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Thread: Revenge?

  1. #1
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    Have you ever hated someone so much that all you can think about is getting some kind of revenge? It's probably just me because I get manic over things and all I can think about is just ONE thing. This thing has been on my mind ever since that stupid BLANKITY BLANK of a woman contacted me.


    I want to destroy her...not physically though...mentally. I want to break her soul, crush her ego, do something to make her completely insane (More so then she is now) I want her to suffer...and I just can't get my mind off of revenge. Is there anything I can do to get rid of these disturbing thoughts? Anyone have any advice?


    ~Monica
    David Duchovny I want you to love me
    To kiss and to hug me, debrief and debug me
    David Duchovny I know you could love me
    I\'m sweet and I\'m cuddly-I\'m gonna kill Scully!

  2. #2
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    Hi Monica, SORRY SO LONG!!!!!!!


    Funny you should post this right now, as hubby and I just finished a heated conversation regarding his b**ch of a daughter (my step-daughter, unfortunately). I'll try to keep this short: I don't seem like it, becauseI really am a nice person, BUT this little 15-year old you-know-what is waaaaaayyyyy beyond my last nerve. Her name is Jamie, and I've posted here about her before and got alot of support, which was nice. Well, she's all but 4-feet, 9-inches, but opens her mouth like she's an adult. When she was 11, she almost broke up my marriage, which I found out was exactly her intention. A few months ago, she was down and out, so I picked her up and brought her to my house for 3 LOOOONNGGG weeks of hell. Her and my daughter fought alot, even though my daughter, Brittani, shared her room and bathroom with Jamie. We were in the grocery store one day, and Jamie made a racial remark about some people, and my daughter took offense to it. Let's just say, Brittani is 5-feet, 7-inches, and was p***ed! She went up to Jamie, and I had to hold her back, because she gets Brittani so angry that she would have hurt her pretty bad. Also, the time she was at my house, I took her to the Dr. (she has an STD, from sex w/a 20-yr. old), I took her to places she needed to go, bought her what she needed, cooked for her, washed her clothes, had heart-2-heart talks with her all night, etc. Well, she told me that she hated her dad (my hubby), because he has strict rules, and says this as she's accepting everything HIS $$$ is buying for her! So, I couldn't take any more, and took her home to her mother. I took care of her and she went behind my back to her friends, calling me a "f***ing b***h", and threatened Brittani;s life. Then, Jamie's friends started sending Brittani life-threatening emails, and the whole thing exploded. I had to give hubby an ultimatum, it was her or me. I know that's wrong, but what am I supposed to do when her and I cannot co-exist together? I told him that I can leave and will respect the fact that he needs to be with Jamie, but he said no, as he was betrayed by her also. So, she's in and out of the picture, through phone calls, but just her name nauseates me, and I was crying today, telling hubby that i just literally hate her, and wish she was gone, and that i wished she wasn't a minor, because I really wanna hurt her. isn't that terrible?? I haven't even hated my ex-hubby this much!!!! I seriously hate her, and if I could see her pay dearly for what she's done to us, i would be willing to pay to witness it. Now I sound horrible, but she did this, not me. She's done alot more, but it would take me all night to type it! So, yeh, I do know how you feel. When it comes to Jamie, I have a really bad temper, and literally want to "maim". Normal, no. True, yes. and this does alarm me, as i am usually a very compassionate person. I wish I could advise you here, but I'm kinda in the same boat, and can just empathize with you.
    ~*~Charlene~*~

  3. #3
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    I know the feeling about revenge all too well, but thinking and acting on it are two totally different things. There are times when I want to say something to make the other person feel as bad as they made me feel or worse, but we are bigger people than this.
    We can choose to be the roll model, the adult and the better person. Its hard especially when there are big emotions involved but it can only end in a hard hurtful spiral of hurt. Especially if it involves people in family or work, because you will have to deal with them more often than not.
    I personally don't think replaying what you would like to do is harmful. Write it down, vent play it in your mind. It can help you get over it. Then do something that is either physically and emotionally calming or vigorous. If you are runner RUN your heart our run your aggression out. if you are a swimmer or have a punching bag,, If you are an artist in any form create something (even if you aren't what you might call an artist its just for you anyways) Heck scream into a pillow and cry if it helps.
    Penting up your anger and feelings of revenge doesn't help any more than acting on them.
    If it is at all possible and you feel once you have tried to get it off your mind and its still there talk to the person rationally if you think they will respond in an appropriate manner. (depends on the situation)
    Anyways I hope it all works out for any and all of you with hurt feelings.
    BIG hugs
    Melissa
    Dance like no one is watching. Sing like no one is listening. Love like you\'ve never been hurt and live like it\'s heaven on Earth.

