probiotic yogurt drink
lunch - healthy sandwhich - chiken and colesaw
snack - chocolate bar
dinner - toast with honey
snack - some biscuits.
I ate that the other day and i was fine, and it seemed when i was eating like that, my brain seemed to function more and i belived that i had my meds as a safety guard and that i had to eat otherwise i would be put back into hospital (not a very nice thing). Thank you for your support it helps a lot and i hope that everyone on here stays well and fine. [img]smileys/smilies_01.gif[/img]
Ruth xx
To kutekim1217 - lol haha yes that is me dancing in the photo..*hides in shame at the strange dancing* lol.
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Don't hide in shame...I like it!!! Kim
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lol haha thanks. [img]smileys/smilies_32.gif[/img][img]smileys/smilies_43.gif[/img] << have no idea why the santa, its easter? lol.
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Hehe, I like the dancing too!
Girl Drummer
