just wanted some opinions

[cmatijevich]

Hey guys. Okay so i didnt know where else to go to get opinions that my friend wouldnt see. I have a 3 year old daughter and my husband is in the navy and i only have one friend where i am currently living. My daughter and i spent the night at her house on Saturday night. Sunday morning my daughter ate a bowl of cereal on her patio. She came in to ask me a question and my friend told us we needed to go to the store right away. I forgot about the bowl of cereal on the patio. Went home and all was well. So....she had an inspection of her house today (tuesday) because she wants to become a foster parent. Apparently she didnt bother to look or clean her patio bc the lady saw it and was rude to her about it. She talked to me via the internet and was very mad. I apologized but after she continued to go off on me i told her that maybe she should have looked on the patio. She got very upset thinking i was trying to tell her that she isnt clean (which she is not...she is very lazy and i have cleaned her kitchen for her before bc i couldnt stand it). I ended up just apologizing a million times and saying what she wanted to hear. Now i'm afraid that our friendship will be weird because of what happened. What do you think about all of this?

[Galadriel]

Hey
Well, I can to a point understand your friend's anger, but I think she is out of line to blow up so much at you when its obvious that it was simply forgotten out on the patio. I mean things like that just happen especially with little kids they leave stuff all over the place and its hard to keep track of what is where unless you do clean often enough. Maybe your friend is just upset because she knows she isn't that clean of a person, and so took it out on you because it almost cost her something. Either way she shouldn't get overblown at you, because its just a simple accident type thing that could happen to anyone, and its not like you meant it to ruin her day or anything.

[cloughie]

She is over reacting, it was only a bowl. They wouldn't turn her down for fostering over a dirty bowl. Fostering is about love and time not how clean the house is. I know, i was brought up in a foster home. Also when i get visitors i dont expect them to tidy up the cup they used it's my house and my responsabilty.


If the lady was rude then that was out of order. I wonder what the lady saidor was it your friend being oversensitive.

[daffodil]

Wow. I think she overreacted. When I have guests, I consider it my responsibility to clear away any dishes they may have used. Especially from little kids. Kids leave stuff all over the place. I would give her a couple of days to cool off, then try to talk to her again.

[crimgoddess]

Sounds to me like you are being the scapegoatfor some of her other issues- anxiety relating to the inspection, the possibility of not passing, etc. I think it's easier to just pick on you and this one fact, especially if the inspector mentioned it, as opposed to her admitting to herself that she should have checked the patio or that she hasn't kept her house as clean as she likes to think she does. It's only a bowl of cereal- it's not like you killed someone and left intestines strewn across her patio or something, lol.


I think it's good, in a sense, that you apologized even though you weren't necessarily in the wrong, because in friendships, sometimes you do have to bite the bullet to avoid a massive fight over something small. A bowl of cereal left out isn't something that should end a friendship, and after she cools down a bit she will probably realize this. I agree with Daffodil- let her cool down for a few days, and then approach her and ask how she's doing. I'm sure that if you give her some space for a bit, things will be fine in the longrun.


*amber*

[cmatijevich]

Thanks you guys! You really made me feel better. She called me today but things seem weird between us now. I hope it gets better.

[kristin1980]

wow.. i think she was overreacting just a bit.. i wouldnt worry about it too much for now.. just give it a couple days and im sure she will be fine. what the heck is the problem with a bowl of cereal anyways?? thats just silly .. hope everything works out!