More worrying..

I know I have posted simmilar posts to this before, I guess it's another one of my personal worries but it's something playing on my mind and I really can't stop thinking about it.

I went to my friends house today and he cut me a piece of cake, and picked it up with his bare hands. I am worried because I can't remember if he even bothered to wash his hands or not. He also told me he made the cake himself which sets off even more worries, making me wonder if he even bothered to wash his hands whilst making it. I hate this obsessive behaviour I have over hand washing and everything needing to be 100% bacteria free, which I know is silly because nothing is ever 100% bacteria free I guess - anyone else like this? As in, does it really take over your day to day life? :(


I'm also going to a music festival on Sunday (just for that day) which i'm really excited about but at the same time nervous as it's yet another place i've planned to go to, and whenever I plan to go to certain places I seem to get the same old images or scenarios in my head over me getting sick while i'm out or seeing whoever i'm with be sick. I can't deal with this anymore :|

I understand the way in which exposure to germs keeps playing on your mind as the logic of “if I stay germ-free I won’t be sick” is very recognisable to most of us. I did reply to a similar post of yours once before, when I reasoned you through how many bugs you didn't get at school, remember? (Sorry, I'd paste the link but it was more than 100 posts ago and I don't know how to retrieve it!) Something else that may help and I think is very relevant is what JadeNight said in response to a panic post of Cupcake’s recently, that she needs to bear in mind that “emet is a liar”. It’s so true and the first thing I would recommend you use to try and counter anxious thoughts like this in the future. You know, deep down, that the outside world isn’t all that dangerous, don’t you? But emet doesn’t want you to think that and so, as Jade so rightly said, lies to you to try and get you to see the world its way. Don’t let it!

The only other manifestation of this phobia for me apart from this year was when I was in the last year of primary school and became OCD about washing my hands for a few months for precisely the same sort of reasons that I assume are bothering you right now. I’m sure I’ve mentioned this before, but don’t think I’ve ever said how I got over it. The thing is that I went on a school trip just after Easter and we were staying in a hotel. In short, I was part of a larger group and just couldn’t keep running off to wash my hands every five minutes so had to keep eating meals after, yes, touching door handles and so on! A solid week of that largely cured me of obsessive hygiene in indoor situations, while a camping trip also with the school a month later did the same for outdoors. The set-up was essentially the same although now it was grass and trees etc I was touching and then eating and, of course, nothing bad happened then either.

I suppose this all added up to inadvertent exposure therapy, although my psychotherapist also pointed out that being part of a group and doing outdoor, physical activities, would also have helped as it is by definition so different to “living inside your own head all the time” which was a feature of the anxiety.



So what do you need to do? I admit you may need to build up to No 1, although from my experience above I could reasonably suggest that diving headfirst into it may get pretty quick results! Still…

• Eat stuff without washing your hands. Over and over and over again. Note down that you didn’t get ill. Repeat. Repeat again. Keep repeating until you’ve shut up that liar in your head!
• The start of September and your college course can’t come soon enough can it? Throw yourself into it as much as you can and hopefully you just won’t have time to think about your phobia!

Is there any possible chance you can move up North and give me these threads of help and advice whenever I get like this? Because that would be such a help!! I know I need to be strong and shut the 'liar' up, so to speak but it's just so hard. I can't even imagine not washing my hands before eating, it's just not right :/ I'm also starting to think that the root of this phobia is more that I'm afraid of germs more than vomiting. Even though I'm afraid of vomiting too?.. It's really odd. I hope you're right, I fully intend to throw myself into college and hopefully this all won't be so obsessive then. Thanks Andrew, I really hope you're well :)

Ha ha, I think you made the same joke on that previous thread on this subject. Tut tut Tash, repeating yourself is bad comedy...:p

By the way, check your e mails if you haven't already done so!