Does anyone tell their kids about emet??

[christianne]

Hi there!
I have a question.....has anyone ever explained to their children about their emetophobia? Last week my 9-year-old son was sent home from school with (horrors!!) a bad tummy ache and I kept quizzing the poor little guy about it. Every few minutes I would ask him if it was getting worse or if he felt n* and so forth. Finally he got mad yelled at me to stop asking him so many questions about it. I didn't even blame him for yelling--I was awful and totally out of line. Here the poor kid is doubled over in pain and instead of taking care of him I'm annoying and irritating him. He ended up being fine though--no v*ing or anything.
Still, I thought about explaining why I was acting so crazy just so he knew why, but wanted to get some insight first. Has anyone ever told their kids about this? At nine, is he too young to understand? What would I say???
With school in session I DREAD any call during the day from the school--when they called me last week as soon as I saw who it was on caller ID I flipped. I was shaking in the car on the way to his school. He's not one to v* very often--maybe once every couple years or so, but next time it happens I want him to know I love him more than anything and wish I could be better but I'm just terrified.
Thanks for reading--any help with this will be totally appreciated!!!

[surfjunkie]

I have a 7 year old son, and I have, in so many words, mentioned to him
that just like some people who are afraid of the dark, or of spiders, or
snakes, I am afraid of when people v*. He seemed to really understand
when I put it in those terms. Not long after that, he ate too much junk
food and v*. He said to me, "I know that you don't like when people v*,
but thanks for being here with me."

I don't want to pass along my phobia, but it really helped when I talked to
him about it. I put it into VERY simple terms and tried to equate it to
something that he could relate to.

I'm right there with you........I HATE getting that call from the school!!!!!

You might be surprised how much he can understand! It might also help
you be more aware the next time he isn't feeling well.

[spilled_milk]

I dont have kids as i am a teen, but i wanted to say something from the other side of the spectrum...


my dad told me when i was little that he had a panic disorder, but not in those words. When he freaked out (which i dont remember much of) he would explain that he did not like needles, and put in a rational explanation. He would not scare me, and he would not try to convice ME that it was bad. Also, because I had emet, he would compare his fears to my phobia, to make me feel better. I thin kthat if you feel that it is right to tell your kids and you can do it in a way that will just explain why you are freaking out and not make them have an aversion as well, then you should.


<3 Anya--

[citysides]

Hi Christianne,


I don't have any advice for you, but I am anxious to here everyone's responses. I have two little children, and my Emet is so bad with them. My daughter will start pre-school next yr and I am dreading it.

[dreamer]

I can keep it together quite well when my sons v*, although on the inside I'm a screaming, hysterical mess! So, to the best of my knowledge they're not aware of my emet. I won't be telling them about it any time soon, because frankly I'd rather v* a million times than pass this horrible phobia on to them. To them, v*ing is just another bodily function. Long may that continue!

[samara's on tv]

I don't have kids, but I can honestly say I don't know HOW or even IF I would explain it to them. On one side it might clarify odd behavior but on the other hand it might scare them, ie If Mommy or Daddy is afraid of it shouldn't I be afraid of it too? SO I don't know what I would do. Good advice though so far.


~Monica

[katsamsmom]

my oldest who is almost 12 knows and understands...she is very wise. my youngest knows i am afraid of it. I think it is good for them to know. If my oldest is s then she hollers at her dad. The youngest wants me. I do it.....i cry and shake as i do it.....but i do it.

[christianne]

Hi there!
Thanks for all your advice with this-- you all have been so helpful!! I also am afraid to pass this phobia onto my son as well. He hates to v* (who doesn't??) but so far doesn't seem to fear it like I do. I'm also seriously afraid of spiders--to the point I actually FREEZE when I'm near one, and he's so cute and helpful with that by getting rid of them for me and so forth. When there is a spider around he's wonderful--tells me not to look and he'll take care of it for me. I think since he knows about that fear he'll understand my emet too. So maybe I will explain it to him, just so he understands that it's not him or anything that he did that makes me react the way I do when he v*s. I don't want him to feel like he's bad or like he did something wrong when he's ill, or that I don't love him and so forth, and I think explaining it to him may help prevent that somewhat. Hopefully, anyways!!!

[curly wurly]

Your son sounds very understanding about your phobia of spiders, so I expect he would be very understanding of your emetophobia.


I have told my 6 year old daughter about my phobia. I thought it was better she knew the reason why I always over react when she has a tummy ache or when I struggle to cope when she does v*. I always try hard to cope, but always end up shaking. My daughter has been great about it. When my son was ill earlier in the year, she said "don't worry mummy, I'll look after him". She has no fear of v* at all. Last time she v*d, she told me how brave I was being. I felt quite ashamed and told her I was no where near as brave as her. I try not to make too big a deal about my phobia and always say that v* is not a bad thing at all. My daughter for some unknown reason is petrified of cats and she understands that everyone has a fear of something. She is a little star. My son is only 3, so hopefully he will not find out about my emet for a long time.


Good luck if you do decide to tell your son.

[sage]

I liked your answer, Surfjunkie. I think it's good to tell kids calmly and plainly what is wrong with you, so they don't grow up thinking something is wrong with them. Also, it's impossible to hide your anxiety from your child - there's just no "faking it" with kids - they know something is wrong with mom or dad. Better to tell them exactly what's wrong with you, and what you can and cannot do if they're sick, etc. Be open, be clear - honesty is the best policy, so to speak.

[andee]

I have told my daughter who is 9 about it, in very simple terms. She seems to understand and will go to Dad if something like that is wrong. My son who is 4 1/2 seems to be getting the idea a little. I will tell him too when he is older. I believe too that we should be honest with them and they won't think less of us. As long as they know that they will be taken care of.</font>