  4. #4
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    monica,


    I am sorry ifi missed something, but what happend that made you so angry?


    -hayley


    Edited by: hayleyw
    ~*~ all is fair in love and war ~*~

  5. #5
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    Monica, I know how you feel. Lt me tell you what I tell myself when I feel this way. Living a good life, and being happy without this person is the best revenge possible.

  6. #6
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    Oh yeah, I've been really mad before and just wanted to (emotionally) hurt someone as badly as they hurt me but ya know, it's like daffodil said, being happy is the best revenge. It's true that the energy you exert being anrgy is only adding to your stress and only bothering you. Hang in there, "this too shall pass"
    \"As soon as you trust yourself,you will know how to live.\"
    Johann Wolfgang von Goethe
    \"Do not anticipate trouble, or worry about what may never happen. Keep in the sunlight.\"
    Benjamin Franklin

  7. #7
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    Before I was even an emet, one of the three vomiting incidents that I remember from my life happened on a particular morning. And due to the commotion that ensued when my parents led me from their bedroom to the kids' bathroom, my sister was awakened and she too joined the caravan to come to the bath to watch me evacuate my sick stomach. This was the last time I would perform this act without emetophobia.


    I was determined to revenge my sister for seeing me puke. I resolved that I too would see her puke before long.


    I got my revenge by being present at the county fair some years later when my sister was overcome by motion sickness on a ride that spins like a top called a Trabant. She exited the ride but was only normal for a few feet. Once back at our car, she felt the full motion of the ride catch up with her. She stayed outside a moment longer than usual while doors were unlocked. As cousins and friends and the older brother staked out our positions. Suddenly came word that the sister was not ready to enter upon the car. She retched a little and then vomited her meal in full voew of all. It was brown and it was over so fast.


    Having had my revenge, I felt much closer to the concept.
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  8. #8
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    With the exception of people who have thought of revenge toward family members (because you are kinda stuck with them and it can seriously suck) I don't waste my time with these feelings. Here's why.... If I feel that much disgust toward someone there is no way that I am going to let them have the power over me to even allow me to clutter up myself with such negative emotions. By even carrying that around, they are still getting the best of you. By you putting yourself below them, you are ultimately perpetuating their power. Just evalute this person and your relationship with them- realize that they are s*** and move on. Easy as that. You might want to respond to me that it isn't that easy. If that is true, then you should be mad at yourself, not them, for allowing someone to have so much control over your emotions. It's your brain, your heart- you are the one in control of how you feel and think.

    That being said.... What happened to your pseudo wiccan background? Doesn't that teach empowerment and good will? Love yourself enough not to care, that's all. It is that simple.

    \"This too shall pass\"

  9. #9
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    Haleyw--


    There was this crazy schizo woman who I was friends with for maybe like 6 years. I fell in love with her and she fell in love with me...and told me about it and we had this incredible bond. We never met but we had made plans to in the very near future. Her mother stepped in and said "HELL NO!" and ordered her (Her name is Mare) never to talk to me again. Her mother is this evil daughter of a b*tch who thinks that all lesbians are evil. So for like 6 months I pined over Mare wanting her back and just missing her...my heart was broken. I realized that I had to get over her, and one day someone said something to me about her and all of a sudden my heart wasn't broken and I saw her through their eyes. I was completely over her, so I sent her a letter that said, "If you want me come and get me" and I left contact info for her. On the back of the envelope to the letter I wrote, "To Judy (her mom) See you in hell!" 3 weeks later Mare contacts me out of the blue to yell at me for telling her mother I would see her in hell. If she would have never contacted me again I wouldn't be in this mess in the first place!! I get manic over things and obsessive and now I'm just obsessed with seeing something bad happen to her.


    That's the story in a nutshell.


    ~Monica
    David Duchovny I want you to love me
    To kiss and to hug me, debrief and debug me
    David Duchovny I know you could love me
    I\'m sweet and I\'m cuddly-I\'m gonna kill Scully!

