If your feeling sick or sad or whatever read this :



[Napoleon Sighs]






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Random Kid:

What are you gonna do today Napoleon?






Napoleon:

Whatever I feel like I want to do. Gosh!






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Teacher:

Your current event Napoleon.













Napoleon:

Last week, Japanese scientists explaced- placed explosive detonators at the bottom of Lake Loch Ness to blow Nessie out of the water. Sir Curt Godfrey of the Nessie Alliance summoned the help of Scotland's local wizards to cast a protective spell over the lake and it's local residents and all those who seek for the peaceful existence of our underwater ally.






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Don:

Hey, Napoleon, what'd you do all last summer again?






Napoleon:

I told you. I spent it with my uncle in Alaska hunting wolverines.






Don:

Did you shoot any?






Napoleon:

Yes, like 50 of 'em. They kept tryin' to attack my cousins. What the heck would you do in a situation like that?






Don:

What kind of gun did you use?






Napoleon:

A frickin' 12-gauge. What do you think?






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Randy:

You think you're funny?
Just watch you step.






Napoleon:

But I didn't--[Indistinct]






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Napoleon:

Hey, could I use your guys's phone for a sec?






Receptionist:

Is there anything wrong?






Napoleon:

I don't feel very good.






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Kip:

Hi






Napoleon:

Is Grandma There?






Kip:

No, she's getting her hair done.






Napoleon:

[Sighs]






Kip:

What do you need?






Napoleon:

Can you just go get her for me?






Kip:

I'm really busy right now.






Napoleon:

Well, just tell her to come get me.






Kip:

Why?






Napoleon:

'Cause I don't feel good.






Kip:

Well, have you talked to the school nurse?






Napoleon:

No, she doesn't know anything. Will you just come get me?






Kip:

No.






Napoleon:

Well, will you do me a favor then?






Kip:

What?






Napoleon:

Can you bring me my ChapStick?






Kip:

No, Napoleon






Napoleon:

But my lips hurt real bad.






Kip:

Just borrow some from the school nurse. I know she has, like, five sticks in her drawer.






Napoleon:

I'm not gonna use hers, you sicko.