Are we all alike?

[tojohn]

Iv'e been thinking about this for a long time. What is it that causes us all to be emetophobes?


I said in an earlier post that I lived with childhood verbal abuse, but according to sage and others the number of emets with an abusive backround is no different than the general population. But Iv'e been looking at this from another view maybe it's not something that happened to us maybe it's something we lack.


There are parents out there who are very supportive of their children giving lots of positive reinforcement,teaching them that they can do anything,overcome anything and have any kind of life they desire.


I never got any of those messages,in fact I often heard the oppisite and today my self-confidence is shot,my self-esteem very low. I was wondering if any emets out there had an upbringing with those positive,supportive messages and if anyone else thought this attitude might be a root cause of our fear. I also would like to hear from any of you who didn't have that supportive atmosphere and if you think that has anything to do with it.


I'm fairly new to this site,so if this has been covered before I'm sorry but I would really like to know.

[glitta_fairy]

I think what links all of us is an underlying anxiety disorder, which (for different reasons), has manifested itself through fear of v*. I personally don't think it has anything to do with receiving or failing to receive positive reinforcement-based on my experience of a mother who gave me alot of positive reinforcement and a stepdad who was verbally abusive- i feel that this phobia would still be around had my mum not married him. Although her positivity made me feel more valuable as a child, i think as adults it's important to feel our own worth, without relying on reinforcement from others.


I've noticed that many emets have low self-esteem... But i don't thinkemet caused it, i think it's a result of being so dependent on others and feeling different to other people. I think it's basically about anxiety in general- i can't speak for anyone else-but thats how it makes me feel.


Sorry i'm not sure if that made sense i haven't slept for two days lol

[chicajojobe]

No, I wasn't abused verbally or otherwise.

What you said about parents who teach t</font>heir child</font>ren they can do anything, overcome anything, have any kind of life they desire. Mine do that.</font>
</font>
As a matter of fact that proved a problem once because I was talking with my mom about what I could do with my major after I graduate, and she said that she thought I could become an M.D.
It was an incredible moment for me because I'd never seriously considered that because I'd accepted (or maybe assumed) that I couldn't because of my emet. However, when she said it I, unfortunately, started believe maybe it wasn't completely impossible, and the thought's been torturing me ever since. I even asked my dad to tell me he didn't think I could do it....but he wouldn't!
I found it funny because I actually found myself thinking, in relation to that situation, "why can't my parents just be helpful and NOT tell me that they think I can do anything!"



Edited by: chicajojobe

[spilled_milk]

I was not abused, and was supported quite well. The only thing that i can connect to my childhood was that my dad had a lot of diseases, so i saw him sick quite a lot. but, no abuse.


&lt;3 Anya--

[japa]

If you did want to do it, you could certainly do it. That's why they tell you so. Maybe you just don't want to do it.Don't torture yourself about something that you don't want to do anyway.

No, I wasn't abused verbally or otherwise.

What you said about parents who teach their children they can do anything, overcome anything, have any kind of life they desire. Mine do that.

As a matter of fact that proved a problem once because I was talking with my mom about what I could do with my major after I graduate, and she said that she thought I could become an M.D.
It was an incredible moment for me because I'd never seriously considered that because I'd accepted (or maybe assumed) that I couldn't because of my emet. However, when she said it I, unfortunately, started believe maybe it wasn't completely impossible, and the thought's been torturing me ever since. I even asked my dad to tell me he didn't think I could do it....but he wouldn't!
I found it funny because I actually found myself thinking, in relation to that situation, "why can't my parents just be helpful and NOT tell me that they think I can do anything!"

[japa]

Yes, I grew up in a very abusive environment.

[chicajojobe]

If you did want to do it, you could certainly do it. That's why they tell you so. Maybe you just don't want to do it.Don't torture yourself about something that you don't want to do anyway.</font>

I've decided not to worry about it later. The thing is that I don't know either way. I don't know that I want to do it, but I also don't know that I don't want to. That's the part that I meant was torture. Not knowing how I feel about it. So that's why I've decided to just wait and see. I'm sure that the answer will come with time.

[tojohn]

WOW!! I really learned a lot from this. Apparently all kinds of people from different backrounds can have emetophobia. I still think there is a common link somewhere but I don't know what it is.


PS I am going to start saying having emetophobia rather than being an emetophobe because I don't want this condition to define me.

[cardinalgirl]

i think this website is so neat! i just found it cause i was searching for somethingi to get my mind off of my nausea and this website is helping me deal with a lot of it. I think emets background DO have a lot to do wiht it. I did some research at my college and alot of sources say that extreme trauma or abuse coiuld definatly help it along. My dad died when i was 8 and since then, i have been having the fear , so maybe it is trauma induce, maybe its not.

[kate1966]

Hey, I tend to agree with you ToJohn....i had and still have a very very loving family....however, my mom and dad both are quite the pessimist's...especially my mom. She always sees the bad side of things, and is not quite as positive about things that I am....she always thinks the opposite of what i do. She is the best mom in the world to me, BUT she's not very supportive in some instances. It's kind of hard for me to explain really. She would do ANYTHING in the world for me, and always has, but there is always that feeling that i have that i'm still a little kid to her that knows nothing, and that is always wrong....i don't like to feel that way, b/c i adore and love both my parents with all my heart....but that feeling of not being good enough, or not feeling like you have confidence in life effects me alot...so i do agree with your theory!!!!

[rubysoho120]

I grew up with my mom and two older sisters and she was always supoprt, even in hard times and i dont know what caused this...but what glitter fairy said sounds something like what i think may be going on