  10. #10
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    I'm not trying to be a bitch and I do understand your venom, but if you did truely love her and you knew that her mum was making her life incredibly hard, as one would assume it is, losing someone you love because your mum is a bitch, then why would you write something that would purposly antagonise her mother, especially if as you claim you are completely over her? Why would you send her contact details if you didn't want any contact? In fact if she is as negative as you suggest why would you want to encourage any kind of contact ever again?

    Revenge and thinking about revenge can often be a little theraputic. IE when someone hurts you thinking how you might hurt them can help you get it out, but not for any length of time and certainly not to obsess over, it's just one stage in getting over a hurt and although sometimes it CAN be helpful, really it is harmful because you are letting this person who should not have a hold of you have a tiny piece of you. And it sucks.

    Gumdropper, I'm not very sure that seeing your sister throw up is actually any kind of revenge at all lol I guess maybe in an emet way it is. Your sister probably doesn't remember any of this and I'm not sure she did anything wrong by seeing you throw up, but again maybe in an emet way you think she did.


    Be courageous, believe in yourself, and be the best woman you can be. I'm with you all the way.

  11. #11
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    Quote Originally Posted by samara's on tv

    Haleyw--


    There was this crazy schizo woman who I was friends with for maybe like 6 years. I fell in love with her and she fell in love with me...and told me about it and we had this incredible bond. We never met but we had made plans to in the very near future. Her mother stepped in and said "HELL NO!" and ordered her (Her name is Mare) never to talk to me again. Her mother is this evil daughter of a b*tch who thinks that all lesbians are evil. So for like 6 months I pined over Mare wanting her back and just missing her...my heart was broken. I realized that I had to get over her, and one day someone said something to me about her and all of a sudden my heart wasn't broken and I saw her through their eyes. I was completely over her, so I sent her a letter that said, "If you want me come and get me" and I left contact info for her. On the back of the envelope to the letter I wrote, "To Judy (her mom) See you in hell!" 3 weeks later Mare contacts me out of the blue to yell at me for telling her mother I would see her in hell. If she would have never contacted me again I wouldn't be in this mess in the first place!! I get manic over things and obsessive and now I'm just obsessed with seeing something bad happen to her.


    That's the story in a nutshell.


    ~Monica
    Umm, I can understand you are upset over this, but sending Mare a letter and wishing her mom in hell, then sending contact info too, isn't that like asking for it? I mean maybe you aren't fully over her if you sent her info for her to get a hold of you, then said something that was sure to get a rise out of her and have her contact you sounds like maybe subconciously you are still not quite through this yet.

    I can understand wanting revenge, because we are all human, but I think in the long run it just keeps old wounds open, and keeps you dwelling on this person, can even make you obssessed with this person to 'get back' at them, and so you waste good time and energy on them when it would be better (and probably even better revenge really) to move on with life and be happy without them.



  12. #12
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    Personally anyone calling my mom a bitch and wanting to see her in hell would just make me FUME. It would be hard NOT to reply to that especially if I was practically given the contact info handed to me to do so.
    I can still feel where you are coming from to a point but still opening contact and wounds that could have been left as it was.
    There was no point in the contact after that long an abscence.
    Dance like no one is watching. Sing like no one is listening. Love like you\'ve never been hurt and live like it\'s heaven on Earth.

  13. #13
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    The point is I've told her that I would see her mom in hell more then ONCE...why did she chose this time to contact me? She's had mycontact info the WHOLE time...not just from that letter. She knows where to reach me, and she knows all of my screen names. I've told her mother to go to hell, and I've told her that her mother is a bitch on MANY occasions...so why would she chose now to strike back?


    ~Monica
    David Duchovny I want you to love me
    To kiss and to hug me, debrief and debug me
    David Duchovny I know you could love me
    I\'m sweet and I\'m cuddly-I\'m gonna kill Scully!

  14. #14
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    Because your relationship is different as in there isn't one now. What might have been ok whileyou were together or even friends isn't now. You chose to contact her and start tearing away at an old scab you might say. You started something that didnt need to be started. I hope you can work through this and just move on.
    Dance like no one is watching. Sing like no one is listening. Love like you\'ve never been hurt and live like it\'s heaven on Earth.

 

 

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