bulimia, make be triggering!

[sunshine_dreamz]

heyyyy,


As some of you know, ive suffered anorexia for the past 3 years. im now im recovery and have just gained the last lb of my target weight.....


I feel incredably enormous and i HATE it....ive been having thoughts about how i can lose the weight again.....last night, instead of taking my usual handful of laxatives, i stuck a toothbrush down my throat and tried to make myself V*.....it didnt work, BUT im scaring myself....


Its like my mind is so powerful over my body....my minds in eating disorder/weight loss mode, and my body is terrified....


gah, help!?

[crimgoddess]

I think you are at the point where you may need to get checked into treatment. People on this board are great, and can offer support- but I don't think that any of us are really qualified to give you any help beyond that.


Even if you have reached your target weight, it's obvious that if you are taking laxatives and attempting to make yourself sick, you are still in need of professional help. It must be hard, because people probably think you are better, and that things are improving because you likely look healthier, but you are still in the same mindset. And laxatives are a veyr dangerous thing to mess around with- if your body becomes dependent on them, it is very hard for it to "learn" to function properly without them. I have seen it happen, and it isn't pretty.


Can you go to a parent or friend and tell them what is going on, and that you NEED help- even if that may mean getting checked into a treatment facility where they will monitor your access to laxatives and food intake? Are you seeing a psychologist/psychiatrist/counsellor of some type, that you can call and talk to about this?


Please, get help. I would hate to see all the progress you have made be lost!


Goodluck with everything.....


*amber*

[Babydoll]

I have to agree... You've made so much progess, and it would be shame to go downhill from here.


right now you probably feel different in your skin because you've been used to being skinny for a long time. I think thats normal - I know when I lost weight recently I felt different about myself, ( but in a positive way).


whatever you do, don't think that you have been defeated. right now, you are in control of everything that happens - you just might need help staying on track.

[daffodil]

Good luck, sweetheart, I hope you get the help you need. Take care.

[pino3321]

Hun you do need help this is not normal to be doing any other things, do you ever try anti depresents those help alot with emotional problems! But anyways hunny you do need help, alot of people relapse and the first thing you do when you do that is go get help again! my life hasn't been easy I grew up in a broke home I have a great family great mother but my parents did divorce due to my dad's drug problems, and the said thing to this day they are still inlove, my dad struggle with drugs for years and it finally took his life about a month ago and it hurts so bad to know he struggled so hard to stay straight he lived up in maine for 5 years and was sober and as soon as he came down here he had to do the drugs cause he was in the enviorment where everything happened I've saw my father Overdose and me having to save his life and though it was hard to see that it taught me alot. my dad was a great guy he just had his problem he got help for them and did very well but he lost the fight and I don't want you to have to go through that, life is a gift weither you believe it or notit can be hard at times but it can be so rewarding! Realize that you need help hun cause I hate to say it but what you have is a disease just like drugs and addiction it's a disease you have to live with it all the time but confronting it only helps more stop running away from it and deal, and I hate stating the facts but hun if you don't do something about this it will take your life one dayjust like it did for my Dad, and i hate seeing such good people wasting there lives on things that will kill them. I know things like this is not easy at all I mean it takes over your whole life but you need to deal with it you need help now I can't force you or tell you need to go get help nor can anyone else you have to decide for yourself your the only person that can make this happen. So think about the important things in your life and the important people in your life do you really want to risk what you have, Hun life isn't easy i know that i've been through alot of things but living your life in the condition doesn't make it any better it just makes everything so much worse but life is a gift and I hope you take a advantage of that and get help! I'm here if you need to talk!

[samara's on tv]

Hun I agree with EVERYONE else, you need to get help. My sister was bulemic for a long time before my parents caught it and sent her to a doctor. Although the problem with my mom is she didn't see it as being "Bad" because she used to do the same thing when she was a kid and she figured as long as my sister wasn't "Too Skinny" (Which is weird because her version of skinny is like Calista Flockhart) she didn't really do anything about it. My dad was the one who had to take action. Anyway my sister is a lot better now, as far as I know. She exersizes like a maniac and doesn't eat any meat or dairy products. She's a vegan cause of animal cruelty so don't think it's cause of her weight. But she's always asking me if she is fat. My point is, my mom always put too much emphasis on weight and because of that both of my sisters are messed up. You need to get help before it's too late...really.


~Monica

[sunshine_dreamz]

Thankyou so much for all your help!!! i apreciate it so much! *hugs to everyone*.....im now in the process of getting help!!


Thanks again, take care everyone xXx