The fear and pregnancy/motherhood

[mbach74]

New member!!! I am a 32 year old emetaphobic. I have been deathly afraid of people getting sick around me and me getting sick since I was a small child. I don't think anything in particular happened, I guess i was just born with it. I will swallow any pill someone would give me so that I do not throw up. I am sure you can all relate.


I just got married last year and my husband and I want to start a family. I am so scared to think what will happen if my child is sick. I think I can handle the infant throw up, but not for long. I think of my sister, whose 3 year old projectile vomited in the car (Thank GOD I wasn't there!)- if that were me, I really feel like I would crash and then leave my child!! This makes me want to cry because I really want to have a child.


Any Moms out there that can give me advice on how to deal with possible morning sickness, and then sick children??


Your help is MOST appreciated!

[spilled_milk]

I am not a mother, but I just wanted to say welcome to the site! Feel free to post anytime.


<3 Anya--

[katsamsmom]

tell your DR about your emet. and ask him what he will do to help you with morning sickness. if he will not help you...then find one who will. There are many things you can do for the n while pregnant and it be safe for the baby. ginger pills, ginger tea, sea bands are a must and helped me out alot. they are wrist bands that put a pressure point on your wrist that shuts down the chemical in your brain that makes you n. There are good drs out there!!! Good luck hun!!


also....my hubby is real good with the kids when they v. i can handle it when i know it is not contagious. I cant clean it up though. but when they are sick. i have lysol, hand sanitizer, and laytex gloves.

[sillygirl]

First of all welcome! There are actually a lot of pregnant women on the site right now. I used to be one, had my baby a month ago, and I can honestly tell you I can't wait to do it again. I neved had morning sickness so the pregnancy was fine. There are drugs you can take while pregnant for morning sickness, so rest assured that you aren't doomed to be sick. As far as the child getting sick, mine is only a month old but has already v*d4 times, not spit up, v*d. The first time was on me. I was afraid that when that happened I would throw her across the room, but of course I didn't. It is so much different when it is your child. The most recent time my husband was laying on his back on the couch with her on his chest on her tummy. I was upstairs, but I heard him yell for me to bring a towel. I went in there and it was all over both of them. My anxiety wa a zero, though. In fact, I actually starting laughing because since she was on her tummy, it had gotten all over her face. She had the most pathetic look on her face like "what just happened?!" I cleaned her and my husband up and never thought about it again. I am hoping that experiences like this will actually help me get over it when she is older and it happens. Again, welcome to the site! Good luck getting pregnant! It really is a wonderful experience.

[calibmom24]

I have been like this my whole life. When I was pregnant I just made sure I never had an empty stomach and I would eat saltines before I even got out of bed in the morning. It worked for me. And with the children, as scared as I am when they are sick ( and I insist on taking care of them because I am afraid my husband wont take the right disenfecting steps as I do) They are the best thing in my life and trust me you will feel the same way. So dont be afraid cause you dont want to look back on your life and think you missed out because of your fear. I know you can do it and you will enjoy it and love it.[img]smileys/smilies_01.gif[/img]

[Hale]

I hate to be negative but make sure this is what you really want and that you are ready for it. I had resigned myself to the fact that I would never have children but when I met my husband I realised he loved kids and I couldn't deprive him of the chance to be a dad. We got married last year and I found out I was pregnant in April. I feel sick constantly and cannot relax. I dont know how I am going to get through the next 20 weeks of pregnancy and I am hating every moment of it. I wish I had got help before I got pregnant because I am don't feel ready and am miserable at the moment. Sorry for whinging but I wish I had asked myself more questions about what I wanted before it was too late.

[trinity_13]

I was in the same situation as you, really wanted babies but terrified of the possibility of morning sickness. I have left it late (i am 35) and was starting to worry about my fertility and started having tests, then low and behold I am now 12 weeks pregnant!I have had some trouble with nausea on and off, i've been using the sea bands and have to admit that they have helped me a lot. I am hoping that i am on my way to being out of the woods with the nausea, my doc says a few more weeks and i'll probably not have any at all (i hope he is right!) It is a very worrying time for us emets though as i actually lost over 14lbs in the first month of pregnancy as i felt sick most of the time and didn't want to risk eating. As others have said the best thing is to eat little and often, carbs mostly and eat what you fancy when you fancy, itis your body telling you what you need.


I haven't really even thought yet about my future child getting sick, i will cross that bridge when i come to it and i hope my mothering instincts will take over and i will put my child first and NOT my phobia, i know it will be a struggle but i will try my hardest not to let it interfere with my childs life, my worst fear is my child growing up with an imprint of my phobia, as i wouldn't wish it on anyone.


