I’m a hypocrite.

[shiva]

A friend who I also work with was telling me today about how she will not fly now because she isn't allowed to take her camera as a carry on. This I cannot understand because you just check your camera with your luggage and voila.. fly. She said she wasn't comfortable with that because she couldn't handle not controlling how her camera was being treated and that no one would take it. I felt myself being belittleing and condascending about this. I just didn't get the big deal. She even told me that even talking about it gave her anxiety and I was like 'okay, freak!' (kinda joking with her). Then she changed the subject really quickly.


Suddenly I realized that I did to her what others do to me about emet. It made me realize how easily it must be for others to not take me seriously and hard to understand my probelem. I mean, if someone else doesn't feel the same way, it is impossible for them to truly see it how we do. Sometimes we get so mad at other people's insensitive comments, but when you think about it... How can they really understand? How can I truly understand the anxiety this girl has about not having her camera with her on an airplane? I can't because it doesn't cause me anxiety to just check my camera with my luggage.


I did apologize and I told her that I didn't mean tobe judgemental about it. But, this was just a real eye opener for me.

[daffodil]

Interesting. This is the kind of stuff that makes me think. Thanks for posting this.[img]smileys/smilies_01.gif[/img]

[xroofusx]

Thats a really good post and very true, it does make you think, thanks[img]smileys/smilies_01.gif[/img].

Ruth x

[dreamer]

I've done this. Years ago, I was watching a programme about phobias. There was a woman on it who had a phobia about frogs. They were interviewing her in front of a frog poster and she was shaking so much she could hardly speak. I love frogs and collect froggy things and I remember saying "Imagine being scared of frogs!!!" (which I'm ashamed of now)


So the next programme came on. It was called Weddings From Hell, and the first scene showed a bridegroom v*ing at the altar!! And yes, I was all shaky and weepy. Serves me right!!!!!

[xroofusx]

Awww, yeah diferent things effect people. Untill last night, i knew my mum never had liked v* either, but we was watching big brother and nikki drank the tap water in the bathroom and nearly v*, it dosn't bother me seeing it on tv or hearing it, but my mum grabbed a pillow and covered her ears and shouted to turn it off and had a panic attack, not trying to put the blame on anyone, but ever since i was little, when i used to be ill, my mum would like look after me and everything and was ok with it, but i remember when i used to feel ill anytime she would like panic and say "quick quick!! get to the bathroom" and everytime i used to feel ill i would get upset, because it would panic me when she said that[img]smileys/smilies_05.gif[/img].

Ruth x

[arialmina]

Let it be a eye opener for all of us.

[dreamer]

Roofus, what you've described with your mum is EXACTLY what I'm trying to avoid with my own children. I hate it when they v*, but I try to stay calm and comfort them. It's working so far - my 7-year-old just goes to the bathroom or reaches for a basin when he needs to v*. It's just another bodily function to him. I hope his 2-year-old brother turns out the same!

[spilled_milk]

I am really hypocritical too, and I don't even mean to be! I always feel bad after, becaue I know that i complain about when people dont take my fears seriously, but then i do the same thing. Somehow it makes me more sensitive to when other people tease ME, because i know how irrational i sound.


<3 Anya--

[sage]

I think having had this phobia has made me a really compassionate therapist. I've had clients who won't poop in their own toilets due to a terrible anxiety disorder about it (they have a forum like this one - go figure!) Also people afraid to eat, afraid of their mother's wrath when they're 57, you name it. Nothing makes me feel like judging them because I felt like a whack-job for so many years. But you should here some of my classmates when I was training - they were SOOOOO judgmental....geesh ... and these guys are therapists now too!


Thanks so much for posting this - it's a really good illustration of what we're all like in some way!

[momof2]

I think one thing that this awful condition has taught me is to respect others in terms of their fears. Fear is fear, although what a person fears can be different. And don't we all know how awful fear is.


Great post.

[bigemet]

I'm never judgemental and belittling to anybody with a different phobia than I do. I just was never like that, naturally not a person like that. So, i've never done that and never will. I'm only belittling and condescending to ppl who are stupid, blind, insensitive and immoral. To others, i just can't see why i need to be mean.

[sage]

I'm adding to this just for fun now, for a psycho-semantic debate....


The thing is, people who are stupid, blind, insensitive and immoral are that way because they are in Pain. Capital P on purpose. It is a deep, deep traumatic pain from very early on in their childhood that made them act out their pain and project it onto others in the form of "stupidity, blindness insensitivity and immorality". YOU (and I and all the rest of us phobics) project your Pain into your phobia. The only difference, is timing, some brain farts, and the grace of God I guess.


I meet a lot of stupid blind insensitive immoral people in my work, and I know it's a challenge to see that they, too, are made in the image of God.

[kes3237]

This was a great topic because I always feel SO frustrated when people don't take me seriously. If I'm out with someone and they joke about v* I will tell them very seriously - don't do that around me - I have a major phobia! And they will kind of smile/laugh as if I can't be serious. I don't think people ever really understand how much emits - or anyone with a real phobia - think, focus on, obsess about their fear. It really controls your life. So it's good to remember that there are tons of fears out there and just general kindness about everything is never a bad thing.