So annoyed

[momof2]

I am so annoyed that this is ruining my life. This past summer, I have found myself avoiding situations altogether. Before I knew it, I had not left my house at all for 8 days, not even to run to the grocery store.


My children seem to be accepting that I never go anywhere...they actually just left to go to a fair with my husband and the grandparents, but here I sit. And it is not even like I feel better when I am not with them, because I am sad and still feel like crap, and wish I was creating another experience with them. I know that challenging myself and facing the fear is the only way to get better, but I am just not strong enough.


I feel like they are going to look back years from now and think, " Remember when daddy did this and that." They will have no memories with me. Except maybe me laying down feeling ill.


I have to go back to work next week and am so sad about it. I love teaching but I really had a horrible summer. I thought I would be okay and I wasn't. I missed out on so much with my family.


Sorry for the rambling...

[curly wurly]

I am so sorry you are feeling so bad. When we have bad times it is so hard to see a light at the end of the tunnel, but things do get better eventually. I am sure your children do not think badly of you and will still have fantastic memories of you when they are older.


I know it is hard for you at the moment, but hopefully soon you will feel stronger and happier. I hope you soon feel better.

[klinky]

I would strongly suggest you talk to a doctor about feeling ill. If you really are feeling sick to your stomach or have naseua it could be a sign of something physically wrong with you. If nothing else it could be from aniexty & aniexty medications out there can definitely help.


I myself have recently been diagnosed with acid-reflux & irritable bowel syndrome.These two + emetophia are not fun. But now that I have some AcipHex for my stomach, a new diet to prevent IBS attacks, risperdal for aniexty &conseling sessions to help with aniexty/emetophia I am feeling a new sense of hope. Sure I still have down days(or parts of the day I feel down). But overall I am feeling better than I have in years because I feel that I might just get my life back. I am not there yet. But it seems like it's possible. The first step is actually getting help. If it is preventing you from doing the things you want to do, then it's worth it to get it checked out.


I waited eight years and the only reason I actually went to a doctor was because my symptoms recently worsend. I am feeling much better than I did a month ago. I literally lost 25lbs & wasn't eating properly. Now I am eating better foods, I am having regular bowel movements, I still feel heartburn/naseua from time to time, but now I have some AcipHex which gives me hope of elimnating those two for good. Now that I feel I might have my physical problems under control, I feel mentally it will be easier to overcome my phobia.


Hopefully this gives you some hope & a direction to go in.

[momof2]

Thanks for the advice-


I did see a doctor and had a scope done, but they had to stop it because I had problems while under. That was a major setback for me.





Can acid reflux really make you feel nauseous?

[klinky]

Yes, it cancause naseua& other symptons.GERD/Acid-reflux will lead to esophagitis, which is corrosion of the esophagus. Basically your stomach acid is being over produced & damaging your esophagus. Symptons include heartburn, naseua, feelings of fullness, bloating, excessive/prolonged belching & sour/bitter tastes in your mouth.There can definitely be naseua because things are actually going up your esophagus & sometimes acid can be refluxed all the way up the esophagus& enter the mouth. Also if your esophagus becomes damaged you won't be feeling great. The esophogus plays a large part in the v* process, so if it's not feeling well or is damaged then you won't be feeling well either.


You may check in with a doctor about getting another EGD/upper endoscopy done with strong sedation rather than actually putting you under. That is how I had mine done. It's not something I want to do everyday but it wasn't that bad & I barely remember any of it. Or If you're suffering from multiple GERD-like symptons, you may just ask them to put you on a 'proton pump inhibator" like AcipHex, PrevAcid or Prilosec. It's not an overnight thing, it may take weeks before your esophagus heals & you no longer suffer from these symptons.


I for a long time thought that my problem was entirely in my head. My family wasn't a whole lot of help in getting me to actually go see a doctor. The disappointment & depression that is associated with this phobia is just bad, especially when surrounded by people who do not understand. It's only worse when you do actually have physical problems that just knock you back down when you try to go out & make the best of it.


Get the diagnostics done if you can, atleast that way you'll know if modern medical science thinks you have a physical problem. From there you can go on about healing the mind. But it's hard to heal the mind if the body is being a constant reminder.


[img]smileys/smilies_04.gif[/img]Take care & hope for the best...