Good luck to you hun and welcome to the site, there are amazing people here and they all have good advice and arealways there when you need to vent andneed a shoulder to cry on.


Take care


Trinity x

[mbach74]

Thanks to all of your words of wisdom. It really does help to be able to talk about this kind of stuff, and people actually UNDERSTAND!!!!![img]smileys/smilies_01.gif[/img]

[jodi054]

sea bands are wonder !!! i have had 2 children with my 1st no morning sickness at all ..... with my 2nd i felt ill all the time but you do get through it belive it or not ....


i cant wait to have another but a little scared at the same time


as for them being ill now there are 3 and 6 now .. and although i dread it happen you just get on with it when it does actually happen.. dont get me wrong i hate every minute of it and am terrified and cant even sit with the kids when they are ill but we all get through it and they are both fine with it !!


welcome to the group !!!

[happyteacher]

mbach74,


I guess I have another perspective on this topic.I miscarried my first pregnancy this April. I have suffered with severe emet for 23 years and believe me, I would v* a thousand times over if it meant that I could have kept my baby. Even after all these months, I still ache for my loss. Some days, it kills me. I have the green light to try again, but after 2 attempts, I still haven't been successful. Let me tell you, it has been a frustrating year since I began my journey to be a mother that has been filled with heartache. Also, to add insult to injury, my first cousin, who is soclose to me she is like my sister, is expecting her first child a week after I was supposed to be.What a cruel joke life is sometimes!


I guess it's just a matter of what you are willing to accept and how badly you want a child. You have to know that you might suffer with morning sickness and that your child WILL v* in your presence in their lifetime. Are you prepared to deal with that? If you are, like I am, then go ahead and start trying. Any mother here will tell you that the rewards outweigh the few times they v* every year. It will be even easier to take it you have a supportive husband.


Remember, you have to do what is right for YOU, not what anyone else wants.


happyteacher

[andee]

Hi And Welcome, I am a mom of 2 and love my children very much. I must say that it was difficult the first few months being pregnant and having this extreme fear. I was nervous and depressed for a while. However, I told my doc and he helped me through with antiemetics, etc. And the morning sickness DOES go away, and not everyone has it. It is definitely worth it to go for it, even with all that uncertainty. It would be horrible to let this fear "win" and not have the family you want. Hope this helps..........</font>

[alwaysamber]

Welcome! Don't let your fear hold you back on getting pregnant if that is what you both want. I am pregnant with my first and 29 weeks along. It hasn't been easy but I know it will be well worth it. Us emets have a strong will not to vomit!!! I never did get sick through out the whole thing. Felt pretty bad though. Not easy withdrawing from meds, having anxiety and panic, and morning sickness. But I got through it and still truckin through! I can't wait to have this baby! It is such a neat experience to feel your little one move in your belly! I have lots of ideas to help with m/s when you need it! Good luck with what you decide.

Amber

[momof2]

As a mother of a 4 and 2 year old, I will tell you that I honestly am having a VERY DIFFICULT time now. Infancy was a piece of cake...spit up is totally different and it is not from being sick. This past spring, my son had a sv and I Lost all control. I am embarassed and ashamed by my behavior. I feel that having children and being the one totally responsible for them is extreme pressure. They need me, even more when they are sick. I can honestly say that I have had quite a setback since having them. My emet was livable before I became a mother. I am constantly worried and waiting for them to get sick. Each and every day, multiple times. I would not change a thing though.


If I were in the position to rewind time and was thinking of having a child, I would really work through therapy and make sure that I could handle and manage panic attacks and anxiety. I would bea master at relaxation.


I agree with many others in that choosing not to have a child because of emet gives it more power. But, I would really really make sure you had the tools to manage in a situation involving emet, for your own mental health and for your child.

[bandnerd]

I am in my 9th week with my third, and right in the depth of the morning sickness. I have to admit, it's been pretty rough for the past month. I have EXTREME will not to v* and didn't with any of them. I use Zofran daily and have to lie down often, but I will tell you every pregnancy and person is different. Example:


1st: Felt n* once or twice, gained 38 pounds


2nd: Felt n* 24 hours a day for 5 months, ended up hospitalized twice for dehydration, gained 20 pounds


3rd: Felt n* on and off, still able to eat, gained 5 lbs so far. (this one has been much easier than 2nd!!!)


Being a mommy has taken on a bigger role in my life than being an emet!!





Good luck to you.


BandNerd