I always try and tell myself...

[Galadriel]

...that v*ing isn't that bad. I know logically it is not, I have v*ed before, and done it a lot when I was sick with svs, and I know its not THAT bad, but the other day I was thinking about those experiences to try and convince myself that its ok and not the end of the world and I kind of freaked myself out thinking about how it really was and felt. I feel silly because I have gotten sick before, but man its just so gross and I wish it wasn't so well, out of control.

[chicajojobe]

Yeah, I know how you feel. I've tired thinking back on v*ing events and telling myself they weren't so bad, but all I really remember is feeling horrible.

[crimgoddess]

The thing is- vomitting isn't pleasant. It's kinda gross, and the nausea that is the lead in can make you feel awful. It is by no means pleasant (although afterwards, you usually feel a LOT better, so it is worth it), but it also isn't so UNpleasant that it warrants organizing your life around it, or channelling so much energy and time into fearing it.


It may be hard to think of it in amore "positive" manner, butthink about how so many other people have to deal with situations and physical feelings that are 100X worse than vomitting- in the grand scheme of things, while vomitting isn't pleasant, it's definitely not the worst possible thing that can happen to you.


*amber*

[lostangeleno]

I would also like to add that replaying experiences in your head--whether or not you try to reassure yourself that it wasn't that bad--isn't really the best way to lessen your anxiety. Obviously, it can make you feel worse!


I am surprised that more people here are not trying and talking about Sage's online desensitization program. The link is right here on the forums--it's even sticky. I have beenusing herWeb sitesince May (as time allows--when I'm on a deadline, it's hard to find time for anything else!) and I tell you, it is helping. Granted, I am also doing it under the supervision of a good psychiatrist and am currently on medication, but I have noticed that since starting on Sage's hierarchy, I am less anxious about vomiting. WhenI get nauseous, I don't freak out that much anymore. When I think about vomiting, I don't get that freaked out anymore, either. I am by no means cured, andI don't know whether or not I will be 100% cured even after I finish it, but ladies and gents...it's definitely helped take the edge off. Try it!


LostAngeleno

[Galadriel]

Hey LostAngeleno and Amber,
Yeah getting sick will never be pleasant, I think the nausea could be one of the worst parts of it, you just feel so horrible. I have gotten a lot better about trying not to be so freaked when I feel real ill, like this weekend I managed to have a good time with family tho I seriously felt like I was gonna die in the beginning. I think its just a matter of telling myself in my head that its not that bad, and when I am real sick I try and think about those who have gotten sick (like my husband before we met had a time where he literally v*ed every single day for over a year, he has a genetic disease), and to him v*ing is like nothing. I think if he can do that, and he is okay now, then it isn't the end of the world. The hardest part for me is when I get faced with the possibility of seriously v*ing, like when I know its real nausea and I feel on the verge. I still do need to keep up the good self talk, and Angeleno your right the hierarchy is a good idea, a way to gradually work up to the actual deed.

[kristin1980]

oh boy do i know what you mean.. i have v* before and i did live..so what the heck? and a couple years ago.. i did get the sv* and v** like i think i told u before 13 times! at first it was soo scary for me but after a couple hours i accepted the fact that I had a sv*..I would wake up on the hour and and go "oh.. its time to v** again" and then i would and i would feel much better until an hour later when the process repeated.. and towards the end i was like.. this is no big deal.. but then a week later.. i freak myself out.. remember what it felt like and what i saw and everything leading up the the event and it builds up my anxiety so bad.. i hate it! even now thinking about that 24 hours makes me light headed and butterflies in the stomach.. oh why oh why?

[Galadriel]

Hey Kristin, I know what you mean its like while you're sick you eventually are like "oh this isn't THAT bad", and you make it through okay, but then awhile after its like back to "AHHH!!" whenever you think about it. I think the hardest thing is keeping that thought that its not that bad, and holding onto how you felt while you were sick and how it wasn't so horrendous. Its like our minds are determined to forget that its okay and instead make us freak about it or something.

[marieb73]

Hey LostAngeleno and Amber,
I think the nausea could be one of the worst parts of it, you just feel so horrible.

That is exactly the worst part of, plus the whole "build up" to the actual event.

But I have NEVER felt better after v*, so for me there would be nothing to look forward to.

[Galadriel]

Hey Marie,
Yeah I agree the whole build up part is the worst I think, and I've only a few times actually felt better after v*ing, with like the last sv I've had, but other than that I've felt the same or worse after getting sick.

[lostangeleno]

Angeleno your right the hierarchy is a good idea, a way to gradually work up to the actual deed.

Actually, the point of the hierarchy and exposure therapy in general (in the case of emet, at least) is not to "work up to the actual deed." You and many others have said it yourselves--on the rare occasions you do get sick or see someone get sick, all your coping techniques are out the window and you're likely more scared than ever. You've been re-traumatized. Exposure therapy in this case does NOT and will NEVER result in making oneself sick on purpose. Ask Sage. She'll tell you that a zillion times over...and she's a professional who treats emetophobes, so if she doesn't know, nobody knows. You know? [img]smileys/smilies_04.gif[/img]


I also want to add that I get concerned when I see people write about doing their own versions of "positive self-talk" and "exposure therapy." It seems many here have some misconceptions about what those tools actually are and how to use them. Namely, if they're not done properly, they won't work and they definitely won't have any lasting results. I can understand being confused about one or all of the components of CBT--you can't REALLY understand it unless you actually do it, properly, under the supervision of a trained professional. But what most of you guys do to cope will not free you from the fear in the long run.


Take a look at the treatments thread. Those folks are doing it right and Sage is very active in that forum confirming that. Those are the folks who just might get better.


LostAngeleno