[kate1966]

Yes Dear, i have acid reflux too, and i'm on prilosec, and it helps...I am supposed to take 2 a day. Once in the morning and once in the evening...but i seldom take the evening one...i was so bad with my nausea at one point, that's when i went for as many tests as i could have done...i had the colonoscopy done, and i was supposed to have the endoscopy done, but the doc said i was fighting him so bad he couldn't get it down my throat so i had to go back and do the barium swallow test, which was disgusting, but that's when they found out i had reflux....so, now i'm on the medication, and it has stopped the nausea 95%!!!!!!!!! So, you may want to give it a try. I had no idea that could make you that nauseas....it was awful for me, and it was happening every single day all day long...i would wake up nauseas.....and i hated it sooooooooooo bad.


I know what you are going through with your kids...i was the same way for a very long time, and still am to an extent...but mine are older now, and don't want/need me to do things with them much anymore...so i have lucked out on that, BUT i have tons of guilt from when they were smaller and always wanted me to do things, and ended up their daddy doing it all. You are not alone in that and i know my boys still love me just the same. They understand that mom gets sick alot, and can't do everything she wants to....so don't beat yourself up too much for that, ok!!!!

[momof2]

Thanks so much guys,


I am so happy you told me all of that...I have most of those symptoms..nausea, occasional heartburn, I always feel full, and always feel like I need to burp. I can't believe it. I really thought you had to feel the burn of the acid, which I totally did when I was pregnant with my first.


I have some prevacid and think I will try it.


Thanks

[kes3237]

I don't know that much about IBS/acid reflux - although I often wonder if I have anything because I often feel nauseous, sick to my stomach, etc. - but I do know what you mean about the fear keeping you from doing anything. Whenever I go anywhere it is on my mind - I hate using public bathrooms b/c what if someone comes in and v* while I'm there?, I hate driving in cars/using trains/planes, etc. with strangers - I only trust people I know really well. I even hate being in public situations that I couldn't easily get out of without embarassing myself. Sometimes I'll even just go to the store - leaving the house for the first time that day - and I'll instantly feel sick. The key for me is to always have a "way out." So before I do anything, I make a plan of what I'll do if I feel sick. I always remember that I can always turn right around and go home. Just try to create the safest environment possible for yourself and take small steps in leaving the house. Maybe not going to the fair, but take your kids to the park (close by) and know that you can immediately go home if need be.

I'm wondering how being a teacher affects your fear? I'm a first year teacher and am really anxious about being in a classroom full of kids that could get sick at any moment. How do you deal with that?

[momof2]

Going into my fifth year of teaching, it is still no easier for me. My kids know that at any time, if they feel sick, they can leave..no questions asked. The way I see it, they don't want to puke in front of their friends either. Occasionally I have one or two who take advantage of the situation, but not too often.


Whena stomach virus goes through the school, I am usually a wreck, but it seems that after the first 2 years of teaching, my immune system has strengthened. The first two two years I got every thing that went around.


I am very good about keeping a clean classroom though. Lysol is my best friend.

[kes3237]

Good to know. I thought about telling them on the first day that I really hate it and if anybody feels sick, just leave. I don't know where you teach, but I'm in Chicago, and some of those schools are run like prisons - students can't leave without a pass, can't leave at all, etc. I don't know how understanding the school would be about me saying they can leave if they need to.

Which also gets me thinking about the amount of anxiety I would feel about being in a situation where someone told me I couldn't leave no matter what! I would feel nauseous every day! Poor kids.

[harmonygirl72]

Kes,


I am a teacher in the Chicago burbs! We should talk! What do you teach? Are you in the Chicago public schools?I just moved up to Grayslake and will start my new teaching job in Antioch tomorrow. I taught in Park Ridge for the past 7 years, but it was a Catholic school and I made no money! I teach elementarymusic, by the way.


I'd love to have an emet/teacher friend in the area! Let's talk!


MaryEdited by: harmonygirl72

[kes3237]

Hey Harmonygirl - I am actually looking for my first teaching job in CPS now - there are none to be had! I am secondary ed - english. This is a second career for me, and after spending an additional 2 yrs in school, I am ready to be working again! I'm hoping something comes up yet over the next couple months...

[harmonygirl72]

Wow, good luck with that! PM me and maybe we can get together!


MaryEdited by: harmonygirl72